Monthly Archives: July 2016
Galatians 6:9
Weekly Challenge: Opposites/Dissidence
I was struck by the quiet stillness of a place usually bursting with sound and movement.
All photos are shot with my Cyber-Shot DSC-H20.
Garden Jokes
A bike ride and morning of photography helped to clear some of the heartache.
Matthew 4:Matthew 4:11
Then the devil left Him, and angels came and ministered to Him.
Luke 22…42“Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.†43Then an angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him. 44And in His anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.…
I am finding, even when I’m not consciously aware of the dates, my soul is. The past two days my heartache has swelled and I didn’t register, just like last year, that the 7th seems to be my absolute hardest day of the year. You would think that the 1st would be it, but it is the day I buried Jonathan. Maybe it is because it the very last physical act or contact I have with his body on this earth. In any case I have dragged myself through the past two days.
I know the depth of this heart ache will end soon. There are simply days when we hurt to our core, whether in depression or grief. Days when the intensity of what we feel is almost more than our physical bodies can handle. Jesus came to a place where the burden he bore was so great that angels ministered to him, just so he wouldn’t die early. It is telling that the two times Jesus was ministered to are two times the enemy came to sift him; Satan attached when Jesus was at his weakest.
So Lord, as I cry out to you today. “This is more than I can bear!” I look for your comfort and provision to minister to me. May your will in my life be a testimony to the strength you offer to all of your adopted children.
When the cup we pass around
the table
grows cold with tears
and our empty
souls only know moldy bread, you came.
Pouring sweet water, forever bubbling generously over the sides
of our limits.
and bread from the banquet table of your papa, the king.
Today is my wedding anniversary. Losing Jonathan on the 1st could have overshadowed our anniversary if we had not been intentional about turning our pages from the beginning. Each year brings new delights for our anniversary because we took those first painful steps to celebrate our marriage. We both felt numb, but we made it to the baseball game we had planned to see for our anniversary. Last year we returned to West Virginia to visit family and friends. We celebrated our anniversary with homemade peach cobbler, the delivery and reading of the Declaration of Independence and exploring our friend’s farm and museums. This year we celebrated with friends and family around food and fireworks. Next weekend we head to D.C. for a rally on The Mall.
There will always be difficult days in grief, things are not as they should be, but there is still a lot of life to live. I choose to watch with awe, the spectacular fireworks of God’s love and maybe even squeal with delight as he surprises me in my grief.
My brother reworked the hymn “How Can I Keep From Singing” to honor and remember his nephew Jonathan. It mostly draws from Unitarian and Christian versions, with a couple of lines written by my brother.
My life flows on in endless song Above earth’s lamentation.
I hear the real, though far off hymn That hails a new creation.
Above the tumult and the strife, I hear the music ringing; . . .
What though the tempest loudly roars, I hear the truth, it liveth.
What though the darkness round me close, Songs in the night it giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm While to that rock I’m clinging.
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth, How can I keep from singing?
With each new day my story grows, the pages ever turning.
And through it all I always hold This flame of hope still burning.
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, A fountain ever springing;
All things are mine since I am his–How can I keep from singing?
How Can I Keep From Singing Enya
When the canvas is brushed black,
And my vision can’t penetrate the opacity
of your masterpiece–shadows of sorrow thicken.
But, you keep painting over my doubts with sunrises.
National Suicide Hotline
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/