faith Archives - Page 19 of 21 - Turning the Page on Suicide

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Turning the Page on Saturday: Embracing the Resurrection power of Sunday

Posted April 5, 2015 | Karisa Moore

“It is Only for the Weekend” was the sermon title at my in-laws church. God, who is not limited, doesn’t even operate in the limits of time, takes our circumstances whether good or bad and declares that they are temporary. Even death is now an unpredictable outcome for those who believe.

On our drive home Brian and I agreed that the heartache of missing Jonathan sure didn’t feel like only a weekend. “Feels like we are stuck on Saturday.” Brian said. Maybe your circumstances are like ours and you feel stuck in pain, your job, your life, your loss. The resurrection hasn’t happened or become an active part of our thinking, living,Â and dying.Â We are confused and reeling from plans not of our own making. We want to hide away, cry out, shake our fist at a God for allowing such agony into our lives. We would not map out the same path.

This is exactly how the disciples behaved after the crucifixion, the Romans guarded the tomb just in case the disciples tried to steal the body. They needn’t worry–the disciples were stuck on Saturday. When they started getting reports that Jesus was alive, most of the 12Â did not go running to the tomb to confirm that it was empty and that Christ was indeed resurrected. They were in disbelief, and that was where they were likely going to stay if Jesus himself hadn’t walked through the door. I mean that literally, he waked through the closed and locked door.

Does Jesus have to walk through the closed and locked door of my heart for me to accept that his plan for my future is a good one? Or do I declare with my hands open to the heavens “BUT, SUNDAY!” The resurrection isn’t just an event that happened in history, it happens today when believers see the risen Christ in their lives and are transformed.

Lord, open my mind, heart, and soul to Sunday and help me to Turn the Page on Saturday! Amen.

Love is a State of Being Not a State of Doing

Posted April 4, 2015 | Karisa Moore

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4.Â ____________is patient and kind;Â ___________ does not envy or boast;Â __________ is not arrogant 5or rude.Â __________ does not insist on its own way;Â ___________ is not irritable or resentful;^b 6Â ___________does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7___________ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8___________ never fails.

Put your name in the blank.

1 Corinthians 13 is known as the love chapter and is often quoted at weddings. But, what would happen if we put our name in the place of love? After all God is love. (1 John 4:8) How would it change us if we could say that love is not something that we do, but our state of being. Our very DNA is made of love!

There seems to be a clear shift in the disciples because they experienced first hand the love of God, through Jesus Christ.Â My first experience with God, he opened my eyes toÂ his love forÂ me.Â I could now see it in creation, in those around me, in scripture, in worship.Â The reason why scripture speaks ofÂ putting on our new selves is that love changes us, how we interact with the world, how we see ourselves and others.Â When someone lovesÂ at this level it is head turning!

So much ofÂ how we love is based upon what we do, not who we are.

Do you do romantic things for your spouse?

Do you speak kind words?

Do you provide encouragement for others?

Do you serve others?

Do you give to the poor?

Do you share your faith?

Paul is challenging the believer to stop doing, and start being love! Putting my name in the place where love is causes me to stop striving and start abiding in the love of Christ. Love does not just go out it is always comingÂ in through our relationship with Jesus. Only then can we be love, rather then a to do list.

A Debt I Cannot Pay: Showing mercy when I am owed a debt

Posted March 31, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Matthew 18:35 This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

Question: How many times should I forgive?

Answer: As many times as it takes for you to realize that I forgave you first. (Karisa paraphrase)

(Matthew 18:21-35 Parable of the Unmerciful Servant)

As I step towards forgiving those who hurt my son,Â the first thing I am reminded of is that God chose to forgive me. Somewhere in the midst of court hearings, bad counseling, and heart ache I lost sight of the awe that God forgive me. I saw awe, because that is what I felt in the beginning. God loved me and forgave me a debt I could not repay. Little by little pride took over and now I have to repent of thoughts that I am somehow better than those who have caused my great sorrow.Â I am a liar, an adulterer, idol worshipper, thief and many other things that God poured out mercy over. At the heart of un-forgiveness is pride!

It easy to pick and choose who we want to see punished when their sins are unhidden, but scripture clearly states that ALL have fallen short of the glory of God and the punishment for sin is death. (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23) Romans 6:23. In Jesus’ Matthew 18:21 parable heÂ gives insight to how heaven treats forgiveness.

God settles his account with all of us (vs. 23)
He is just and will demand us to repay what we owe him (vs. 24)
We all have a debt we cannot repay (vs. 25)
It is God’s decision whether or not to extend us grace (vs. 27)
He will not tolerate us squandering his mercy (vs.32)
He expects us to be merciful to those who owe us debt they cannot repay because he forgave our debt (vs33)
We are to forgive the sins of others from our heart (vs. 35)

In a world that emphasis revenge, forgiveness and mercy is unusual! Oh Lord make me unusual!

Christians, MacGyvers of Faith: Using our God given Resources in all circumstances

Posted March 30, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Christians are “MacGyvers”. Doubt me? Check out Acts 16 for an action packed escape from prison. PauI and Silas blew up the gates with hymens and prayer.

Today, I started re-watching MacGyver, one of my favorite shows as a kid. He got out of some pretty tight spots and saved the day a lot. I used to wish that I could create things out of gum, paperclips, string and of course, his trusty Swiss Army Knife. As a Christian, I too have to use the resources at hand, to get through trials. Paul says, “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.” (Philippians 4:12)â€‹ Sometimes my faith leads me on missions that test the limits of what is humanly possible. The loss of my precious son on this earth, certainly qualifies. Turning the Page on Suicide, my mission, won’t be solved in an hour. I am having to use everything that God has taught me, and acknowledge where I am weak. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

My toolkit includes:

Bible

Prayer

Church

Experiences

Holy Spirit

Brothers and Sisters in Christ

You could say that my Swiss Army Knife is the Bibleâ€”useful for teaching, correcting, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. (2 Tim 3:16) My gum and paperclips are the experiences I have of God’s faithfulness, and prayer is my life-line in all situations. But, unlike MacGyver, I never work alone. The Holy Spirit guides me to the tools that I need, and is currently helping me in the circumstances of being a survivor of suicide. God is proving himself faithful and that he does not leave me to figure out my plan alone.

So no, I may not have to unstrap myself from a bomb that is about to detonate, but I do have some pretty difficult circumstances to navigate, however long I’m here on earth. Some Christians are called to stand in some pretty hot fiery furnaces. That takes all the resources God has to help me and like MacGyver, I must open my eyes to all the possible tools at my disposal.

Depression, my Jericho Wall: How do I defeat my enemy?

Posted March 11, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Joshua 5:13Â When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, â€œAre you for us, or for our adversaries?â€ 14And he said, â€œNo; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.â€ And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, â€œWhat does my lord say to his servant?â€ 15And the commander of the Lordâ€™s army said to Joshua, â€œTake off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy.â€ And Joshua did so.

The wall! I expect it these days, so I don’t go running into it full force,but sometimes it looms so largeÂ I can’t breathe. I don’t know what caused this wall of depression, maybe starting another round of insomnia,my kids grief, or my own. It is so real I can see it and touch it. I can’t go further, and I refuse to go backwards, so what are my options?

My option is to cry out to my heavenly father! I cannot move, climb over, or go aroundÂ this wall, but he can.Â In collegeÂ I was reading about Joshua in my Navigator Bible; the caption spoke about the ruins of Jericho. The way theÂ stones areÂ positioned it is clear that theÂ walls fell outward, not inward. A mighty force pushed from the inside!

I need a mighty force knocking down the wall of depressionÂ from the inside. If we are in Christ we have a mighty warrior on the inside–the Holy Spirit!

Acts 2:1When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^a as the Spirit enabled them.

Much of what has transpired since the death of my son has been through the Comforter (another name for the Holy Spirit). I thank you father for what you have done, what you are doing, and what you will do. Direct my path so that I may be a living witness to your power and strength over depression. This is my Jericho wall!Â You are a force to be reckoned with and no wall can stand against you.Â Â Maybe you have allowed this wall in my life to show others that nothing is too big for you! Not our doubts, not our fears, not our enemies, not depression–nothing can separate us from your love! Thank you for giving me your peace, that makes absolutely no sense in these circumstances. Teach me to abide in your will no matter where you lead me. Amen!

The Object of Our Agitation

Posted March 9, 2015 | Karisa Moore

My son was very agitated today about surface things that I could see had nothing to do with his anguish. Finally, I heard him sobbing in the other room. “Mommy I can’t stop crying.” I wrapped him up in my arm and rocked him as heÂ continued to talk about the object of his concern, but quickly shifted to crying out for Jonathan. “I miss him so much!” he sobbed.

My heart broke for his grief! Oh Lord, equip me to comfort him. How many of usÂ have those moments,Â we feel anxious about our broken toy, the car that just cut us off, the snow trappingÂ us inside, the phone ringing–all the things that on another day wouldn’t bother us, but today it is just too much. All the time brewing beneath that agitation is real heart ache, longing, brokenness, fear, and sorrow.

Why did God create us with emotions? Emotions tend to squish out in strange ways when we deny them their purpose. I believe that our emotions were created to feel joy, pleasure, interact with each other andÂ ourÂ GodÂ internally and externally–literally to be stirred by God. When the fallÂ occurredÂ our emotions were suddenly stirred by sin, which will always point to us away from God. But, we can learn to lay out our heartache, our pain before his throne so that he can replace our burden with healing. Our emotions always long to be in right relationship with God! Don’t be afraid to lift the veil to reveal your heartache to him, He longs to hold us, and is moved with compassion for our sufferings.Â He may prune away what we think is causingÂ us grief to reveal the root.

If someone around you is agitated about things that don’t seem to match in value do a little gardening. Dig past the surface to the root pain;Â much easier to heal when we correctly identify the source of our anguish. It may just be as simple as being present withÂ your loved oneÂ and listening, but it can make all the difference in the world.

Yielding Peaceful Fruit of Righteousness: The Results of Discipline

Posted March 7, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Hebrews 12:11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

I shared with you that my son Daniel is learning to play the violin. He is a beginner, but shows real signs of a great musical ear. It is a delight to watch him discover his capabilities. This last week I got a front row seat for a transition in him. His teacher was more firm with Daniel and I saw the look on my son’s face. His response could go one of two ways, either he melted down into tears because he perceived he wasn’t getting it right, or he heard what his teacher was really saying. “Daniel you are too talented for me to let you get by with sloppy playing.” I bit my lip and held my breath watching Daniel process his teacher’s constructive criticism.

“So if I was giving my best, we would be further along in the book?” Daniel asked.

“Yes.” His instructor answered.

From that moment forward Daniel focused and they played a beautiful duet to end the session. Daniel has not been the same this week. He is practicing without much prompting, way past the 15 min we had been requiring, and he has even picked up on how to play the intro to the Star Wars Theme Song just by watching another violinist play it on YouTube. There is a joy, and discipline that wasn’t there a week ago.

What is it that you and I need to take more seriously? God has gifted each of us! Have you taken the risk to find out what that gifting is? Seek the heart of our creator to discover who he has made you to be. Like Daniel and I, you may be in the midst of God’s discipline. We are too beautiful, too loved and too talented, not to embrace our calling. Don’t you dare tell me that you have no gift, I’ve tried that same tactic. To be totally honest I squandered my writing abilities, because I feared rejection, lacked discipline, and didn’t want to take risks. God is changing me through Jonathan’s death, and revealing to me how much my unique creative fingerprint matters. I want to give you comfort and hope in the midst of your trials and circumstances, because God created in me a love for words, they are my violin. There is a drive, and urgency in my sharing my story, because God created my gifts for such a time as this!

Suicide Has a Face: Learning to Offer Hope

Posted March 4, 2015 | Karisa Moore

As a survivor of suicide, there is nothing that makes me recoil worse than hearing, “Sometimes there is nothing that you can do, if someone wants to kill themselves then they will find a way.” The speakerÂ is talking about some abstract, undefined person–not my son. Gratefully I have not heard that too many times, but I have heard it. I have not had the strength to respond until now, not out of condemnation, but out of a desire to offer hope and healing to deeply wounded souls and educate those that desire to help.

My son wanted to live! Everything he was doing, everything that he was planning for was to live a long life. Ironically I’d have to say that I would have fit the above statement better than Jonathan. I made repeated attempts on my life, he made one. I am still here because there were people who never stopped offering me hope inÂ little and big ways, no matter what I might do.

That is the thing, the above statement always comes after someone takes their life. I believe that the speaker is trying to understand something too horrific to ever comprehend. Suicide is not something that we will ever be able to stuff into a box and say, this is what it is! I left no note, Jonathan left a note, some suffer from physical causes, others depression. Our suffering may be different, but the one thing that we all need is HOPE!

Don’t ever stop offering it to me, to those around you just because the task seems daunting or impossible. GodÂ is a god of the impossible! Jesus saw our suffering and mourned with us, brought healing, and hope to those that others claimed were without redemption. I will cling to that hope, because in my darkest days it is my sunshine.

Opening Heaven in my Grief

Posted March 3, 2015 | Karisa Moore

The line was 2 and 1/2 hours from the door to the family. I stood there shaking, unsure whether to flee or stay, my own grief deeply moved by the loss of a dear friend. I knew that I was grieving for my son now,Â in a way that I could not at his funeral. The tears kept coming and I finally stopped fighting them. It just is.

Often, I have heard, the things that you are unable to grieve while you in the midst of shock and pain come out in odd places, and this was mine. As we celebrated Mike, I grieved Jonathan. But, I also saw heaven in a different light. The head knowledge that Jonathan was with Jesus became heart knowledge. I felt that Jonathan was with Jesus, because God gave me a glimpse of heaven through the eyes of Stephen, the firstÂ ChristianÂ martyr. Â The whole trip to Huntington my mind was on the story recorded in Acts 7. As Stephen was being stoned to death he declared, â€œBehold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.â€

For the first time IÂ could clearly see that my son was with Jesus! The heavens had opened and Jonathan saw the glory of his heavenly father. Depression clouds our perspective of heaven, we cannot see who we are or whose we are.Â Heaven was not a place that took my son from me, it is the place that received his weary, battered spirit and restored it!

It is God’s will that are sight is restored in our earthly bodies. (Isaiah 61:1-4) I have been with men and women as they were dying, I have seen the difference between those whose eyes are fixed on things above, and those who cannot see past their earthly goods. A dear woman who I sat with in her last days was ministering to me, even as she struggled to take her next breathes. Another woman spent her dying days cursing others around her, her only relief came when I sang hymens to her. Some see heaven so clearly that it changes how they live on earth, how they treat others, how they see God.Â Heaven is changing me! It makes me look beyond the grave to see thatÂ God is sovereign in all things, even my son’s death.

Wanting to be Heaven Minded So that I am Earthly Good

Posted March 1, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Colossians 3:1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

“They are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good.”, is a falseÂ saying! Yesterday I was atÂ a funeral for a man who was an interracial part of our community, our state, and our lives. Even the Governor and Senator came to pay their respects. Mike’s son shared, “It was not all the things that he did to improve our lives that made him a great man, it was the fact that he loved the Lord his God, with all his heart, soul and mind.” Mike was heavenly minded! I contend, that if your mind is truly on the things of heaven then you will be doing the greatest good here on earth.

I have a son in heaven! To say that he has turned my head towards heaven is an understatement. Jonathan’s death has made me cling to the only one who gave me love, value, purpose and meaning in the first place. Jonathan’s death has forced me to renew the foundation that Christ laid, to strengthen it, and to fix my eyes on Him. Jonathan’s death has increased my longing for things above, and I pray that my longing grows deeper. I want to be heaven minded, because this earth deserves nothing less than my best!

Posts Tagged: faith

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