Posts Tagged: karisa moore

A Letter to my Insecurities (Guest Poet Isabella Robbins)

Dear insecurities,
You’re the only one that’s always there
When I don’t want you to be.
Padding my soul of diffidence,
My mind of woe,
And constructing my mighty, drumming heart
Into
A fragile sketch of affection.
My direction is elusive as I
Bicker my way past your repulsive games.
You mislead me.
You blind me.
Your flames ignite as every dismal
Experience, rejection, fear, words
Assemble around your blaze
Admiring you, computing to your destruction
Tossing wood pellets into a fiery bonfire
As you would a coin in a fountain of wishes
But still, somewhere deep within me
Holds the power to extinguish your fire.

(This is © by Isabella Robbins and can only be used with her expressed permission.)

Isabella

 

I’m Isabella Robbins—a sophomore in high school. I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues along with anxiety & depression, but have recently discovered writing is the best way I can release my feelings. Instead of holding my thoughts and emotions within my already busy mind, poetry has enabled me to write them out in a form of art. By doing this, I realize I’m not alone, and can only hope I can let others know that too.

 

Poetry is posted every Thursday at 7pm.

Crossing the Dead-Line: Our Diligent Work in Grief

“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away” (Matthew 24:35)

Deadlines are awesome…when they have to do with writing, but the word’s origins are steeped in death. Prisoners could not cross a “dead-line ” without being shot. By choosing hope, I have crossed the dead-line Satan attempted to draw into my life. “You can do your christian thing, but stay in your religious box and do not touch the other side.”

But on the other side, I see a neighbor who just got fired from his job, the teenager who can’t look you in the eye because they are so tangled in sex, drugs, or doubt they feel no one can forgive them. I am aware of the preacher, who feels stuck in the muck of depleted finances, a wife and two kids, and righteous sinners critical of his work, contemplating a way out. The businessman who has scrapped the way to the top and is lonely and finding success hollow and shallow, now holding onto the amber bottle of escape. And that child not given a chance from birth, whose only known pain. They are all on suicide’s doorstep.

So I cross that line. At nineteen years old God crossed the dead-line for me. He plucked me from suicide’s grave and even now when Satan thought he’d have the last laugh with my son’s death to suicide, I find abundant life in grief.

I was given a new dead-line. Cross over into despair and possibly be swallowed whole by Satan while pulling others to safety is worth the risk. Finding the words to express God’s love became my diligent work in grief. My deadline is Heaven with Jesus, and I want you there with me.

 

Devotionals are posted every Tuesday at 7pm

Life and Death aren’t Kept Secret

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23 ESV).

(Originally Shared October 2014)

Fall is my favorite season, and as I hiked through the woods, I was reminded of why. It isn’t just the fall colors or the cool nip in the air that revive and remind me of the divine. It is that even in death, life is given.

Take this log for example. It is brimming with life! Fall reminds me that death is not the end of God’s story. There are millions of possibilities that lay hidden beneath the surface ready to burst forth and display his provision and splendor.

Some of us feel like an empty shell, dead inside, nothing could possibly grow from us.  I declare to you with complete confidence that there are a million seeds of life planted inside you ready to spring forth! I once thought that I was without purpose, but I see clearly that life is in every cell of my being! I want to give that life to you.

This season is one of hidden possibility. But God’s promises are true. They are observable, and repeat I’m nature and the testimony of many the world tossed out as dead. Trust God’s provision for your life and let him reveal the life growing inside of you.

Love you dearly!

Karisa

Devotionals are posted at 7pm every Tuesday.

Spirit of Despair (Response Prompt)

I am elevated emptiness

puffed up with my will.

I cradle and nurse fear like a

mother with starved child

I breathe deeply, as I pinch your oxygen

I am the shiver that shadows your spine,

always creeping in the open doors of

crowded confidence.

 

You can’t escape me,

human gods. You elevate to

pedestals and put crowns on achievement.

I find the cracks in

your stoic status and crumble

saints and sinners with the

tap, tap,

of my chisel of

doubt.

 

Poetry is posted every Thursday at 7pm (Garment of Joy Next Week)

One of my favorite ways to write poems is to respond to other poets. Are you up for the challenge? How would you respond to someone battling the Spirit of Despair? How would you offer hope? What weapons would you use? Link back to this post and place your link in the comments.

God Creates Something New Through Mistakes

“Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?'” (John 8:10 NIV)

My son Daniel brought home “mistake” artwork. His teacher drew on each of their pages, and they had to transform the mistake into a new picture. Daniel had the two humps you see in the middle and what emerged were gravestones. “I didn’t see what they were until I turned the page a different direction,” he explained. Life is full of mistakes, and they are usable, even our worst sinful failures, in the hands of a creative God.

The nameless adultress woman could be any of us. Your sin is exposed. Standing in front of Jesus, and the high and mighty who don’t care what happens to you. They just want to trap Jesus. After all, “thou shall not commit adultery” was written in stone by the hand of God.  Yet, Jesus offers grace to both the accusers and accused. “You who are without sin, cast the first stone.” He kneels down, begins drawing in the sand. Maybe he is sketching a new, beautiful, healed picture of you.

God has every right to judge us for breaking his law. But instead, he takes our mistakes, the sin that so easily entangles, and transforms us with his love. Jesus isn’t glossing over sin. He tells the woman to go and sin no more. He expects us to live a transformed life. Justice and grace unite on the cross to form a new picture for humanity. He is not distant from our struggle, he is intimately aware of what we have already drawn on our page. Christ drew resurrection over death, transforming our sin warped picture of his original design.

What new picture is God drawing of you?

 

Devotionals are posted every Tuesday at 7pm.

Rebuilding from Grief

Concrete life is ground up by grief

Exposing the naked foundation of what I believe.

Slowly you softened my soul with tears,

fill me with the mortar of faith

And build brick by brick, a temple of Grace

Love and Hope for others to come in.

The Holy Spirit Sang Over Me (Guest Blogger)

Our guest blogger Kay Em Ellis and I met at a Serious Writers Conference recently. She share how the Holy Spirit Sang his encouragement to her in her darkest moment of doubt. Be encouraged by her story!

Serious Writer

Christian Writers Conference a Place of Connection

Immediately I felt a kindred heart in the fight against despair. At the end of our weekend, with our arms up in worship, Kay came to stand beside me, and I felt deeply encouraged. Such a sweet and amazing woman who is sensitive to the Spirit’s calling.

Kay has traveled the world! She uses her gift of writing to reflect God’s love through poetry, fiction, and lessons God is teaching as she travels.

Check out her travel and faith blog: Awaken the Dawn.

 

 

The Holy Spirit Sang Over Me

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Romans 8:15, ESV

 

I thought depression would go away. It didn’t.

 

When I gave my life to Christ, I signed up for the World Race mission trip. I lived in eleven countries in eleven months. I felt whole and complete and at peace in Christ.

 

Living the Christian life in ministry six to seven days per week, constant community, intensive Bible study while living out of a backpack, God used many opportunities to refine me. He sifted me through several bouts of depression and stretched me to what felt like the breaking point multiple times.

 

He didn’t do it to be mean. He did it because He loves me, and I needed it. But when I melted down at a bus station in Lima, Peru, I failed to lean into God and rest in His strength. I crumbled.

 

I’ve felt unworthy of love and blessing like I don’t deserve a joyful life, spouse, or even children. So much changed in my heart and life after I met Jesus, but that didn’t mean all my problems vanished.

 

The Lord had to teach me to break agreement with shame and depression to wage war against them. The battle wasn’t easy, and I came close to calling it quits several times.

 

It’s too hard! I cried out in my heart and even aloud during heartfelt prayer. I can’t do it anymore! But, each time I said I can’t, God countered the lie with, YOU CAN. Sometimes I believed Him; sometimes I didn’t.

 

It was seven in the morning when I broke in Lima, Peru. I sat at the bus station, waiting to climb aboard the bus that would take my squad to Ecuador. Silent tears poured as I replayed how badly I always messed everything up, specifically one thing I’d been struggling with from my past. I criticized myself, heading toward a destructive path of self-condemnation.

 

Shame bubbled up. My thoughts spiraled into a dark chasm I hadn’t realized still existed in me. But God knew just how deep that darkness ran.

 

He wanted me to face the shame so I could overcome it.

 

Cheeks moist, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. The peace of God overshadowed me; then He showed me a vision I’ll never forget, Jesus on the Cross.

 

Jesus loves you. The concept of love is so skewed in our society, and I don’t think people understand what it means when I try to share His love. I certainly didn’t before I really encountered that love. Even after I chose to follow Christ, it took a long time to comprehend that God could love us so completely, despite our rejection and the muck of our deepest sins.

 

God loved us first. He loved us when we hated him. It’s His nature. He loves like no one else because God isn’t like anyone else. He sent the Holy Spirit to live in those who have repented of their sins and turned to the Son: to advocate for us, to convict us, and, in this case, to comfort us.

 

My conviction came through the song. You Are More by Tenth Avenue North. The Holy Spirit sang that song over me, and I soaked in the lyrics while in Ecuador. I am so much more than who this world tells me I am. Reader, you are not the sum of your past mistakes. Allow the Holy Spirit to remake you. Lean back, absorb the truth of God’s redeeming love.

 

Please contact me if you would like to appear as a guest blogger.

Mistakes are Missed Takes, Try Again

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (NIV).

The devil whispered, “You are not good enough.”

I just returned from a writers conference. I learned more about the writing market, my skills were honed by great speakers and faculty. Interest in my current manuscript was tangible and God forged relationships with other warrior writers. But among so many amazing people the ugly accuser crept, seeking to reveal weaknesses.

I made an embarrassing mistake, and every last one of my insecurities erupted making it hard to breathe.

And the devil hissed, “You are not good enough.”

But unlike my childhood self, I now know the truth of Romans 8:28. I love God, and his purpose for me redeems even my worst mistakes. Errors are not permanent, and there is a purpose in every experience. I still couldn’t get my body to catch up with my head knowledge of that truth. I was exhausted and felt awful. I sought out the prayer warrior on the team. She prayed in a way I could not, and I agreed with the reality of who God says I am. The feeling of unworthiness passed.

Are you coming into agreement with who God says you are? Here are steps to take:

  • Don’t dwell in the attack/ fight back
  • Acknowledge/confess, any sin causing you to stumble and repent
  • Claim the truth of Christ found in scripture
  • Pray for the spirit of despair to leave
  • Stand firm though feelings may not match

God has a good plan for you, and when you choose to love Him above all else, the enemy cannot defeat the purpose God determined for your life.

The devil may accuse, “You are not good enough.”

But God shouts back, “In my image, I created her/him!”

 

Devotionals are posted every Tuesday at 7pm

 

the cross is necessary

God Leans on Sinners

The snap of surprise,

as the ragged watch you

boldly clear a temple bustling

with the commerce of greedy self-worship.

Freeing frightened birds flapping wildly in cages of false belief.

Awakening truth in the hearts of prostitutes, liars,

and outcast.

 

God leans on sinners.

 

Asks the wicked to pray for him.

Chooses friends among enemies, and

intimately sweats the blood of flesh, to meet

his own righteous expectations.

 

 

Today I Walk Out of the Darkness

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:3).

Survivors of Suicide must do what our loved one could not–walk out of the darkness.

We cannot help what was, but we can be a part of changing what is. How?

  • Humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6)
  • Be thankful (1 Peter 5:3)
  • Be present in the lives around you and offer (Matthew 9:35-37)
    • love
    • faith
    • hope
  • Pray for and defend the oppressed (Psalm 10:17-18)
  • Pray for and challenge the oppressors (Matthew 5:44, Isaiah 1:17)
  • Live your God-given life to the fullest (John 10:10)
  • Take courage as you face your own weaknesses and temptations (Luke 8:4-15)
  • Grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
  • Walk together, supporting each other (1 Peter 5:2-4)

This is the foundation God is laying in my grief.  that help me to continue through the valley of the shadow of death rather than becoming mired in the pit of despair.

 

If you would like to make a donation here is my link:

Out of the Darkness Walk Donor Drive

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/