Posts Tagged: suicide

Do I Need to Climb Into the Pit to Understand You?

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 21:15When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

 

“I don’t think anyone can understand what I’m going through, unless they have been there.”

“If you want to understand someone you have to walk a mile in their shoes.”

“You have such a good testimony. My faith has never been tested like that.”

 

I have heard statements like this for a long time and I didn’t realize why they make me cringe, until today. I state again, Jesus ate with sinners, but he did not become a sinner to understand our pain. I do not buy the idea that somehow, those who have not been touched in someway by suicide cannot understand my pain and grief. If you are in the flesh, you can understand. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

The effectiveness of our empathy for the broken comes from how closely we are relating to the love of God, not how much we relate to each other. I think I have just rebuffed about every method of psychology we use to address what ails us in that statement. If we really want to counter suicide and depression then we need to love like Jesus. Only then will we feed his sheep, sacrifice for others, take persecution and forgive our enemies.

The closer I draw to the love of my heavenly Father the more I love and am broken hearted for your pain and struggles. And, since there was no separation between Jesus and the love of God he loves us completely! This was the first truth I had to accept when I began walking with Jesus. Scripture is a love note from beginning to end, even the hard parts. From the beginning of creation God has loved us.

When Jesus asks you if you love him, what is your answer?

Dear New Page Turners,

I cannot turn the page on suicide alone. None of us can. I value your experiences, your challenges, the depth of your own sorrows and your resilience! Please do not hesitate to contact me with your concerns, suggestions and experiences of hope in the midst of grief or depression.

Thank you for reading and turning the page on suicide with me!

 

Sincerely,

Karisa

To Be Continued . . .

Didn’t know I was talking to suicide,

goodbye was not on my lips.

“See you this afternoon”

promised more time.

Silence

breathed on the line between us

Like a to-be-continued story

never completed . . .

You hung

up while I still wait for

the afternoon to come.

Out of the Darkness Walk: Who Will Walk With Me?

Today is the day of my second Out of the Darkness Walk. My team is assembled and so far we have raised over $500 dollars. Walking to Turn the Page on Suicide is filled with hope! It may be one by one that we bring others out of the darkness, depression and suicide struggles are unique to each person, but this illness forces us to see others as individuals. There is no formula that will fix the epidemic. Three things I know are absolutes–LOVE, FAITH, and HOPE. Without these three core values I will falter and fail.

I was reminded this week that sometimes my need for immediate results makes me so short sighted. God’s perspective is above time and I can’t see two inches away from my face. Galatians 6:9-10:

9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Love, faith and hope are in this race for the long haul! Not a short sprint. Jesus came so that we may have life, abundant life and for some of us it takes time for us to accept abundant life. He was willing to go into places that “clean” people just wouldn’t go. Are you and I willing to do the same? Remember, as we offer all that we have to one lost sheep, we know that we do not walk alone.

It took me 20 years to accept abundant life. Many men and women planted seeds along the way. Some of them do not know how valuable there moments with me were, but I do! The Holy Spirit went ahead of these Christians to plow the hardened field of my heart so that one day a little plant emerged, then another, and then another. As I walk today planting seeds in the dark ground of depression and suicide, I hope, I love, and I have faith . . .

Breathing Life Into Your Reflections

Caught a glimpse of you today

mirrored in another

standing in your

shoes, your smock,

your hat,

ready to

serve me

My son introduced

you to my pain

building kinship

to his brother hanging

on the wall.

fringe familiarity

blinked back at me

“I shared a bus.”

You acknowledged

Grief heaved

a heavy sigh of

silence between us.

How are you?

Questioning the

son I can longer ask

Willing another still

breathing to

value each breath

Embracing Photos

Embracing Photos

Being a Lamp in the Darkness

After reading a fellow poet’s haunting work I prepared a response to the darkness that lights her world, and once lit my own.

I have lived in darkness,

wrapped up in the blanket of its truth, smothered

hope and shut out liars

who offer to light my way with burnt

out candles of philosophy. I thought that I had insulated

myself from darkness by embracing its truth. Nothing begets nothing–

we’re all dead anyway.

Until

fear mastered my taste buds, and my

craving was bitterness.

 

I begged death to

swallow me whole and it did.

Soul crushing pain that I could

never quite medicate out of existence.

Death was my hope.

 

But there was a persistent, pesky light

that didn’t care if I trusted. The warmth of its glow stayed constant

when others faded away.  Like an inn at the end of a long

journey, it offered rest from

my aching confusion.

 

The lantern brought me from the woods

of my tangled shadows.

Secure in its source,

in its never changing nature

a humble truth never experienced in my boasting

darkness of doubt. It didn’t demand I believe, nor

did it exact the price of darkness. It paid in full every

debt I owed. This light didn’t scramble as I did,

to snuff out pain. It bore it. . . .willingly.

It hung in the darkness for me.

I have never experienced such light.

A state of being, rather than doing, a love

that pursues

Rather than playing hide-and-seek.

 

My soul caught fire as I warmed by the fire

of its glory,

I am a light to you in the darkness

Inviting warmth and freedom to the darkest souls.

The Void of Your Presence

The void of your presence

Presses hard into my thoughts today

Jumbling the jigsaw pieces

Within my fragilely framed reality.

How can I ever complete this puzzle

without you?

Out of the Darkness Walk

I am participating in my second walk on October 18th, sponsored by AFSP. Be sure and check for Out of the Darkness Walks in your area. If you would like to donate to my team click on Turn the Page on Suicide. Our goal this year is $2000! The funds support research, support for those who suffer depression and those who endure the aftermath of suicide.

I was hesitant in participating last year in the walk because I was only months out from my son’s death. I am so glad I went and I look forward to supporting others who may also just be starting their walk as survivors.

Blessings upon you.

Karisa

Hugging Photos Isn’t Enough

Daniel hugged the plaque of Jonathan that hung at Moe’s Restaurant this weekend. His heartache was so evident in his attempt to embrace his brother. When that did not satisfy, as we walked out the door he reached for Natalie.

“Here Natalie, you be Jonathan so I can hug you.”

Sigh, I want so badly to fill their little arms. Oh Lord, they need flesh and bones Jonathan, fill them with the satisfaction of your embrace. Hold them tight! Keep them safe from the darkness.

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/