Monthly Archives: October 2018

the cross is necessary

God Leans on Sinners

The snap of surprise,

as the ragged watch you

boldly clear a temple bustling

with the commerce of greedy self-worship.

Freeing frightened birds flapping wildly in cages of false belief.

Awakening truth in the hearts of prostitutes, liars,

and outcast.

 

God leans on sinners.

 

Asks the wicked to pray for him.

Chooses friends among enemies, and

intimately sweats the blood of flesh, to meet

his own righteous expectations.

 

 

Today I Walk Out of the Darkness

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:3).

Survivors of Suicide must do what our loved one could not–walk out of the darkness.

We cannot help what was, but we can be a part of changing what is. How?

  • Humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6)
  • Be thankful (1 Peter 5:3)
  • Be present in the lives around you and offer (Matthew 9:35-37)
    • love
    • faith
    • hope
  • Pray for and defend the oppressed (Psalm 10:17-18)
  • Pray for and challenge the oppressors (Matthew 5:44, Isaiah 1:17)
  • Live your God-given life to the fullest (John 10:10)
  • Take courage as you face your own weaknesses and temptations (Luke 8:4-15)
  • Grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
  • Walk together, supporting each other (1 Peter 5:2-4)

This is the foundation God is laying in my grief.  that help me to continue through the valley of the shadow of death rather than becoming mired in the pit of despair.

 

If you would like to make a donation here is my link:

Out of the Darkness Walk Donor Drive

Falter

When crumpled pages still turn

marked and argued within margins

and ideas of who you are no longer boxed in

then I falter no longer, but trust even when …

Grief’s Quickening

When the dust settles over

grave and grass grows

thick over death, your life

still quickens in the womb of

a mother’s grief.

When Your Thoughts Are a Horror Film

My heart staggers; fear makes me tremble. The twilight of my desire has turned to horror.

Isaiah 21:4 NIV

Turning My Page

Awoke this morning to images of my dead son. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does sometimes I can move my brain to dwell on God’s goodness. Other times I cannot.

God planted some new book ideas last night. A great blessing. But, this new, potential series takes me back to those first days, and once those cataloged images are opened some unwanted ones come with it. So what do I do when my thoughts are uncontrollable?

  • Take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.
    • Meditate on scriptures
    • Speak truth over my thoughts
      • I was up late discussing my son
      • Made connections with other men and women who have similar stories
      • Was encouraged by their stories
      • Walked away with ideas for new books
  • Share my struggle with my support team
  • Pray
  • Pour out my complaint before God.
    • Lord, I am struggling with my thoughts this morning. I acknowledge that I want Jonathan alive and here. He is not. What do you want me to learn from my son’s death? Is there anything I need to see differently in light of your love? Father, the enemy seeks to destroy my rest and trust in you. Guide my heart and mind to your truth that I may share your trustworthiness in a deeper way.  Amen.
  • Repeat
    • Sometimes a spirit of fear does not leave easily or quickly. Does a lion just quit when she doesn’t get her prey on the first try? We have an enemy seeking to devour us, and our thoughts are a place he will pursue relentlessly because they are the stronghold of God.
  • Fortify my weakened soul.
  • Rest
  • Be careful what I watch
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Spend time with family and friends

Turning Your Page

You cannot always help where thoughts may go in grief. But, you do not have to stay there.

  • What are your current thoughts revealing?
  • How can you develop the mind of Christ in your difficult circumstances?
  • Who is your support team? Reach out, make them aware of your struggle.

Father, take my thoughts and align them with your truth. Calm my mind and let me rest in the truth that I am yours. Amen

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/