Things are a bit raw between my husband and I right now. When struggling with grief it can get easier to slip back into old habits or lash out at those you love. So how in the world do we keep perspective in our hurt and anger, and remember that the other person is in grief and process too? Here are some verses that may help:
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city.
Ephesians 4:25-31 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27and give no opportunity to the devil. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Ephesians 4:1-3 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
If we have unity of the Spirit then when we hurt others in that unit we also are hurting ourselves. In the military a unit fights as one. If there is strife, and anger towards one another then your guard is down to the real enemy.
Brian and I learned early in our marriage that as long as we looked at each other as the enemy that we would get no where. But, as we began allowing Christ to be the center of our lives and marriage we began to become a unit, placing the problems outside of each other and crushing the devil’s schemes together.
Thank you Lord for giving me these verses to calm my wounded soul and give me a renewed focus on who I am fighting. The devil wants to crush both Brian and I. Give me the strength to guard his heart and mind as he heals from the wounds of losing Jonathan. Keep my tongue from coming into agreement with the devil. Amen
2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
My family fasts from electronics on Sunday morning. Trust me, this is no small feet with a 7 1/2 year old who seems to have come out of the womb with a love for electronics. So you will often get my Sunday post, Saturday evenings or Sunday afternoons.
My family just returned from a property blessing. First one that we have ever been to. Our friends are purchasing 55 acres to turn into a working horse farm for those with both mental and physical handicaps. The whole ceremony was amazing, but I was especially struck by what the father, who was given the vision, shared about the former owners. Both previous owners had experienced deep loss and pain on the property. He didn’t want to just look to the future of the property, he wanted to understand its past and invite healing to the land and its owners.
Sometimes we cannot help the pain we inherit in the land sewn by our families. We are passed pain filled property and it may seem impossible for anything to grow. We have to acknowledge the pain and allow God to make the soil fertile for a new harvest.
At moments it is hard to see how God can bring anything fruitful out of my son’s suicide. But, many of the pages I turn make it clear that though I outwardly grieve, God is preparing the soil of my heart to plant new seeds. He cares about my pain and is blessing my life.