Search Results for: hope

Healing to Your Flesh and Refreshment to Your Bones

Posted August 13, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Proverbs 3:3Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4So you will find favor and good successa
in the sight of God and man.

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
7Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your fleshb
and refreshmentc to your bones.

As I type the sun is streaming through my window, greeting me with the joy of my heavenly father. For this first year I have felt crushed by my circumstances. My goal of grieving with hope constantly weighed down by my lack of trust in God’s ways. Last night I turned a difficult corner. My sorrow, doubts and fears lay on the altar ready at last to submit to God’s will. He will produce glory from my son’s death. There is no more question mark. I can relax into his purpose because it is no longer at odds with my purpose. I want what he wants, not the other way around. “He is not a tame lion, but he is good.” (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) I can trust his goodness even if his ways are not my ways.

I cannot emphasis enough that this has come about through meditating on scripture. The verses that I have been reading since Jonathan’s death establish God’s sovereignty in my circumstances, his foundation of love, his goodness and that his will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Romans 8 helped me to determine that I want the Spirit of life to control me, not my sinful nature.

Now it is a matter of walking in the light of his path that he makes straight for me. He will show me where to go, and equip me to get there. Following his ways and leaning not on my own understanding will be healing to my body and refreshment to my bones.

Proverbs 3 My Role and God’s Role

Me

  • remember the love and faithfulness God has shown me
  • meditate upon examples of his character
  • be loving and faithful
  • love God with my whole heart, leaning on my own understanding results in half-hearted attempts
  • acknowledging God in all my ways leaves no room for selfish ambition, no maverick off-roading
  • remember that the results are his not mine
  • respect and honor the Lord’s sovereignty in every situation and see evil as opposing counsel

God

  • gives favor and success with God and man
  • straightens out my path
  • heals my body and refreshes my bones
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Sowing in Tears = a Joyful Harvest

Posted July 28, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 126:6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

I dreamed about Jonathan last night. We were so excited to see him, but I knew it was only temporary so I invited everyone to visit him, hug him and we loved and laughed deeply together. It felt so good to see him, healthy, happy and whole. And then I quietly said my good-bye and turned away releasing the memory of him to where I now know it belongs.

There is such a shift in my heartache. It well never leave me, but there is an acceptance that I’m different and becoming a better person not in spite of the anguish of loss, but as a result of. How many years do we spend running from the painful things in our lives? If you are like me, our past is littered with brokenness. It can be so easy to slip into a cycle of short-sightedness and forget that God sows seeds through generations. Sometimes we sow tears for many years, but oh the harvest we reap when we do not give up!

Joseph, from the Old Testament, sowed tears for just shy of 20 years, before he saw his dream fulfilled. And Israel would later sow tears for 400 years before they were freed from slavery. The whole world had to wait for thousands of years before the promised Messiah would come and free us from the consequences of sin. Jesus sowed in tears. I am a part of his harvest.

Why does a good and loving God operate this way? Why does he allow pain and suffering? Why do we have to sow in tears? What if I told you WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW HAS THE POWER FOR THE REDEMPTION OF MANY! Would you believe me? Would you keep sowing in the midst of your depression? There are many witnesses who have gone before me to testify that there most painful times were when they drew the closest to Christ, grew in belief and action, and began to anticipate a larger harvest. I have seen first hand God’s hand move in the lives plagued by deepest despair (cancer, divorce, death of a husband or child, natural disaster). In Psalm 126, the psalmist is celebrating the restoration of Israel’s fortunes and he shares three crucial elements that are true in the deepest, darkest moments we go through. 1.We will be filled with joy and laughter again. 2. The Lord is aware of our planting. 3. We will reap and the nations will take notice of the difference in us

This is at the core of grieving with hope!

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Archer’s Paradox

Posted July 16, 2015 | Karisa Moore

On our own, the miracle of belief misses the bullseye.

Our arrogant eyes, religiously taking aim

at flesh, with log or spec setting

off truth’s perfect course to the heart.

And nature reveals the gravity of our sin—friction

setting law against law,

pulling faith to the ground.

Words fail to hit their aim; faulty

and misshapen by the stiff spine of intent,

but, flexing improves our accuracy.

And three fletching feathers (love, faith, and hope)

gives the necessary rotation

So that life doesn’t plane out of control.

And the word hits its mark every time.

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Opressed but not Hopless!

Posted July 10, 2015 | Karisa Moore

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:1-4, KJV

Feeling attacked today! My entire family awoke with some sort of physical ailment, my husband’s the most serious. What is it about our family that makes the enemy is so oppressive? Is that I’m talking to you? Is it that we are taking a stand against his demonic forces? Is he that threatened by hope, by you readers turning your own pages!?

If Satan (he who shall not be named), the enemy of all that God has created can grasp us in the pit of despair, especially our children, what chain reaction does he cause? As I study depression I realize that there are many examples of men and women who chose to offer hope. Abraham Lincoln suffered from debilitating headaches, depression, abuse experienced as a child, and incredible loss. Yet he chose to turn his page again and again. He said,

A tendency to melancholy . . . let it be observed, is a misfortune not a fault.”

Winston Churchill, who also struggled with despair, called his depression a “black dog”.

We are in a dangerous place when we turn from fighting for life to assisting death. Death will come, none of us can stop that, but as I drove home the other night, with the darkest of thoughts hounding my broken heart, a single thought shimmered in my darkness. What does living do, that death does not? Living means my children smile another day, living means I write these words to you and offer hope in the midst of your darkest moments. Living means I shout from whatever platform that I am given. “I will not quit!”

So I turn the page.

Today is hard, but you, Lord give me enough to be present with my husband and children. To comfort them, to bind their wounds, and offer hope to those plagued by darkness. There is a declaration that needs to be spoken, a painting that needs its artist, a war against Satan’s forces that needs to be won by an army that won’t quit, and a soul that needs hope when all seems lost. You, reader, are that person. Keep turning your page.

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This I Recall: Remembering God in My Sorrow

Posted June 29, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Lamentations 3:20Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22The LORD’S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.…”Who we remember determines what we remember.” Can’t remember where I read that quote, but it has stayed with me. . It is not my son’s suicide that defines my life, but Jesus Christ. He is who I remember today, and it changes July 1st for me in a way that nothing else can.

I literally feel you praying for me today. From the moment that I awoke I felt a joy that makes 0 sense on the cusp of my son’s death. Therefore I recall:

  • God’s breathtaking pursuit of me in the midst of my rebellion
  • That he wooed me with a tiny little heart beat that promised life in the midst of my depravity
  • That God was my husband, father to my son, and my daddy all rolled into one as I stumbled into faith and motherhood
  • The mystery and beauty of my “little” 10lb 10oz Jonathan (Gift of God) as I cradled him in my arms for the first time
  • The joy of taking shape with Jonathan
  • Endless hours of Lego creations, car racing, and baseball games
  • Laughter, oh the deep and joy filled laughter
  • Watching Jonathan’s personality, his faith, his love and compassion blossom
  • Dreaming big
  • New adventures
  • Even in the midst of my heartbreak last year I find God present in the words left on my son’s Facebook wall, in the living room filled with prayer, and in the miracle of scripture, prayer, tears, teens, horses, writing, and planting seeds of hope

Thank you Jesus!

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My Spiritual Tool Box: What do I Use When Grief Overwhelms Me?

Posted May 29, 2015 | Karisa Moore

As I awoke this morning I was immediately hit with going over ever last minute detail leading up to Jonathan’s death. It is in these moments that I pull out every tool in my tool box.

Prayer: Lord, you know that my heart’s longing is for Jonathan to be here–to live. Please Lord, fill me with your love. Direct my mind to what is doable for me today. May you be enough for me. Amen.

Scripture: Lamentations 3:31For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. 32Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. 33For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.

Romans 8:31What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

John 16:22So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. 23In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

Fellowship: Headed into the office to work. . . bringing Daniel’s joke book. 😉

Witnessing: I share with you my grief, my hope, and my God with you today. May you find comfort in your afflictions, hope in your grief, and love and compassion for those around you.

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Embracing Suffering as a Ransom for Many

Posted May 27, 2015 | Karisa Moore

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:18-25 NIV

Turning My Page

Embracing suffering requires us to accept that God subjected all of creation to futility and frustration. When my son was three he would say, “You got me in trouble,” as my husband and I disciplined him for disobedience. In those moments Daniel forgot that we loved him, he forgot we wanted good things for him, and he didn’t understand the purpose of our saying no. We frustrated his plans.

I don’t tend to struggle so much with rejecting discipline when I have done something wrong, but sometimes good plans, plans of following Jesus and living life to the fullest have been frustrated,  not of my own making. This was a stumbling block for me growing up and still trips me up as an adult. I was abused, neglected, and experienced injustice after injustice. Now, I have lost a son, a son that turned me to God. What kind of God allows this kind of suffering for a daughter that he loves?

Paul tried to make clear that the suffering we experience (whether a believer in Jesus or not) is so that we can be free from death (a consequence of sin) and made alive through Jesus. This can be extremely hard to accept for three reasons:

  • It is the complete opposite of our worldly thinking
  • No one wants to suffer, and
  • We don’t always see immediate results in our suffering.

I think that if I do good, such as raise Jonathan as a Godly mother, I should receive good outcomes.

Turning Your Page

How often do we say, “I deserve this?” TV commercials dangle their items and encourage us that we deserve whatever item they are selling. If God gave us what we deserve it would be death, an eternal separation from him. (Romans 3:23) I forget that Jesus was perfect and we crucified him. If doing good was enough for our salvation then he should not have been put to death.

So if the son of God wasn’t spared suffering, then maybe my definition of suffering needs to change. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” God prepared me for Jonathan’s death (my current suffering) with this verse. I don’t know about you, but I tend to bristle when people throw out this verse when we suffer. I can tell the difference when someone clearly knows and believes what they are saying and when someone is just spouting something that sounds good. THIS IS A CRUCIFICTION BELIEF! I am saying that I believe that everything that I have experienced, the abuse as a child, the despair as a teen, the suicide of my son works to glorify God! That has to be a core transformation because it goes against my desire for self-preservation. God even uses fleas; just ask Corrie ten Boom who scoffed when her sister praised God for the fleas. God doesn’t use fleas for his glory! She found out later that the prison guards did not interfere with the bible-study that she and her sister led with the other prisoners because they did not want to get fleas. (The Hiding Place) Not a single bit of our experiences are wasted.

We need to look no further for an example of struggle with suffering than the Rich Young Ruler. For the disciples Mark 10 is a lynch pin moment. The rich young ruler runs up and bows to Jesus. He calls Jesus “Good Teacher”. And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone.” Already we can see that his thinking is not the same as Jesus’ on what constitutes goodness. 18The rich young ruler wants to know what he must do to inherit the kingdom of heaven. They run down the list of the 10 commandments and the young man has to be getting excited, because he has kept those commands. But, wait there is more! Jesus tells the rich young ruler, whom he loves mind you, “Sell everything you have, give it all to the poor, come follow me and store up treasures in heaven.” The rich young ruler loses heart and leaves because he has great wealth. Jesus, thinking is the complete opposite of the young ruler, as well as the disciples. Jesus tells the disciples that wealth cannot save us. “We have left everything to follow you.” The disciples say. They might as well have said, “We have left everything, because we thought you were going to make us rich.” The cup that Jesus drinks from is one of suffering! The rich young ruler was going to have to trade in his “tangible” results for the intangible, not yet seen results in heaven!!! Many walk away from Jesus today for this very same reason. I’m first to admit that I often struggle with a desire for immediate results in my obedience to God!

When my focus is on the immediate results that I think that I should obtain, such as I accepted Jesus, I turned my life around, I raised Jonathan as a godly mother . . . I, I, I . . . should have a son that succeeds in life and does not die. You owe me God for all that I sacrificed to follow you. This thinking is small, whereas God’s is so much bigger!!! Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” My current suffering, the loss of my son will be to God’s glory! What if the suicide rate, the hopelessness felt by so many turns around because God allowed this suffering in my life? I know it is hard for us to embrace the truth that God works even horrid things in our life to his glory, but I have seen way too many examples of that occurring to dismiss it as “Christian silliness”. Not the least of which is the Son of God, being mocked, lashed, and crucified by men and women wanting immediate results from this supposed king! Only to have Jesus turn the tables on death and save those very same people who put him on the cross. Over 2000 years later my faith is a result of Jesus’ suffering. I am grateful that God caused all of creation to be frustrated in sin, so that I now have hope that is not limited by circumstances and that I can offer that same hope to you.

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My Birthday Wish

Posted May 24, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Tally marks flickering in the darkness

Waiting for my wish . . .

 

For regrets to be extinguished and

joy to sing once more.

For sweet icing to be a delightful treat,

not a heavy poison of despair.

 

To surprise people with my flavor–

Strawberries snuck between living layers,

Moist with love, faith, and hope.

Giving fresh perspective to a new year

Of breathing in and out, a daily present opened faithfully.

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Posted May 18, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’ ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.'”

The water bill almost undid me last night. I have had a really good week since Mother’s Day and have been swimming confidently out to uncharted waters with Christ.

Brian excitedly stated, “I don’t know how, but our water bill dropped this year.”

It took me a moment to realize why . . . “We don’t have a teenager using the water.” I quietly responded. Suddenly I was deeply weary. The busy week had not drained me, the amazing time with teenagers at the ranch had not brought me to my spiritual knees, and several days of not sleeping had not disabled me. No, it was a water bill. I wanted to disappear in that moment, not feel the grief that poured into my soul. I’d give anything to do Jonathan’s laundry or hear him singing from the shower as he got ready for school.

I realized that the best thing for me to do was to head on to bed. Nothing good was going to come from me sitting there dwelling on my heartache. I heard a woman wisely say, she set a consistent pattern of going to bed when her kids do, because she realized that anything past that time that her flesh was weakened.

Again I did not sleep well, but this morning I sought the Lord’s face and reread Matthew 5:4. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” He gives me comfort through scripture, laughter with a friend, my husband and kids, as well as the discipline of writing this blog. Just to name a few. Tapping these resources today I clearly see that in less than a year there is a transition happening. The days of deep anguish are becoming . . . well . . . moments. Why? Developing discipline (just about a curse word for some of us), is shutting the door on death, and opening the roof for unfathomable faith, hope, and love. The more I experience these gifts, the more I long for them to finish their work.

Oh, my sweet son, you are experiencing these three things with Jesus! May I be a witness of that indestructible abundant life, promised on this side of heaven. May I grasp ahold and be strengthened by the truth that nothing is impossible for God. Amen.

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Praising the Lord is not Pie in the Sky Mentality

Posted May 16, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 34:1-3

1I will extol the Lord at all times;

his praise will always be on my lips.

2I will glory in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

3Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt his name together.

There is something amazing that happens when I extol the Lord in the midst of my affliction. My whole demeanor and outlook change. I have shifted from the impossible to all things are possible with God. Extol means  to “lift up”. Good grief, I do not feel like lifting up anything or any one in the midst of my sorrow! I feel like shaking my fists at God and saying why did you take my son. I feel like ripping down others. I cannot tolerate God, others or myself.

When I extol, praise, glorify, rejoice, and exalt the character of God, I am acknowledging that he gave me his son! I am remembering that my hope lies in Him alone. I am recalling to mind all that he has done for me. Extol is not a pie in the sky mentality, it is an in the trenches, my circumstances suck, but I have a resource like no other discipline! David is praising God in this Psalm, in the aftermath of pretending that he was crazy to escape Abimelech. David wasn’t on his throne living the good life when he spoke these words; he was running for his life.

The Latin word for extol is tollere, which is also where we get our word tolerate. I can tolerate so much more in the light of God’s love for me, his sacrifice, and his perfect will for my life. I will extol the Lord at all times!

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Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/