Monthly Archives: August 2015

I’m Guilty of Passing Judgement

Colossians 2: 13When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, 14having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.…

James 3:9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

James 4:12There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

“Who are you to determine who I decide to invite to my table?”

It is always strange to think, the prodigal son just as easily can become the older judgmental brother. But, that is exactly what I became as I struggled with my ex wanting a larger role in Jonathan’s life than he had previously attempted to have in 7 years. He wasn’t asking, he was demanding it. And the quote above are the exact words God spoke to me while I paced in the back of the church during a sermon on the Prodigal Son Parable.

“But, he is not even repentant!” Was my argument with God. There are so many people in this fallen world that it may be easy for us to pass judgment upon. Forgetting how much God has forgiven us. My response may be like yours to the horrid actions of Josh Duggar, Bill Cosby, and Jared Fogle. They are not even repentant Lord! When I hear the harm has been done to children, and for the record, I have been that child, well I–I want to cast the largest stone. That God died on a cross for these men, and for those who hurt me, is hard to comprehend. But he did!

In taking a look at almost all of the scriptural situations where Jesus gave forgiveness for sins, it wasn’t after repentance, it was before.

The adulteress woman–caught in the midst of her affair and no indication that she asked for forgiveness

The paralyzed man brought to Jesus to be healed–not looking to be forgiven, he was looking to be healed

The disciples–all would fall away as Jesus was being arrested, yet he chose them!

I think that our world has a very messed up, hypocritical and condemning perspective on sin, particularly sexual sins when it does harm to others, especially children. But, we hold those very same sins up as freedom of expression and dare I say rights when we think that it affects no one but ourselves. It is my body is our mantra! My thinking changed drastically when a second heartbeat began beating under mine. I knew that my drinking could do harm to him, so I stopped. Instantly I became aware that my actions were transferred to a baby who had done nothing to deserve the consequences of my sin. What was happening inside me was a microcosm of Christ’s actions for the entire world. But here is the kicker, Jesus pursued me before I hit rock bottom and finally cried out to him, not after.

While you and I didn’t even realize we needed him, Christ died for us. It isn’t based on our deserving it, it isn’t even based upon any of us ever getting grace figured out. He who knew no sin, became a sin offering because Josh Fogle, Bill Cosby , Josh Duggar, Karisa Moore, _____________, are loved by their creator.

What these men have done is clearly wrong, and they will be judged rightly by God. We too can clearly call sin, sin in order to restore those around us to a right relationship with God, but what we cannot do is cast the first stone. Only the one who knew no sin can condemn rightly. So where does that leave us?

  1. Remove our own logs (sin) (Matthew 7)
  2. Pray that God’s will is done on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10)
  3. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13)
  4. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger (James1)

The bottom line is this: “Our lips must be governed by the law of kindness, as well as truth and justice.”–Matthew Henry

Hero or Realist?

1 Peter 3:8To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; 9not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

Older brother dies in war, younger rebellious brother inherits his dog–insert tears here. Brian, the kids and I went to see the movie Max today. The key transition for the main character: Was he a hero like his brother, or a realist like the man who let his brother die? The realist perspective (according to the bad guy in the movie, mind you) is that there are a lot of bad people (politicians) sending “wide eyed” boys off to war only to hand guns off to the very people that they sent you to fight. He is not wrong about the facts, but he is wrong about the final outcome, and the best response to evil in the world.

Who is the realist, the one who acknowledges that the world can be a harsh, unjust, selfish and crappy place or the one who knows that all have fallen and choses to rise above and bring others up by their example?

I have been wronged and I have wronged others. Does that excuse me to have the “if you can’t beat them, join them attitude”? No, what it does mean is that I have a choice. I have been angry this week, and nursing the anger at those who hurt Jonathan. I am not on autopilot Christianity! I am susceptible to question God’s justice in all of this.

I can choose to be a hero and love my enemies, or I can join the “realists” and be bitter, vengeful and settle for less than God’s best for me and others.

Father, remove this anger from me. Move my soul towards compassion for those who have harmed my son. May I forgive, because you have forgive me. May I be a hero of love and not a realist of hate. Amen

When the Devil Throws Things At You

1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

No one wants to be in the car with me. I get the craziest stuff as obstacles to dodge at 65 miles an hour. A large cooler . . . twice, a tire iron, bales of hay, a car, trash cans, deer, and on Wednesday it was ladders off a work truck. But, as someone reminded me yesterday, I was protected each time. So, riding in the car with me is the safest place to be!

How alert are we? Satan is bound to throw things at us when we are operating in faith! Do we take for granted the discernment of the Holy Spirit (our live in counselor), or deflate the power of temptation, or the greater power of God’s love for us? At least 4 times the enemy tries to kill Jesus before the cross, as a baby, just before he began to minister, and in the midst of a mob of angry people. How was the threat dodged?

  • Awareness of the Threat (Matthew 2:21-22)
  • Obedience (Matthew 2)
  • Knowing Scripture (Matthew 4)
  • Retreating (John 11:53) * Note, he didn’t stop preaching, just didn’t do it where the threat was heightened
  • Divine Intervention (John 10:39)
  • Giving Jesus our anxiety (1 Peter 5:8)
  • Resist by being firm in faith (1 Peter 5:9)
  • Follow the example of spiritual warriors  (1 Peter 5:9)

Out of the Darkness Walk

I am participating in my second walk on October 18th, sponsored by AFSP. Be sure and check for Out of the Darkness Walks in your area. If you would like to donate to my team click on Turn the Page on Suicide. Our goal this year is $2000! The funds support research, support for those who suffer depression and those who endure the aftermath of suicide.

I was hesitant in participating last year in the walk because I was only months out from my son’s death. I am so glad I went and I look forward to supporting others who may also just be starting their walk as survivors.

Blessings upon you.

Karisa

Hugging Photos Isn’t Enough

Daniel hugged the plaque of Jonathan that hung at Moe’s Restaurant this weekend. His heartache was so evident in his attempt to embrace his brother. When that did not satisfy, as we walked out the door he reached for Natalie.

“Here Natalie, you be Jonathan so I can hug you.”

Sigh, I want so badly to fill their little arms. Oh Lord, they need flesh and bones Jonathan, fill them with the satisfaction of your embrace. Hold them tight! Keep them safe from the darkness.

Keeping my Eyes Fixed on Heaven, Where the Sun Never Sets

Hebrews 12:2 …fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

How do we turn the page on the darkness of suicide? Sometimes it feels like we are fighting an invisible and silent monster that steals our children, our spouse, our friend right out from under us. It can happen in an instant or a long drawn out torture over years. Suicide is brutal and depression relentless. My depression started at age 6, and I still feel its claws attempting to draw me backwards into oblivion at age 40. The monster keeps us from our purpose in this life being fulfilled. It may be my thorn in the flesh, but Christ is my light, my sword and my compass. The relationship he has built with me since the age of 20 has proved to me that there is purpose in my sufferings.

Christ suffered our most pervasive sorrows. He hungered, he thirsted, and he was wounded. He was deeply burdened by the state of humanity, he got very little sleep, he was persecuted, and abandoned by those who should have loved and understood his mission the most. The cross loomed before him and he grew more deeply depressed the closer he got to the cross. In a way despair was the final temptation of Christ. It almost killed him before he made it to the cross. And from the cross he cried, “Daddy, why have you abandoned me?” Isn’t that at the heart of our rejection of God, we want to be rescued from our despair. And if he doesn’t we believe he isn’t able or a cruel God. But . . .

Joy is set before us. What did Jesus have as his finish line? His joy was being with his father! Oh dear reader can I share that joy with you? When the Lord and his pleasure in us is set in our minds we can bear any cross! If you have never experienced your heavenly father in such a way to motivate you in this life, here are just a few reasons why he is our joy.

  • Hebrews 2:9-10 We will be crowned with glory and honor in heaven and are made perfect.
  • John 14:2 God’s house there are many dwelling places prepared for us.
  • Ephesians 1:3 Blessed us with every spiritual blessing
  • Revelation 21:22 And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. 23And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the Lamb. 24The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it.…
  • Isaiah 60:20 Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.

Oh for such a day when sorrow ends! I can take hope and not lose heart when my eyes are fixed on the things of heaven. I encourage you to taste and see that the Lord is good in your suffering. Jesus said that if you have seen me, then you have seen the father. (John 14:7) The monster of suicide and depression is no match for the light of heaven. Lets set the joy of being with God before us.

Suicide Didn't Diminish Worth

Pregnant Scripture

Cradled within the womb of death, scripture beats defiant.

Lean in, to discern hope’s unfolding;

multiplying cells of truth over pregnant centuries. Giving

breath to us, too often, dragged to the grave. 

Soothing empty arms,

with strong proof of life after life.

So soft, it is thunder in the vast

noise of doubt’s marketplace.

Firming

backbone to bow

to no man.

Resolving who knit whom together.

Renewing covenant with an empty

grave.

Our souls

swollen with

grief—for but a while.

On a Mission from God is not just for the Blues Brothers

Not every day you see a man and his goat walking down the street! But that was the unique view out my car window yesterday. Today I found out that Steve-the man and Leroy Brown-the goat, are trekking across the United States because they felt called by God to do so. According to their website: “The goal of Needle2Square is to raise enough funds to purchase an orphanage and land for Uzima Outreach [Kenya] so they can have a more permanent location and become self-sustaining.” What is your mission?

We all have one. A God given purpose on this planet. When I was much younger I heard the story of Bill Borden and it left a lasting impression on me. He was a young missionary who turned others towards missions and brought many of the hardest hearts to Christ. He was extremely wealthy and could have lived a safe and cushy life, but he was so burden for world that he found his reward in Jesus Christ. He made an impact wherever he went, turning many at Yale, where he attended college, towards God. He ministered to those the world rejected as hopeless. But, while preparing in Egypt to minister to Muslims, Bill contracted spinal meningitis at the age of 25 and died. Game over right? Not the end of Bill’s story at all.

His mission influences mine today. Once again his words from his journal came back to me and encourage me as I prepare to minister to those most say are without hope. “No reserves” and “No retreats,” and “No regrets.” Those words send many missionaries today out into the field. In Borden’s short 25 years he did far more for furthering the kingdom than most do in a lifetime. Why? Was he somehow different from you and I, was he more blessed, more charismatic, more godly?

No! He was simply more obedient. That is all it takes for you and I to stop tripping over sin, and getting tangled up in doubts, and watered down Christianity. Again from Borden’s journal,  “Say ‘no’ to self and ‘yes’ to Jesus every time.”

Paul said that he had learned the key to being content no matter what his circumstances, whether he had a lot or a little. He could do all things through Christ who strengthens him. (Philippians 4:12-13) Borden had grabbed that same key, and now I grasp ahold of it as well. Not only can I obey Jesus every time, but he gives me the strength to do so! This isn’t a key for a select few. It is a key for all of us. How cool is that. About as cool as seeing a man and his goat on a mission from God raising funds to help Kenya! Can you commit to saying yes to Jesus every time?

God is a god Who Embraces, Get Used to It!

Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. 5A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 6A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. . .

Philippians 3: 12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

I am not just a survivor of suicide, I am a survivor of abuse. When you have layer upon layer of trauma quirks are bound to follow. I can give hugs all day to others, but struggle to accept an embrace. At the core is a desire for control. God is a god who embraces! When I began my relationship with Jesus this was a major issue between him and I. It is one thing to invite Jesus into your heart and it is another to allow him to take up residence. When Jesus embraces, I am faced with a God I cannot control. For many years I have squirmed in his arms, not sure I trust his justice, his love, his passion and compassion for me. But lets face it, his character will never fit into my arms. He embraced me from the cross before I was ever born!

When I had my miscarriage, God went ahead of my loss to prepare comfort. Natalie Grant’s new song “Held” had just come out, and I remember thinking what a comfort it would be for those who experience the loss of a child. A month later I miscarried. I listened to that song over and over allowing my heavenly daddy to hold me in a way I had never allowed before. I found out more about his character in those moments and came to see, in this world I will have troubles, but he has overcome the world. This is a season that I must once again settle into. I need to be held by God and his people.

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary has a fabulous take on Lamentations 3:1-10:

To expect unchanging happiness in a changing world, must end in disappointment.

My world keeps changing. The question is, will I shake off what lays in the past and lay ahold of the one who has embraced me. Because God is a god who embraces and he gives us the opportunity to get used to being held.

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/