Posts Categorized: blogging

Hearing God in the Silence of Grief

Posted May 16, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Romans 8:31What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”j

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

 

It’s the silence, after a house full of guests, that threatens to undo me. In grief, you brace yourself for the days of deepest memories, but the days that would have been routine, those are the days that crush bones. In these difficult days I grow best if I listen to what the new aspects of grief want to tell me.

I hear God calling me.

I am here, in this season of depression, to shout that God makes a way through. I am being stretched and prepared to love more deeply than I ever thought possible, so that you know, beyond a shadow of doubt that God loves you. He has chosen you since before the beginning of creation! There is not a single second of your existence that does not matter to him.

Lean in and listen to the silence of your circumstances. Allow God to teach you more about both loss and gain than you knew before. Grief can widen our hearts to love God and our neighbor more deeply or close us off. Perspective is the only difference. Do I fix my eyes on the evil of losing Jonathan, meant to harm me (which it was), or allow God to transform my loss into good, for the salvation of many? Even typing these words are hard. I grapple with the untamed nature of God most when ask this question.

But, then I look at the son God did not spare. Was the cross evil. Yes. Was Jesus innocent. Yes. Did God spare Jesus. No  What kind of God operates this way? I have heard again and again from people suffering the horrid torment of cancer that they felt God’s presence, and were able to love more deeply than before their cancer. What kind of God determines what is evil as being for the good of the world?

A God who is not limited by evil!  A God who sent his own son to the pits of hell to save us. A God who gave us over to ourselves, but made a way for us to be better since the beginning of time. My God isn’t tame, he is dangerous to follow, but he is good! How glad that I am that God has never fit into my box, or been limited by what evil men do!

Listen to God’s call on your life and walk through the flames if that is where he leads. He may take you out of the furnace, he may take you through the furnace, or he might take you by the furnace, but one thing is certain, others will see him standing with us as we walk in obedience to his will.

 

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I Write Because . . .

Posted May 7, 2016 | Karisa Moore
. . .Sand should be squished between toes
and the ocean caught in cockle shells.
. . .Children’s laughter begs even the soberest of lips to curl into a smile.
. . .Pain digs into my heart
And I refuse to hold it in.
. . .God tickles my ears with
whispered clues to life’s mysteries.
. . .Pop-sickles melt loud summer days
into cool splashes of flavor.
. . .Treasures are found in the cracks of chairs that bring back memories we lose.
. . .I want the sugar I harvest
to sweeten someone else’s black coffee.
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Do I Need to Climb Into the Pit to Understand You?

Posted March 10, 2016 | Karisa Moore

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 21:15When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

 

“I don’t think anyone can understand what I’m going through, unless they have been there.”

“If you want to understand someone you have to walk a mile in their shoes.”

“You have such a good testimony. My faith has never been tested like that.”

 

I have heard statements like this for a long time and I didn’t realize why they make me cringe, until today. I state again, Jesus ate with sinners, but he did not become a sinner to understand our pain. I do not buy the idea that somehow, those who have not been touched in someway by suicide cannot understand my pain and grief. If you are in the flesh, you can understand. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

The effectiveness of our empathy for the broken comes from how closely we are relating to the love of God, not how much we relate to each other. I think I have just rebuffed about every method of psychology we use to address what ails us in that statement. If we really want to counter suicide and depression then we need to love like Jesus. Only then will we feed his sheep, sacrifice for others, take persecution and forgive our enemies.

The closer I draw to the love of my heavenly Father the more I love and am broken hearted for your pain and struggles. And, since there was no separation between Jesus and the love of God he loves us completely! This was the first truth I had to accept when I began walking with Jesus. Scripture is a love note from beginning to end, even the hard parts. From the beginning of creation God has loved us.

When Jesus asks you if you love him, what is your answer?

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Delivered from the Dead Life

Posted February 5, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Romans 8: 9You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.10But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesusd from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. (ESV)

9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s! (The Message)
Clearly, I sit close to death. My tent pegs are set in the valley of the shadow of death. My campfire struggles against the icy blasts of the grave . . . but it does not go out! For the past few days I have been looking at my surroundings and asking, “Why have you placed me here Lord?” I question, not out of complaint, but out of a genuine desire to understand God’s purpose. I want to fully participate in his plan of salvation.
God is delivering me from the dead life by causing me to die completely to self. I know, weird right. But, think about this, when a surgeon is doing a heart surgery they most often stop your heart in order to repair or replace what isn’t working. God operates on our bodies in much the same way.
In this valley of the shadow of death, God is removing all fear. I have some hardcore fleshly reflexes that hinder my spirit from living life to the fullest. God is using my near death experiences to open my eyes to the power that heaven has here on earth, right now.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven . . . (Lord’s prayer)
I’ve said that phrase almost 2,000 times since my birth and I only have a cursory understanding of its meaning. I’ve met men and women who bridge the divide of heaven and earth. I’ve witnessed their discipline and drive towards obedience to the Lord’s will. This is not just a “because he is Jesus” prayer! He invited his disciples into heaven’s activities, which means that it is possible for the rest of us. There is no elite Christian team! We are all ragamuffins, capable of bringing down giants when we die to self and live for Christ.
Lord, reveal heaven to me and may I have the eyes to see your glory on earth. Amen!

 

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Note to My Readers

Posted January 25, 2016 | Karisa Moore

I was hospitalized on Saturday with Pulmonary Embolism (fancy talk for blood clots in the lungs.) I am doing much better today and will probably be released once they get my meds established.

I praise God for each breath I am given! I encourage you to breathe deeply and live life to the fullest, it is a precious gift given to each of us.

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Sin Repellent, Not to Christ

Posted | Karisa Moore

Daniel got caught sneaking a brownie after I told him no more sweets. When I confronted him he cursed the brownie for making him eat it, then he cursed Satan, then he cursed Adam and Eve for their original sin. Finally, when he realized that none of those were responsible he put his hand up, turn and said, “Get away from me Mom, I’m sinful.”

Oh, dear reader you may standing there with your hand up to Christ declaring, “Leave me, get away from me, I am too far gone, I am beyond repair, I am unworthy of love. Christ, You are too pure and holy to eat at my table, or come into my home.”

Instead of repelling God, he draws close to us!  Example after example of a Jesus response to sinners recorded in scripture. He ate with tax collectors (IRS), allowed prostitutes and those cast outside the city gates to touch him. Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples participated in a Jesus miracle, and he realized that the only reason that there were fish now flopping around in his empty boat was Jesus. Luke 5:8 But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man,, O Lord!”

We don’t have to guess how Jesus responds to our sin filled lives, scripture spells it out. vs. 10 “And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not fear, from now on you will be catching men.” In this moment Jesus does not address Peter’s dirty laundry, he goes after his fear. We Christians really need to take note of this! The Pharisees approached sin with the mindset: Get clean first, which is impossible, and then we will allow you in. Too often this is our approach to the those who, like Peter, already know they are broken. Jesus offers different criteria: Follow me.

That is how God approached me. “Follow me and all of these other things will be added to you! Let me show the possibilities of your life in relationship with mine. Don’t be afraid, today I call you to follow me and I will teach you to catch men.”  None of us is beyond his redemption. So . . . come follow me reader and let me open your eyes to the FACT that nothing is impossible for Him.

 

 

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From Cover to Cover

Posted January 1, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

(Special thanks to my cousin, for reminding me of my grandmother’s yearly commitment to reading through the Bible and the words falling afresh on her mind in each year of reading.)

Genesis 1-3

  1. Repeatedly God looks at what is created and observes that it was good, and his final conclusion, very good. (Genesis 1)
    • If it was very good, does that mean the possibility of being bad?
    • Only one thing was not good. “for man to be alone”(Genesis 2)
    • Is it possible that God himself was the light of the world before day 4?
  2. We are to be stewards of every plant and living creature that he has given to us.
    • How am I cultivating a sense of wonder and respect for nature?
  3. I hadn’t noticed before that God “planted” the garden in Eden. He didn’t speak it into existence. (Genesis 2)
  4. No rain. God watered the earth through mist.
  5. God established the boundaries of all things.
  6. The first thing that we noticed when our eyes were opened was that we were naked. We went from no shame to feeling shame for our bodies that God created. (Genesis 3)
  7. Isn’t it interesting that in their eyes being opened to good and evil, that Eve acknowledges that the serpent had deceived her.

Matthew 1

  1. God walked on earth, intimately interacted with his creation from the beginning. He did again through his son Jesus, and he is with us now through the Holy Spirit. The very same Holy Spirit that conceived a child in Mary and rested upon the disciples!
    • Do I live in this power?
  2. God used some pretty rough characters to bring Jesus into the world. Can I see God’s hand in the heritage and lineage of my family?

My Utmost for his Highest

 

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When Digging a Trench, Assemble Your Team

Posted December 24, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Ecclesiastes 4:7Again, I saw vanity under the sun: 8one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.

9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Shoveling snow would not have surprised me on December 23rd. Digging a trench to save our basement from flooding, however, was not on my Christmas list. We were in the path of the storm today thanks to El Nino. While we didn’t get the gloom and doom that weathercasters had been threatening us with all day, we did get heavy rains.

We had planned to go see the Peanuts movie tonight, but Daniel wasn’t feeling up to going so we set up shop in the basement. As the rain came down harder I began to be concerned about our window, a weak point in our backyard swamp. When we looked out the water was about three inches up the window.

We went into problem solving mode. Shovels, siphon, buckets, and building a damn. Think we have done this before? The kids begged for a job so we let them pick up the clods of dirt and carry it over to the weak point. Within a half an hour the window well was cleared, our trench pulled water away from the window, and four very wet and muddy humans trudged inside to get cleaned up.

It was amazing! I love my family and it is wonderful what we accomplish when we work together. Do you have your ditch digging team assembled? God did not create us to go it alone. Reach out to those around you. If you don’t have friends or family, begin the steps to develop friendships. You will make mistakes, pick yourself up and try again. My life changed drastically when I stopped being dominated by my fear of rejection. As I began to fall in love with Jesus, loving others became easier. Scripture is filled to the brim with fellowship. And if you see others who are isolated, reach into their world and be present with them. You don’t know what trenches they might be having to dig.

Blessings upon you this Christmas!

Your friend,

Karisa

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Betrayed by the body

Posted December 9, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Lamentations:320Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.…

Matthew 26:38Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”

 

Sometimes our body betrays our attempts at escaping depression. Chronic pain, chronic insomnia, chronic stress all break down our body. In other words, our body comes into agreement with depression. So when we begin to change our thinking and our actions the body doesn’t always respond, sometimes because of physical illness it will never be able to respond and at times it out and out rebels.

I often joke that I’m so used to chaos that panic ensues when I experience something normal. Anyone who has ever had an addiction can attest to the war between the body and new habits. Caffeine withdraw can cause headaches, because our body becomes used to caffeine and craves it. Our body can crave depression.

Don’t lose heart when the body doesn’t respond to hope or new habits of acting in faith. Keep forming new ways of thinking, interact with humanity because it IS the right thing to do, not because it feels right. Do what is good, even if the body betrays you.

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You Drew Me In

Posted December 8, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Giggles and crayons melted

the distance between our sorrow.

Sketched out souls, framed together

in a mosaic moment of

play.

I miss him echoed

in our quiet parallel

expressions of color.

Each grieving, uniquely

united by the unquiet outline

of our circumstances.

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Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/