2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
What do you do, no matter what? Especially if you suffer from depression, I’d really like to compile a list of helpful habits as a resource to others. Since Jonathan’s death the two places that I am most under attack are in the car, and in the late evenings. I have limited the amount of driving I do. My mind is a landmine of destructive thoughts when I am exhausted, so opening myself up to even the news in the evening seems to fuel depression as I try to sleep.
Categories:
Daily habits that lift your spirits
Example: Singing hymns
Making my bed (seems small, but completing this task daily leads to bigger completions)
Scriptures you bring to mind
The habit of avoidance:
Not staying up late alone
Avoiding TV after 9
I reach into photos, attempting CPR on settled smiles.
A wisp of beauty landed close to me.
Separate, but the same.
I marveled at its will to live
A vibrant delicate life
Short yet powerful
Because it changed me.
Perfectly loved, unafraid because
You make yourself
comfortable in my heart.
Wallpapering my soul
with scripture,
flinging open windows and locked doors
to the sunshine of your joy.
Removing stumbling
blocks
Removing doubt that clutters.
Lifting my face
to gaze into your
unblemished love.
Choosing
me.
Adopting me.
You are my mirror
Reflecting truth
I refused to see,
Showing me my heart
the way you see it, strengthening
my love to laugh again.
John 10:10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.–Jesus
“Sorry, my ADD is kicking in.” I apologized, acknowledging that I was distracted from listening because my attention was focused on the beautiful flower bouquets she had in her office. I was delighted by how well they coordinated with her purple blazer.
She smiled and laughed, “That’s your creativity shining through, certainly not something to apologize for.” My eyes widened, I had never thought of my distraction like that.
“Those flowers were here yesterday and you are the first person to mention noticing them. And probably the only person who will notice them. I hadn’t even noticed that my blazer coordinated with them. I take the expansion of your attention to the room as a sign of healing, not weakness.” She encouraged. “Most people when they first come into my office look down and can’t even look at me. As they begin to heal they begin looking at me and then beyond.”
How depression shrinks our world. Until the only thing that we smell, hear, taste, see, feel, is the sweat of our own fear, hear the loud ramblings of our own thoughts, taste the bitterness of our failures, see that we are alone, and feel disconnected from a huge world of possibilities. If you are in that place, may my testimony encourage you! It is because of one step, and then another, and then another that I came to place that even when my worst nightmare came true I can still declare that life is worth living.
May we journey together in looking up and seeing the beauty beyond our nightmares. Talk with me and let me know how you are doing.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/