i didn’t know this
was my starting place
until You ended my suffering.
This yanking war of soul and flesh
Soothed to peace by Your sacrifice.
I became a fledgling paragraph developing purpose
in the womb of just one word
hope
Posts Tagged: depression
Numbers 6:25 The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; 26The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.’Â
Playing dress up was not on my agenda yesterday. I have been battling a cold that is moving in and picking out curtains. To say I was miserable yesterday is an understatement . . . I was even second guessing going out on the planned date with my husband.
But, grandparents arrived to watch the kids and I prepared to leave, such as I am. . . enter Natalie. “Can I pick out your dress?” Dress . . . I was doing well to get out of the house in jeans and a nicer shirt. But, sigh, who can resist a pretty little redhead with big brown eyes who just got to be her daddy’s princess at the Father-Daughter Dance. So dress up it is.
Dancing the night away!
A funny thing happened when I put on the dress. I perked up. I laughed and was more in the mood to go out. Not even daddy escaped the wardrobe fairy. He was transformed into dress pants, my favorite of his blue shirts and a tie put it all together. We even took a picture, just as she and he did for their dance. All because a little girl expected elegance for our date.
There is something about putting on a different attitude in the circumstances we are in that can help change the course and pattern of our lives. When we put on grace, forgiveness, or gratitude that can replace the rags of depression, hatred, and unforgiveness. It doesn’t just happen. We must grab those downward spiraling thoughts and pull them back up out of the pit. Sometimes we need someone to come in and say, ‘You aren’t going out dressed like that!’
Keep those smiles looking good.
Make a date this week and then dress, not based on feelings, but on the event planned for.
Some suggestions that perk me up:
- A hike in the woods
- Out with your spouse
- Coffee with a friend
- Trampoline with kids (impossible not to giggle)
- A local band
- Photography
- Art class
- Surprise me
I would love to hear how your date went. What did you talk about? Where did you go? What was your favorite moment? Did you find your countenance improved?
Luke 12:22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Dear Page Turners,
A little goldfinch visited today. I am quite sure she was at my window a year ago, her strange behavior the same. She is more interested in what is going on inside our house than anything outside. She sits, looking directly at me, tilting her head. Then she lands on the sill to get a closer look. Neither the barking dog, nor the kids frighten her away.
She is a love note from God. Love notes are moments when God does something that wows me! I’ve received many of them throughout the years, but this was extra special because it reached through the haze I walk through these days and stirred my heart. My problems are deep and many layered, but God’s is faithful.
She sat there looking at and declaring with every little twitch of her head. “He loves you, he values you, and he is providing for you.” She spent about an hour with me her last visit, but I easily dismissed the visit as a passing “interesting” moment until she returned today.
How quickly I can forget He loves me, when the mess of the years problems seem insurmountable. Having her suddenly appear as I walked into the office took my breath away. God knew I needed to be reminded of hope. He knew that I was struggling in my exhaustion to even look for his many provisions for my family. So he made his promise clear through my little feathered example.
Are you soured by circumstances? Cynical about the knowledge that God is good, because all you see and feel is bad? Frantically scrambling to fix whatever is wrong in your life? Come to the window with me. Look at a little bird whose only thought today was to serve her master in a big way.
May I be that little bird for you. Tapping on your heart to remind you that God sees and values you, and he is very much in the midst of your loneliness, your despair, and your prayers!
Love,
Karisa
2 Corinthians 5:21 God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. 6 For at just the right time, while we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 It is rare indeed for anyone to die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.…
When was the last time you fought dirty for the one’s you love? Or for an enemy? I’m not talking cheating, I am talking about getting dirt under the nails, sweating, and digging deep into all you’ve got and then giving some more. Valuing that spouse who has hurt you deeply. Treating the bully at work with kindness. Fighting dirty is not based upon changed behavior, it is deeply rooted in who Christ is in us!
We love because he first loved us. God didn’t just give us a list of do’s and don’ts, pat us on the back, and send us on our way. He was and is involved in creation! So much so, that at just the right time, while we were still sinning he came to earth in the form of a human child. He experienced sweat, he had splinters in his skin, and scars on his back from loving us. He knew our struggle with temptation. He knew we were oppressed, and he knew our depression. He fought dirty for us!!
Depression, suicide, hopelessness is a dark and dingy place, because hopelessness is wrapped in lies about our identity and the character of God. I was once smothered in those lies. My son died in those lies. How do we counter such a devious and destructive attack that often begins when we are children?! We battle by getting to know the character of God and acting on the hope he offers to us.
I didn’t know God. Scripture is like sitting across from God and hearing him tell his side of the story. Prayer is a constant conversation (both speaking and listening) with God. Fellowship with other in process believers encourages, challenges, and brings me out of my shell. This is my foundation. As a result, I can’t sit idly by and put on blinders to the suffering of others. I have my hands in the dirt of humanity. Be all in because God was all in for us!
Let me know your story in the comments. How can I fight dirty for you!?
Forecast called for blistering blues . . .
Shame soaked in a raging torrent of emotions,
I put on defiant dancing shoes and
shaped prolific pools of hopelessness into
a halo of dancing rainbows.
Until bones broke to life and support the
impossible flesh of my reality.
Writing Prompt: Downcast or Upcast
Psalm 43:5 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.
Seems like there are an awful lot of words to describe depressed, but not a lot to describe the opposite . . .what is the opposite of depressed? Come up with words that reflect an “upcast” attitude and create a poem. Attach your page link in the comments and let’s cast a brighter light on depression.
Writing Prompt: Downcast or Upcast
Rocks crumble encouraging
gravity to finish thought.
But truth, confident with gritty fingers,
belays novice climbers
Reaching for impossible sunrises.
I attempted to stuff my depression into the racks of the church coatroom before
straightening my face into a well pressed smile.
You, who did not hide your sorrow from your Father,
had the usher bring my cloak of despair back to me.
Shoulders drooped as I slipped into the putrid pew of religious repetition
believing faith wasn’t ready to share my coarse reality. But scripture shook me
awake. The world needs my tears, struggle, and depression.
Believers sing the blues too.
I confess, I struggle to accept Your ways.
Bones, broken with grief, scream to give in.
But, You give sanctuary to my lament.
Questions are met with open goodness.
I am reminded, God put on the cloak of humanity
to understand me.
And, when I wear depression into the sanctuary,
It is an open invitation for others to be real with You.
Scripture: Lamentations 3:22 The LORD’S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.24“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.”…
Thoughts:Â How do you turn the page on the hardest days of your life? In three years I have learned:
- Pray
- Be with family and friends
- Pre-prepare
- Hydrate
- Laugh
- Remember
- Praise
- Be present in today (pain, tears, joy, love, all is useful to God)
- Notice blessings
- Encourage others
Prayer:Â Lord, you are faithful in my sorrow today as I turn the page on the tragedy of Jonathan’s death, and another year begins. May others learn, live, love and grow because they see your presence in our lives. I find joy today because you are faithful. Thank you that Brian journeys through grief with me. Â Laughter is not distant because you have given me Daniel and Natalie. Thank you for time with friends this afternoon. I feel pain, but know it does not last. Your love, instead is eternal! Amen
Suicide doesn’t water down my faith with
flowery prose about God.
I take my doubts to the mat and wrestle
with who I believe Him to be.
Depression is the resistance between
my will and Yours being done.
Sacrifice, daily dripping with sweat,
works out belief on the gym floor of reality.
 Muscles cry out at the strain of discipline.
But still you coach me beyond what
I think I can reach. “Just one more breath!”
Shaping and toning my soul into your image.
Turning heads with a foxy endurance
that is not of this world!
National Suicide Hotline
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/