Accused.
I stand amazed,
Your
Electrified my soul and
Testified boldly to the audience
That you are indeed the crucified All-Mighty.
Drunk? No.
Under the influence of
Your resurrection I
Cannot help but belt out
My gratefulness. Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty.
Saved,
You became my passionate rift of joy,
a bridge that opens eyes to possibility
in the monotony
of daily trials. You are my
chorus to echo experience,
of resurrected life.
(Inspired by Pentecost Acts 1)
” The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3 BSB).
It is now 1:51 in the morning and I have given up on sleep. So I came downstairs to meditate on scripture and pray. This as my go-to habit when I can’t sleep. The time has been sweet, refreshing my spirit, and reveals so much about myself and God.
The Lord prompted me to share with you step by step, as it is happening, what my time looks like.
Supplies:
Steps:
Questions:
Lest you be intimidated by the fact that I am looking up the Hebrew translation of the verses, realize this, I love languages. I am a word girl. We lose some depth of meaning through our English translation, so I try to look at the original. This is a desire God placed in me as an aspect of my delight in scripture. Reading the original aids in my understanding. By no means do you have to do this, and I would actually caution, anyone beginning to read scripture for the first time to keep it simple.
At the core, my basic reading pattern looks like this:
Indeed, the Hebrew revealed something I didn’t see before. “Perfect peace” could literally be translated “peace peace”. By doubling up, the writer is implying this is complete, without a shadow of a doubt peace. It doesn’t come from man building security on high. It comes from God fortifying our lives, protecting us day and night, and trusting him to do what is right for us.
God has been chiseling away at the hard places in me where I lean on my own understanding and don’t trust him (i.e. my daughter’s health) and revealing over and over his trustworthiness.
Going back to my list again, what developed as I read is the following:
Blessing and and peace peace dear brothers and sisters.
The seasick panic of blistered seasoned
fishers of men, uncontrolled swells
smashing faith against wake
of our doubts
and you
sleep
you don’t
care for us
our fear swamping confidence
in your claim to be
I AM is rocked to asleep
By the destruction overwhelming us
Awaken to our insecurity
“Silence! Be still.”
Secure control.
Peace.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5 ESV).
The needs of others press into my soul and I want to help. Almost weekly, family, friends, and strangers reveal to me the toll suicide is taking on them. My heart breaks for so many who struggle with despair, and I desire to be present for anyone in need of comfort, a listening ear, and God’s love. But I cannot maintain, was never meant to sustain, ministry alone. I cannot be your vine.
God is a good gardener and within his care, we bear much fruit. Apart from him, we cannot do anything. Believers fall away because we attempt to MAKE fruit grow in our own skills, time frame, and energy. We count heads in the pews, facebook likes, ministries we are involved in. This is not where the fruit happens.
Fruit grows in the vine of Christ. So right now I stop trying to produce and submit to God’s pruning and cultivation. He uses scripture (currently reading Job), prayer, worship, pastors, nature, wise counsel, and music to nourish me. He is slowing me down and causing me to be more intentional in action and follow through.
Supporting, encouraging, and loving those who cross my path in their time of grief consistent connection with Jesus. He is the vine, and I am a branch. Notice Jesus doesn’t say the only branch; because many others will bear the fruit of sharing God’s love. Christ points at you in the middle of a vineyard of luscious ripe grapes and says. Abide in me, and out of that abiding comes fruitfulness. We are nourished by his will, love, strength, and compassion. But, too often we attempt to sustain ourselves and others in our own abilities and we wither.
Our model to this vine and branch relationship is Jesus and God the Father. He said his purpose was to do the will of the father (John 6:38). The son of man remained firmly planted where God placed him, even on the cross. As a believer, I am grafted into Christ and I will bear the most fruit by remaining in his will even in hard things.
Devotionals are Posted at 7 pm every TuesdayÂ
The snap of surprise,
as the ragged watch you
boldly clear a temple bustling
with the commerce of greedy self-worship.
Freeing frightened birds flapping wildly in cages of false belief.
Awakening truth in the hearts of prostitutes, liars,
and outcast.
God leans on sinners.
Asks the wicked to pray for him.
Chooses friends among enemies, and
intimately sweats the blood of flesh, to meet
his own righteous expectations.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:3).
Survivors of Suicide must do what our loved one could not–walk out of the darkness.
We cannot help what was, but we can be a part of changing what is. How?
This is the foundation God is laying in my grief. that help me to continue through the valley of the shadow of death rather than becoming mired in the pit of despair.
If you would like to make a donation here is my link:
When demanding circumstances
have tattered faith and still
the needs of today grab.
You invite my soul to
sail. A sea of stillness,
where none can touch,
there restore with sweet
and salty parables of faithfulness.
Scripture:
Romans 1:15 That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are in Rome. 16 I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes,first to the Jew, then to the Greek. 17 For the gospel reveals the righteousness of God that comes by faith from start to finish, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.â€â€¦
Thoughts:
If faith in Jesus Christ were dependent upon where we were born, who our parents are, or what religion we were brought up in, then the divisions in our beliefs would be concrete walls that were impenetrable. But trust in God, belief in His son Jesus is found throughout the world. Why?
Prayer:
Father, I praise you that you want to be known! You are not an inactive, distant God. Your will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Thank you for letting me be an instrument of your will. May my testimony of what I see and hear of you encourage all who cross my path. Amen
Before the swell of gospel melody,
The steady scales of scripture
Are plunked out daily in practice.
I play my Father’s masterpiece.
Before the crowd of miracles,
Prayer plods through lonely deserts
noting life’s measure.
I play my Father’s masterpiece.
Before the timing of pharisaic dissidence,
Lessons in theory reveal the authentic
character of the world’s composer.
I play my Father’s masterpiece.
Before the crescendo of resurrection,
there is a garden path of surrender
where I watch the winding procession of betrayal.
I play my Father’s masterpiece.
Before the harmony of fireside discipleship,
I close my eyes and listen to the master play.
Tuning my heart to the rhythm of the cross.
I play my Father’s masterpiece.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/