suicide Archives - Page 8 of 9 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Categorized: suicide

Depression, my Jericho Wall: How do I defeat my enemy?

Posted March 11, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Joshua 5:13Â When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, â€œAre you for us, or for our adversaries?â€ 14And he said, â€œNo; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.â€ And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, â€œWhat does my lord say to his servant?â€ 15And the commander of the Lordâ€™s army said to Joshua, â€œTake off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy.â€ And Joshua did so.

The wall! I expect it these days, so I don’t go running into it full force,but sometimes it looms so largeÂ I can’t breathe. I don’t know what caused this wall of depression, maybe starting another round of insomnia,my kids grief, or my own. It is so real I can see it and touch it. I can’t go further, and I refuse to go backwards, so what are my options?

My option is to cry out to my heavenly father! I cannot move, climb over, or go aroundÂ this wall, but he can.Â In collegeÂ I was reading about Joshua in my Navigator Bible; the caption spoke about the ruins of Jericho. The way theÂ stones areÂ positioned it is clear that theÂ walls fell outward, not inward. A mighty force pushed from the inside!

I need a mighty force knocking down the wall of depressionÂ from the inside. If we are in Christ we have a mighty warrior on the inside–the Holy Spirit!

Acts 2:1When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^a as the Spirit enabled them.

Much of what has transpired since the death of my son has been through the Comforter (another name for the Holy Spirit). I thank you father for what you have done, what you are doing, and what you will do. Direct my path so that I may be a living witness to your power and strength over depression. This is my Jericho wall!Â You are a force to be reckoned with and no wall can stand against you.Â Â Maybe you have allowed this wall in my life to show others that nothing is too big for you! Not our doubts, not our fears, not our enemies, not depression–nothing can separate us from your love! Thank you for giving me your peace, that makes absolutely no sense in these circumstances. Teach me to abide in your will no matter where you lead me. Amen!

Jonathan’s Hope

Posted March 10, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Dear Reader,

Today I start a new page of my journey. My son’s suicide is a part of my story, and you too may suffer this deep heartache, but suicide doesn’t have to be a part of another parent, friend,Â or spouse’s story. We can Turn the Page on Suicide by being a light in the darkness.

In my sidebar is a link of resources that will now be named Jonathan’s Hope. I ask that if you come across anything that is making an impact in Turning the Page on Suicide, that you will send the link to me and I will add it to Jonathan’s Hope.Â I’m not in your community andÂ I want the resources to be as local as possible. My hope is that we can build a network of hope across the country.

Thank you for working with me to Turn the Page on Suicide and offer hope to others like Jonathan.

Love and Hope to you all,

bkmoore

Jesus Redefined Death with His Beautiful Blood

Posted March 8, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Today was all about death. God revealed his active role in my circumstances through worship. I heard the song “Beautiful Blood” by Kutless for the first time this morning, and I cocked my head in disbelief. It referred to death as being sweet. For someone mourning the tragic death of her son to suicide, the opening line was not something I am easily inclined to accept. My spirit is resistant to stating anything about death as beautiful. Death is our brokenness, death is our bodies breaking down, death ends our connection to our loved ones, death is cancer, death is loneliness, death is final.

My pastor called death a bully this morning! Jesus’ friend Lazarus had been dead for four days, and it was impossible to come back from. Death didn’t even have the decency to spare Jesus’ best friend! Why in the world didn’t Jesus save his friend while he still lived? Like Mary and Martha I want to cry out. Say the word Jesus and my son is healed, say the word Jesus and my marriage is restored. You know that I love you, you know that I follow you. Don’t I deserve something extra? Thomas, Jesus’ disciple, responds to the death of their friend by saying, “Let us also go, that we may die with him. Oh, I have never understood Thomas’ grief more than now (John 11).

You and I may struggle to look beyond death, but Jesus has heaven in view the whole time.

He comforts the sisters of Lazarus and his disciples with these words, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” Oh Jesus, I want to believe, help me with my unbelief! Jesus had raised others from the dead, but not after four days in the tomb. The other miracles could be explained away, but not Lazarus walking out of the grave alive. While everyone was celebrating the miracle, Jesus had signed his death warrant.

Today is all about life beyond death because Jesus’ chose death on a cross, in my place. His death is beautiful because he died while I could do nothing about it. I was still caught in sin and he chose me! So his blood is beautiful because I know that my son’s suicide is not the end of my story. God will be glorified.

Yielding Peaceful Fruit of Righteousness: The Results of Discipline

Posted March 7, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Hebrews 12:11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

I shared with you that my son Daniel is learning to play the violin. He is a beginner, but shows real signs of a great musical ear. It is a delight to watch him discover his capabilities. This last week I got a front row seat for a transition in him. His teacher was more firm with Daniel and I saw the look on my son’s face. His response could go one of two ways, either he melted down into tears because he perceived he wasn’t getting it right, or he heard what his teacher was really saying. “Daniel you are too talented for me to let you get by with sloppy playing.” I bit my lip and held my breath watching Daniel process his teacher’s constructive criticism.

“So if I was giving my best, we would be further along in the book?” Daniel asked.

“Yes.” His instructor answered.

From that moment forward Daniel focused and they played a beautiful duet to end the session. Daniel has not been the same this week. He is practicing without much prompting, way past the 15 min we had been requiring, and he has even picked up on how to play the intro to the Star Wars Theme Song just by watching another violinist play it on YouTube. There is a joy, and discipline that wasn’t there a week ago.

What is it that you and I need to take more seriously? God has gifted each of us! Have you taken the risk to find out what that gifting is? Seek the heart of our creator to discover who he has made you to be. Like Daniel and I, you may be in the midst of God’s discipline. We are too beautiful, too loved and too talented, not to embrace our calling. Don’t you dare tell me that you have no gift, I’ve tried that same tactic. To be totally honest I squandered my writing abilities, because I feared rejection, lacked discipline, and didn’t want to take risks. God is changing me through Jonathan’s death, and revealing to me how much my unique creative fingerprint matters. I want to give you comfort and hope in the midst of your trials and circumstances, because God created in me a love for words, they are my violin. There is a drive, and urgency in my sharing my story, because God created my gifts for such a time as this!

Welcome, New Page Turners!

Posted February 16, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Dear Page Turner,

Today my page has been filled to the brim and running over.Â I wanted to take a moment to welcome the newcomers, thank you for your comments and support. As this blog grows it is my hope that it becomes a resource, encouragement, and lifeline to those effected by suicide and depression. Which, I am finding, touches just about all of us in some way. You may have a friend, loved one or even a complete stranger that you are concerned for. Don’t hesitate to reach out, be present, or sit with them. Be sure to vote in the poll I have set up.Â Your answersÂ will help me to formÂ content for new posts, and create resources for you as you engage those around you. Feel free to share it with your readers.

Continue to write your open page turners, I want to read what happens next.

Sincerely,

Karisa

Pictured Here is You

Posted | Karisa Moore

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Wall to Wall.”

My walls look so different now that I have a frozen teenager. I have no photo to change, no memory to add of Jonathan.Â I see the pain in his eyes, that no glossy smile can hide. In time, the rest of the photos will catch upÂ and pass him by. Adult Daniel and Natalie smile back at me. . . grandkids laugh and play, but Jonathan’s photo has no update.

His growth is now captured in snapshots of how you and I live differently. Hang snapshots of love, forgivenessÂ , generosity, and Â hope on the wall of your soul–they are my new photosÂ of him.

I Don’t Need Fifty Shades Of Grey: Just Give Me One-Of-A-Kind Black And White Love

Posted February 14, 2015 | Karisa Moore

IÂ haveÂ had enough shades of grey in my life, it has left me lost, confused, afraid, and depressed. Seems to me that our world keeps trying to sell us cheap grey imitations of love when what we crave is black and white love! I have only found that kind of crisp,Â clear love in one place–the arms of my heavenly father. It may have involved a cross, but that was his choice for me, and again added depth and dimension to my life thatÂ is like nothingÂ I have ever feltÂ before. Agape love is unconditional, and itÂ is something I can count on for a lifetime!Â Jesus’ love enables me to reach beyond my grief, to hold you, encourage you, and to keep writing my story no matter what. God’s love isÂ not stored in a “room” for only a select few, but is sewn into the very fabric of creation. Look around you, it isn’t hidden!

Are you craving some black and white love? Check these verses out:

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues^a of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^b but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Romans 8

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^k neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 1

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to
do with punishment.

Romans 5

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Jonah 2

8 Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love.

Psalm 52

8 But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever.

A Timely Touch: Letting others know that you are aware of their pain

Posted February 13, 2015 | Karisa Moore

I began sorting pictures and papers this week. As you can imagine the task hasn’t been easy; seeingÂ myÂ vibrant Jonathan deepens my heartache. I even found valentine cards. Yesterday I was struggling to not sink into despair. A card arrived in my mailbox and it was once again the timely boost I needed to get through the day.

Sometimes that is all it takes to break someone from their downward spiral. I call these moments when someone reaches out a “timely touch” that says I see you, I know you are in pain.

I encourage you, if you have anyone in your life who is struggling with the weight of their burdens, reach out and touch them with a note. If you are able come along side and share their burden, even better. Don’t be afraid to bother them. Don’t be afraid to see them. Don’t be afraid to grieve with them.

Your touchÂ has made all the difference to me.