Posts Categorized: devotional

God is a god Who Embraces, Get Used to It!

Posted August 14, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. 5A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 6A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. . .

Philippians 3: 12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

I am not just a survivor of suicide, I am a survivor of abuse. When you have layer upon layer of trauma quirks are bound to follow. I can give hugs all day to others, but struggle to accept an embrace. At the core is a desire for control. God is a god who embraces! When I began my relationship with Jesus this was a major issue between him and I. It is one thing to invite Jesus into your heart and it is another to allow him to take up residence. When Jesus embraces, I am faced with a God I cannot control. For many years I have squirmed in his arms, not sure I trust his justice, his love, his passion and compassion for me. But lets face it, his character will never fit into my arms. He embraced me from the cross before I was ever born!

When I had my miscarriage, God went ahead of my loss to prepare comfort. Natalie Grant’s new song “Held” had just come out, and I remember thinking what a comfort it would be for those who experience the loss of a child. A month later I miscarried. I listened to that song over and over allowing my heavenly daddy to hold me in a way I had never allowed before. I found out more about his character in those moments and came to see, in this world I will have troubles, but he has overcome the world. This is a season that I must once again settle into. I need to be held by God and his people.

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary has a fabulous take on Lamentations 3:1-10:

To expect unchanging happiness in a changing world, must end in disappointment.

My world keeps changing. The question is, will I shake off what lays in the past and lay ahold of the one who has embraced me. Because God is a god who embraces and he gives us the opportunity to get used to being held.

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Healing to Your Flesh and Refreshment to Your Bones

Posted August 13, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Proverbs 3:3Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4So you will find favor and good successa
in the sight of God and man.

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
7Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your fleshb
and refreshmentc to your bones.

As I type the sun is streaming through my window, greeting me with the joy of my heavenly father. For this first year I have felt crushed by my circumstances. My goal of grieving with hope constantly weighed down by my lack of trust in God’s ways. Last night I turned a difficult corner. My sorrow, doubts and fears lay on the altar ready at last to submit to God’s will. He will produce glory from my son’s death. There is no more question mark. I can relax into his purpose because it is no longer at odds with my purpose. I want what he wants, not the other way around. “He is not a tame lion, but he is good.” (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) I can trust his goodness even if his ways are not my ways.

I cannot emphasis enough that this has come about through meditating on scripture. The verses that I have been reading since Jonathan’s death establish God’s sovereignty in my circumstances, his foundation of love, his goodness and that his will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Romans 8 helped me to determine that I want the Spirit of life to control me, not my sinful nature.

Now it is a matter of walking in the light of his path that he makes straight for me. He will show me where to go, and equip me to get there. Following his ways and leaning not on my own understanding will be healing to my body and refreshment to my bones.

Proverbs 3 My Role and God’s Role

Me

  • remember the love and faithfulness God has shown me
  • meditate upon examples of his character
  • be loving and faithful
  • love God with my whole heart, leaning on my own understanding results in half-hearted attempts
  • acknowledging God in all my ways leaves no room for selfish ambition, no maverick off-roading
  • remember that the results are his not mine
  • respect and honor the Lord’s sovereignty in every situation and see evil as opposing counsel

God

  • gives favor and success with God and man
  • straightens out my path
  • heals my body and refreshes my bones
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Bearing Weakness: Edifying our Neighbor

Posted August 2, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Romans 15:1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.…

A hard evening for my son. I sat rocking him as he grieved. No words were needed, they will not wash away the heartache he feels, and a Star Wars Band-Aid will not cover his wounds. I silently cried out to my heavenly daddy on my son’s behalf, and let God’s comfort wash over Daniel’s heart. God can get at those places that I cannot.

What do you do in those moments that others suffer? How do you respond to their grief? You may be dealing with a host of your own problems, and it feels like a heavy burden to sit and rock someone as they cry. Dear sister and dear brother we all are broken, and we all are grieving something. We all need to be held.

A neighbor mowed our lawn today. It means so much to me that they reached out. It is hard to accept aid from others, but that is the pride talking. Let others lift your burdens. What my neighbor did for us, enabled me to be present with Daniel. Jesus shared our burdens on the cross–he died to lighten our load! When we treat our neighbors as God treated us, we aren’t just sharing each others burdens, we share each other’s worth. You are valuable to me! You are a treasure! You are worth rocking and being held in your grief.

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Sowing in Tears = a Joyful Harvest

Posted July 28, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 126:6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

I dreamed about Jonathan last night. We were so excited to see him, but I knew it was only temporary so I invited everyone to visit him, hug him and we loved and laughed deeply together. It felt so good to see him, healthy, happy and whole. And then I quietly said my good-bye and turned away releasing the memory of him to where I now know it belongs.

There is such a shift in my heartache. It well never leave me, but there is an acceptance that I’m different and becoming a better person not in spite of the anguish of loss, but as a result of. How many years do we spend running from the painful things in our lives? If you are like me, our past is littered with brokenness. It can be so easy to slip into a cycle of short-sightedness and forget that God sows seeds through generations. Sometimes we sow tears for many years, but oh the harvest we reap when we do not give up!

Joseph, from the Old Testament, sowed tears for just shy of 20 years, before he saw his dream fulfilled. And Israel would later sow tears for 400 years before they were freed from slavery. The whole world had to wait for thousands of years before the promised Messiah would come and free us from the consequences of sin. Jesus sowed in tears. I am a part of his harvest.

Why does a good and loving God operate this way? Why does he allow pain and suffering? Why do we have to sow in tears? What if I told you WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW HAS THE POWER FOR THE REDEMPTION OF MANY! Would you believe me? Would you keep sowing in the midst of your depression? There are many witnesses who have gone before me to testify that there most painful times were when they drew the closest to Christ, grew in belief and action, and began to anticipate a larger harvest. I have seen first hand God’s hand move in the lives plagued by deepest despair (cancer, divorce, death of a husband or child, natural disaster). In Psalm 126, the psalmist is celebrating the restoration of Israel’s fortunes and he shares three crucial elements that are true in the deepest, darkest moments we go through. 1.We will be filled with joy and laughter again. 2. The Lord is aware of our planting. 3. We will reap and the nations will take notice of the difference in us

This is at the core of grieving with hope!

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Turning the Page on Arrogance

Posted July 24, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 9For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

If I were God, chocolate and coke would never add to my weight, my husband would be my fairytale prince, my children would obey without question, and I would never allow another child to be lost to suicide. Just in writing the above sentence I notice that your desires are not reflected. Every last bit of what I just wrote are my own wants. But isn’t this an accurate depiction of our thoughts? We often measure God by the shallowness of our own thinking. One only needs to look at Jesus to see that God shatters the way that individuals, society, our government and our world thinks.

Man’s Thinking =All roads lead to heaven vs. God’s Thinking= Narrow is the path that leads to righteousness (right living) and wide is the path that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13-14)

Man’s Thinking = Self Preservation vs. God’s thinking= If you want to gain your life you have to lose it (Luke 7:33)

Man’s Thinking = We build our governments vs. God’s thinking = Daniel 2:21 . . .He removes kings and establishes kings; . . .

I am arrogant in my man centered thinking. I judge God by what I would do in his place. I question the goodness of his plan. Arrogance means: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. (Merriam-Webster).  A close relation to arrogance is arrogate: to take or claim (something, such as a right or a privilege) in a way that is not fair or legal. Both literally mean “away from asking”.  And at the heart of arrogance is a lack of submission to God’s will.  I struggle to ask God his thoughts on healing the heartache and brokenness so many experience.

Have you ever been blindfolded and had to trust others to lead you? Fine in familiar territory, but would you trust others to lead you safely across a busy street? That is what trusting God is often feels like for me. Except my blindfold is sin. God is asking me to trust his goodness, his will, his upside down plan that results in a perfect plan for the salvation of many.

I WANT TO SEE WHERE I’M GOING! Our trust stops where we lose control of the path to the final outcome. I am totally out of control of the path to turning the page on the suicide epidemic. That is hard. To trust that God cares more for what is happening to us, our friends and family who suffer depression, mental illness, and despair than I do, takes an acceptance of his upside down plan. I want to be God in turning ending this nightmare, yet his way is often through slavery, deserts, pits, and loss.

But oh my goodness do I want the results!!! Joseph, is one of the Old Testament men who is a founding rock of my faith. He was almost murdered, sold into slavery, falsely accused, thrown into prison and forgotten by man, but God showed him favor. God lead him (blindfolded by his own version of the dream) into second in command to pharaoh! In this position he saves many nations from famine and rescues his own family from certain death. Not the path Joseph saw coming, but he trusted God to lead him through anything. Can you and I trust God to lead us to an outcome that will always save many?

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I Am Not Picasso, I’m the Brush: Learning to Glorify God Not the Words I Write

Posted July 20, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Philippians 2:5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6Who, being in very naturea God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very natureb of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!

Do we make ourselves nothing as Christians? I have been working to remove idols from my life this month. And there are many. A person handed me In His Steps when I was young, sharing the challenge of asking, “What would Jesus Do?”, in all aspects of our lives. I read it, attempted to ask “what would Jesus do”, and fizzled out very quickly. Why? Because, doing what Jesus would do, does not include being the center of praise. I seek the comfort of worthiness in man’s eyes, not God’s pleasure.This is an idol. I worship at the feet of human praise.

Everything in this world points towards praising the individual. It is an accepted practice–even by the church. When we applaud or give standing ovations to the work of our musicians, our pastor and ourselves are we giving God the glory? Please hear me, I am simply asking our motivation. The answer is between you and your maker. We have shows boldly calling themselves “American Idol”. Idol is not a bad word on our lips, it is someone with gifts and talents to admire. And some even acknowledge God for their talents, but it isn’t God we admire on that stage.

When you read my writing does God take center stage, or do I? I want his mighty works to be what you see. “When you see a great Picasso, da Vinci or Rembrandt. Do you ever sing the praises of their brush. It’s the master of the masterpiece who deserves the praise. Not the paint they use-blue, green, or blush. So don’t praise me if I do something wonderful . . .” (From the movie In His Steps)

Do we find ourselves needing praise to do a good job, or are we doing each aspect of our life to the glory of God? Taking on the very nature of a servant. Guaranteed we’ll be called “Jesus Freaks”, but there are worse things I could be called–such as an idol.

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Archer’s Paradox

Posted July 16, 2015 | Karisa Moore

On our own, the miracle of belief misses the bullseye.

Our arrogant eyes, religiously taking aim

at flesh, with log or spec setting

off truth’s perfect course to the heart.

And nature reveals the gravity of our sin—friction

setting law against law,

pulling faith to the ground.

Words fail to hit their aim; faulty

and misshapen by the stiff spine of intent,

but, flexing improves our accuracy.

And three fletching feathers (love, faith, and hope)

gives the necessary rotation

So that life doesn’t plane out of control.

And the word hits its mark every time.

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The Salvation Plan According to Daniel

Posted July 15, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Luke 18:16 But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.

My kids, all three of them, have always wowed me with the depth of their questions and insights. The latest was “Do animals have souls.” Followed up with “Are there animals in hell?” The former I have also asked, the latter I had never thought of.

Today, Daniel and Natalie were asking what it takes to get to heaven.

Me: Accepting Jesus into your heart.

Daniel: What does that mean?

Me: That you listen to Jesus and allow him to be the leader of everything you do.

Daniel: You know, I was thinking about that the other day while in the bath tub. (Mommy note: Many great thinking is done in the bathroom, I am convinced of that!) Satan thinks that he is leading you miles and miles away from God. But, with God you are always at 0 miles away. You can turn to him at any time.

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I Don’t Need a Diviner of Dreams: I need Jesus

Posted July 13, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Jeremiah 27: 9“But as for you, do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your dreamers, your soothsayers or your sorcerers who speak to you, saying, ‘You will not serve the king of Babylon.’ 10“For they prophesy a lie to you in order to remove you far from your land; and I will drive you out and you will perish.…

For an entire week I have dreamed about my son and his dad. In my year of grieving I have never dreamed about my ex and have had inconsistent dreams about Jonathan. Dreams are a tough call when it comes to interpretation, some are from God, and some are not. Are these?

As I research dreams in scripture, it is clear that many people have been lead astray by dreamers and interpreter of dreams. I am one of those people. I have had vivid dreams since I was a child. Most of them were night terrors or nightmares. As I got older I searched for answers in dream books. At no time did I think of asking God. In fact my searches took me further and further away from him.

We have all kinds of mediums, psychics, etc. today. I have had my palm read (none of which came true), been tempted by witchcraft (until I felt the depth of evil I was messing with), and been fascinated by dream interpretations. All of these men and women offer us quick fixes to long term problems. They don’t see how our story fits into the big picture, nor how the difficult things we avoid, may be the very things we must, and need to go through to achieve the greater good. They are just like us, men and women trying to make sense of circumstances that at times, feel beyond our control. We need someone who isn’t motivated by selfish desires, who isn’t into “truth telling” for the money, who risks loosing it all to bring us the truth of God. Men like Joseph, Daniel, and Joseph the step-father of Jesus had dreams clearly considered from God. Why is that? Scripture doesn’t say why these men dreamed and interpreted dreams differently than the rest. But, it does say that God was with them, gave them favor, and they gave him the glory.

Who are we seeking for answers? Are they giving God the glory, themselves, or Satan? I don’t need an interpreter of dreams to know that I am to pray for my ex, forgive him, and show compassion towards him and my mind battles with selfish desires–holding on to anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Lord, I ask that you would give me the strength to forgive others as you forgave me. Amen

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Mama Told Me There’d be Day’s Like This: Overcoming Downcast Days

Posted July 12, 2015 | Karisa Moore

John 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

I woke up to the tune of “Day’s Like This” going through my head. Not a good sign. When I entered the church this morning I found myself scanning for Jonathan. It was hard to worship, even though I was excited to hear from the book of Daniel. I was so weary when we got home that I laid down and napped.

When you grieve, or suffer depression, there are simply days that don’t feel right. But ironically, as I looked for the lyrics to the song stuck in my head–having little to do with my circumstances–I discovered that Van Morrison took the phrase and turned it on its head. His lyrics warn against getting too attached to the good days because bad days will happen and they can derail you if you aren’t prepared (love Morrison’s take on the phrase).

Jesus prepared the disciples for his death. He said, “Don’t get so attached to the good days with me that you forget, in this life, you will have many trials.” Too often we Christians try to portray becoming a believer as a smooth ride, but it isn’t. “I’m hanging with Jesus. It’s all good.” But it is not all good. At least not if you plan on digging in the trenches of faith. Sometimes I don’t feel like singing, praying, reading scripture, fellowshipping, or witnessing. Good that Jesus conquered the consequences of my darkest days before I ever took a breath!

When I came in this evening, after weed-eating and mowing I put my arms out like a zombie and asked for hugs from my kids and husband. They scattered with laughter. It felt good to overcome the grass swamp in my backyard. The rain had kept us from mowing all week and with no end in sight to the rain, it was as dry as it was going to get. More than that, I needed to work hard to snap out of my downcast spirit.

There are days like this dear friend, but Jesus has overcome the world!

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