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Invited into the Garden of Trust: Jesus Trusted His Heavenly Father Completely

Posted March 28, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Matthew: 26: 36Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, â€œSit here, while I go over there and pray.â€ 37And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, â€œMy soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch^d with me.â€ 39And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, â€œMy Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.â€

I’ve been invited into the garden. Not for a girly tea party, nice as those are, but invited to drink a cup of my Father’s will. Two years ago, the Holy Spirit began leading me to the garden, I thought it was teach me forgiveness, but now in the midst of grief, confusion, and a loss I physically cannot bear I finally understand. God was inviting me to trust him completely.

What does it mean to trust God completely?

PuttingÂ God’sÂ will first (vs. 36)
Obedience ( vs. 39,42)
Seeing that God is sovereign inÂ ALL circumstances (vs. 39, 42)
Allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me (vs. 41)
Â Acknowledging my will as well as his (vs. 39)

Jesus was in the habit (discipline)Â of praying in the garden! (Luke 22:39), How many of us, when facing the most difficult trial stick to ourÂ routine of talking to God?Â He went to the gardenÂ not out of sudden desperation, but out of steady consistency.Â Â His prayer was raw, real, and vulnerable. He gave insight into his state of mind, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” Sometimes our will verses God’s will takes us to the brink of death. Our flesh wants its way! This isn’t some lightweight battle, the enemy of our soul knows exactly what he is doing! It is okay to ask the heavenly father for our will to be done, even while we submit to His will completely. The Holy Spirit ministers to us in our weakness. through prayer, keeping watch, discipline, even with those we long to support us fall away in their own weakness.

From Psalm 37 I learn these building blocks of God’s will:

Trust
Delight
Commit
Be Still
Wait patiently
Refrain
Turn
Hope
Consider

As I practice these 9 steps I will find that forgiveness happens out of my God given new spirit, and as I am in the garden, I will be able to trust in everything that I have learned about my heavenly father. Then I will be able to drink the cup of his will completely.

The Object of Our Agitation

Posted March 9, 2015 | Karisa Moore

My son was very agitated today about surface things that I could see had nothing to do with his anguish. Finally, I heard him sobbing in the other room. “Mommy I can’t stop crying.” I wrapped him up in my arm and rocked him as heÂ continued to talk about the object of his concern, but quickly shifted to crying out for Jonathan. “I miss him so much!” he sobbed.

My heart broke for his grief! Oh Lord, equip me to comfort him. How many of usÂ have those moments,Â we feel anxious about our broken toy, the car that just cut us off, the snow trappingÂ us inside, the phone ringing–all the things that on another day wouldn’t bother us, but today it is just too much. All the time brewing beneath that agitation is real heart ache, longing, brokenness, fear, and sorrow.

Why did God create us with emotions? Emotions tend to squish out in strange ways when we deny them their purpose. I believe that our emotions were created to feel joy, pleasure, interact with each other andÂ ourÂ GodÂ internally and externally–literally to be stirred by God. When the fallÂ occurredÂ our emotions were suddenly stirred by sin, which will always point to us away from God. But, we can learn to lay out our heartache, our pain before his throne so that he can replace our burden with healing. Our emotions always long to be in right relationship with God! Don’t be afraid to lift the veil to reveal your heartache to him, He longs to hold us, and is moved with compassion for our sufferings.Â He may prune away what we think is causingÂ us grief to reveal the root.

If someone around you is agitated about things that don’t seem to match in value do a little gardening. Dig past the surface to the root pain;Â much easier to heal when we correctly identify the source of our anguish. It may just be as simple as being present withÂ your loved oneÂ and listening, but it can make all the difference in the world.

Yielding Peaceful Fruit of Righteousness: The Results of Discipline

Posted March 7, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Hebrews 12:11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

I shared with you that my son Daniel is learning to play the violin. He is a beginner, but shows real signs of a great musical ear. It is a delight to watch him discover his capabilities. This last week I got a front row seat for a transition in him. His teacher was more firm with Daniel and I saw the look on my son’s face. His response could go one of two ways, either he melted down into tears because he perceived he wasn’t getting it right, or he heard what his teacher was really saying. “Daniel you are too talented for me to let you get by with sloppy playing.” I bit my lip and held my breath watching Daniel process his teacher’s constructive criticism.

“So if I was giving my best, we would be further along in the book?” Daniel asked.

“Yes.” His instructor answered.

From that moment forward Daniel focused and they played a beautiful duet to end the session. Daniel has not been the same this week. He is practicing without much prompting, way past the 15 min we had been requiring, and he has even picked up on how to play the intro to the Star Wars Theme Song just by watching another violinist play it on YouTube. There is a joy, and discipline that wasn’t there a week ago.

What is it that you and I need to take more seriously? God has gifted each of us! Have you taken the risk to find out what that gifting is? Seek the heart of our creator to discover who he has made you to be. Like Daniel and I, you may be in the midst of God’s discipline. We are too beautiful, too loved and too talented, not to embrace our calling. Don’t you dare tell me that you have no gift, I’ve tried that same tactic. To be totally honest I squandered my writing abilities, because I feared rejection, lacked discipline, and didn’t want to take risks. God is changing me through Jonathan’s death, and revealing to me how much my unique creative fingerprint matters. I want to give you comfort and hope in the midst of your trials and circumstances, because God created in me a love for words, they are my violin. There is a drive, and urgency in my sharing my story, because God created my gifts for such a time as this!

Turning the Page no Matter What: Forming routine in the midst of crisis

Posted January 8, 2015 | Karisa Moore

1 John 1:1That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of lifeâ€” 2the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to usâ€” 3that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. 4And we are writing these things so that our^a joy may be complete. ESV

My children have struggled to head back to school. Two weeks of being out, one of those weeks in a different time zone have wreaked havoc on their routine. They are grumpy, hyper, and testing the limits of bedtime and routine. Yet they need structure and order.

For that matter, so do I. Routine is vital in healing from the trauma of any kind. My son’s suicide has forced me to simplify (my brain simply cannot store any sort of useful information right now), to write notes, to weed my schedule down, and to limit my interactions with people who drain what little energy that I have.

My husband and I went into Christmas with a plan and it was a good one. It aided us in saying no when we needed to, guarding each other’s hearts, and in creating new memories to cherish Jonathan. God blessed and honored our commitment with surprises around every corner, reminding usÂ of his presence with us! Thank you Lord.

The future spread out before me is daunting. I must take each day one at a time, just as Jesus did. Jesus knew he was headed toward the cross and he maintained a routine of prayer, scripture, fellowship, and witnessing. The burden of walking towards the cross was broken down into daily pieces that fit perfectly in God’s plan. The four spokes of the wheel illustration I mentioned in an earlier post, aren’t just nice ideas. They are the daily routine that keep us focused and reliant upon the will of God!Â As we are strengthened in each, the crosses we bear are not a burden in the light of his love and God’s plan for salvation. Lord, give me enough for today. Amen

The Value of a Page Written in Tears

Posted January 6, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Luke 23:44It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness fell over the whole land until the ninth hour, 45because the sun was obscured; and the veil of the temple was torn in two.

I was doing great yesterday morning, but in the afternoon I began sobbing uncontrollably as I was working on laundry. Especially when I saw my son’s bed and could so clearly see his figure, both as a child and as a teenager, curled up under the covers.

Everyday functioning is so much harder with a piece of you missing. You walk through your day with a constant nagging feeling that there is something valuable lost that you are constantly searching for. For those of us who have lost a loved one, there is no quick fix, no glue that will repair this crack in our soul.

I truly believe that heaven is affected by the loss of Jonathan. The day I put my son in the ground the weather went crazy. For the burial the sun shone brightly, but quickly after it began storming and the sky went black. That is why, when the sky suddenly began brightening at 9:00 in the evening, everyone took notice.

My neighbor and I went outside and began snapping pictures. On one side were the billowing lines of the storm clouds, but to the west was this eerie orange light. My husband felt that heaven was mourning with us.

And why wouldn’t heaven mourn?Â God created each person with a unique fingerprint, there is not a single one of us that he does not value! Jesus came so that we may have abundant life. My son’s life was valuable to God.

What is it that you were created for? As I mourn for Jonathan I also have two more precious little ones who need to know that they have value. My kids struggled to settle down for sleep last night. I snuggled with Natalie first. We giggled like little girls,Â and she shared how much she missed Jonathan.Â I then climbed up into Daniel’s loft bed to snuggle with him (no easy task); he was so pleased that I was taking the time to be present with him that he began talking a mile a minute. He had so much he wanted to share with me. To reach beyond my grief to be present with them felt good.

My life has value, So I keep turning the page of my story to find out what happens next, even if it is a day heavy with tears. What pageÂ are youÂ writing today?

Abracadabra! Turning my “what ifs” into choices I can live with

Posted December 31, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Missing Jonathan the past two days. I have had such a reprieve over most of Christmas that the intense heartache is consuming my mind. It is hard to keep the “what ifs” at bay.

No matter what your current circumstances there can always be “what ifs” asked. As I attempted to lasso my thoughts the clear answer is “but I didn’t”. The what if’s are infinite, but the “I dids” are finite. Can I live with my choices?

…

Some of us spend much of our times going through all the scenarios of the things we didn’t choose. What if I had chosen to take that job, or marry James instead of John, and on and on it goes.

Jesus lived with the choices that he made. That wasn’t because he didn’t have “what ifs”; he trusted his heavenly father completely with all of his choices. At the heart of every moment of his time on this earth was loving God and loving his neighbor as himself. Those are the best choices that we can make.

I am imperfect, but I certainly love God and love my children. . . and where I am weak, well those are the places that I hope that Christ shines brightest. Christ is the author and perfector of my faith, as I grow in love I will have fewer what ifs and more confidence in the I dids. For now, I take confidence in what Christ did for me.

What is in Your Hands?: Opening our hands to God’s great gifts

Posted November 20, 2014 | Karisa Moore

What is in your hands? A common question from parents, seeing their children clenching a object tightly in a effort to hide it. As I grieve I have to be careful not to hold on to tightly to my children, my husband, or objects of remembrance.

We are headed into seasons Jonathan has always been an intricate part of. He loved Christmas! Before Daniel and Natalie were on the scene he was the one getting all the adults up to come down for presents. In recent years …he has helped me paint a football field in the yard as part of Daniel’s present. We would come out after lunch Christmas day and play a game.

So today I reveal to my heavenly father what is in my hands. I am holding so tightly to the fact that Jonathan should be here that I’m missing out on creating new memories with Daniel and Natalie. I open my hands to the new gifts God wants to bring to my family this year.

Today we start a new Christmas tradition. Can’t tell you, its a surprise! Just know that it will be filled with love, joy, and peace, especially wrapped for you! What are you holding on to this Thanksgiving and Christmas? Can we open our hands and allow God to give us far greater than anything we hold tightly to?

Posted November 18, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Isaiah 55:10:9-11 â€¦9″For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts. 10″For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, And do not return there without watering the earth And making it bear and sprout, And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; 11So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.â€¦

You are as unique as each delicate snowflake that adorns our morning. The Lord will accomplish all that he has in mind for us!

I am struck by the amazing creative provision in all we experience each day. Our minds, our hearts, the wonder of snow laced trees. God has a storehouse that we can never come to the end of.

He also creates for our pleasure! From six to ten my family lived just outside of Chicago. Snow was our world! We bundled into snow suits and spent the day sledding, building forts, and amazing snowball fights.

Rather than starting your day, as I have, groaning at the wet frozen stuff that makes commutes a bit longer, and ensures a wet house, why not remember that God provides. What creative ways has God provided for you today or as a stone of remembrance from your past?