Monthly Archives: August 2019

Under The Influence of Resurrection

Accused.
I stand amazed,
Your amp
Electrified my soul and
Testified boldly to the audience
That you are indeed the crucified All-Mighty.

Drunk? No.
Under the influence of
Your resurrection I
Cannot help but belt out
My gratefulness. Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty.

Saved,
You became my passionate rift of joy,
a bridge that opens eyes to possibility
in the monotony
of daily trials. You are my
chorus to echo experience,
of resurrected life.

(Inspired by Pentecost Acts 1)

When God Hits the Pause Button in Our Faith

“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience” (Hebrews 4:9-12).

God stopped me in my tracks a few months ago. Absence may or may not cause the heart to grow fonder with you readers of Turning the Page on Suicide, but God will do what he sets out to do, with or without my help. I’d rather be a part of his plan, which became clearer, once I stopped banging my head against the wall I thought was writer’s block. God put a flaming sword in my path (see Balaam’s Donkey for more information), I found peace in the silencing of my very busy keys. God has been my muse this whole journey, but somewhere along the journey, I slipped into doing rather than being a witness to you.

In this time of stepping back, God is giving me rest, reminding me of where my help comes from and opening my eyes to new possibilities. “Dream bigger,” he tells me. Just even saying those words gives me delightful goosebumps. The Holy Spirit and I are in constant conversations and he is teaching me to rest in him.

The pause button isn’t the end, but a chance for the refreshment of our spirit, a course correction, or getting new marching orders so that we can fulfill God’s purpose For me it has been a little of all the above. I sat with God, meditating on scripture and studying his character in Ezekiel. He is showing me his justice on a deeper level. He has given me a childlike faith as I play in nature with my camera. And I grow closer to my husband and children through fuller presence and prayer.

Adventures have included speaking to a women’s retreat two weeks ago and a writer/speaker conference this past weekend. God is pouring into me and preparing me for some demanding things that will take a discipline of spirit I lack. These past few months (again, once I stopped beating my writing into submission) is such a sweet and refreshing time. I feel established and rooted in love.

God will always correct, train, and prepare those who stay within His will. Have you hit a perceived wall? Sit there, not in a pout, but in submission. God, what do you want to teach me? Who should I connect with? Run through your spiritual checklist:

  • Am I in the word?
  • Who am I allowing to speak life into me?
  • Do I listen to the Spirit’s counsel?
  • Am I witnessing for the gain of my audience or my own affirmation?

The last is crucial as a writer and follower of Jesus Christ. Knowing that God is well pleased in me matters far more than any other voice in my life. Where do you garner praise? Lean into God’s love for you and if he is hitting the pause button, realize he is preparing you for exceedingly great things.

Love,

Karisa

When the Betrayer Approaches Will I Accept God’s Will?

“‘Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith will not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers’” (Luke 22:31=32).

All of us have a betrayer. A person who knows our inner workings and wounds us deeply. Jesus understands our wound of betrayal intimately.

He was surrounded by betrayers.

Pharisees held the prophecies of His coming in their hands but denied Jesus was the Son of God. Crowds of followers who witnessed miracle after miracle, raised their fists in hatred when it appeared Jesus lost favor. And his friends? There wasn’t a single disciple left in the garden to stand with Jesus as he was arrested.

I too am a betrayer of Jesus.

I knew as a little girl that he was real, walked the earth, was God in flesh, but I rejected Him because He did not meet my expectations. How could a good God allow me to be abused? How could a good God withhold solid friendships? How could a God who cared allow so much evil in the world?

Yet, knowing every last one of those who followed Jesus would betray him, Jesus chose them. Knowing his mother and brothers would laugh at him and reject the gospel he still chose to be born into a family. Jesus knew I would reject him, and yet he still called me, loved me, and never stopped being present in my life.

When I am lax in dying to self, which I have been over the past few months, I am tempted to turn away from God. Two weeks ago God placed a question squarely in my soul. My insomnia and pain were unbearable and I was tempted to throw in the towel on God. He asked, Will you betray me?

I confessed my bitterness, stopped playing the victim of humanity, and submitted to His will. In one desperate cry, my oppressive insomnia was shattered, my attitude was lighter, my whole household noted the transformation. Joy and peace entered our home.

Any person who supports us in ministry is susceptible to the same sinful nature that Peter, James, John and the rest of the disciples displayed. We are human, we are tempted to go our own way, fall asleep when others need us to keep watch and hurt each other with false beliefs. Are you prepared for your betrayer?

PREPARED, not paranoid. Looking for people to hurt us requires distance, fear, and overthinking every action of another person. Preparing for letdowns in relationships requires love, sacrifice, keeping no record of wrongs fasting, praying, surrendering to God’s will, and discernment. This dying to self is nothing short of physical death. Jesus almost died before the cross. He really needed the support of his friends.

There was no one willing to walk into the garden, stay awake, and die on a cross with him. In my 44 years of living, I have observed pastors, deacons, lay leaders and children all fall away from following Christ. There is not a single one of us that is not vulnerable to this temptation given the right environment. Cheat or lose your job. Commit adultery or stay in a loveless marriage. Harden my heart after losing my son, or stand firm, knowing Christ will use my sorrow to save others. We all have betrayal moments.

God made a way for us to turn like Simon, confess our betrayal and love each other as he loved us first. Stronger, more resilient because we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the forgiveness, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Lord!

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/