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Posts Tagged: turning the page on suicide

Spirit of Despair (Response Prompt)

Posted November 22, 2018 | Karisa Moore

I am elevated emptiness

puffed up with my will.

I cradle and nurse fear like a

mother with starved child

I breathe deeply, as I pinch your oxygen

I am the shiver that shadows your spine,

always creeping in the open doors of

crowded confidence.

You can’t escape me,

human gods. You elevate to

pedestals and put crowns on achievement.

I find the cracks in

your stoic status and crumble

saints and sinners with the

tap, tap,

of my chisel of

doubt.

Poetry is posted every Thursday at 7pm (Garment of Joy Next Week)

One of my favorite ways to write poems is to respond to other poets. Are you up for the challenge? How would you respond to someone battling the Spirit of Despair? How would you offer hope? What weapons would you use? Link back to this post and place your link in the comments.

God Creates Something New Through Mistakes

Posted November 20, 2018 | Karisa Moore

“Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?'” (John 8:10 NIV)

My son Daniel brought home “mistake” artwork. His teacher drew on each of their pages, and they had to transform the mistake into a new picture. Daniel had the two humps you see in the middle and what emerged were gravestones. “I didn’t see what they were until I turned the page a different direction,” he explained. Life is full of mistakes, and they are usable, even our worst sinful failures, in the hands of a creative God.

The nameless adultress woman could be any of us. Your sin is exposed. Standing in front of Jesus, and the high and mighty who don’t care what happens to you. They just want to trap Jesus. After all, “thou shall not commit adultery” was written in stone by the hand of God.Â Yet, Jesus offers grace to both the accusers and accused. “You who are without sin, cast the first stone.” He kneels down, begins drawing in the sand. Maybe he is sketching a new, beautiful, healed picture of you.

God has every right to judge us for breaking his law. But instead, he takes our mistakes, the sin that so easily entangles, and transforms us with his love. JesusÂ isn’t glossing over sin. He tells the woman to go and sin no more. He expects us to live a transformed life. Justice and grace unite on the cross to form a new picture for humanity. He is not distant from our struggle, he is intimately aware of what we have already drawn on our page. Christ drew resurrection over death, transforming our sin warped picture of his original design.

What new picture is God drawing of you?

Devotionals are posted every Tuesday at 7pm.

Rebuilding from Grief

Posted November 15, 2018 | Karisa Moore

Concrete life is ground up by grief

Exposing the naked foundation of what I believe.

Slowly you softened my soul with tears,

fill me with the mortar of faith

And build brick by brick, a temple of Grace

Love and Hope for others to come in.

Mistakes are Missed Takes, Try Again

Posted November 6, 2018 | Karisa Moore

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (NIV).

The devil whispered, “You are not good enough.”

I just returned from a writers conference. I learned more about the writing market, my skillsÂ were honed by great speakers and faculty. Interest in my current manuscript was tangible and God forged relationships with other warrior writers. But among so many amazing people the ugly accuser crept, seeking to reveal weaknesses.

I made an embarrassing mistake, and every last one of my insecurities erupted making it hard to breathe.

And the devil hissed, “You are not good enough.”

But unlike my childhood self, I now know the truth of Romans 8:28. I love God, and his purpose for me redeems even my worst mistakes. Errors are not permanent, and there is a purpose in every experience. I still couldn’t get my body to catch up with my head knowledge of that truth. I was exhausted and felt awful. I sought out the prayer warrior on the team. SheÂ prayed in a way I could not, and IÂ agreed with the reality of who God says I am. The feeling of unworthiness passed.

Are you coming into agreement with who God says you are? Here are steps to take:

Don’t dwell in the attack/ fight back
Acknowledge/confess, any sin causing you to stumble and repent
Claim the truth of Christ found in scripture
Pray for the spirit of despair to leave
Stand firm though feelings may not match

God has a good plan for you, and when you choose to love Him above all else, the enemy cannot defeat the purpose God determined for your life.

The devil may accuse, “You are not good enough.”

But God shouts back, “In my image, I created her/him!”

Devotionals are posted every Tuesday at 7pm

God Leans on Sinners

Posted October 17, 2018 | Karisa Moore

The snap of surprise,

as the ragged watch you

boldly clear a temple bustling

with the commerce of greedy self-worship.

Freeing frightened birds flapping wildly in cages of false belief.

Awakening truth in the hearts of prostitutes, liars,

and outcast.

God leans on sinners.

Asks the wicked to pray for him.

Chooses friends among enemies, and

intimately sweats the blood of flesh, to meet

his own righteous expectations.

Today I Walk Out of the Darkness

Posted October 14, 2018 | Karisa Moore

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:3).

Survivors of Suicide must do what our loved one could not–walk out of the darkness.

We cannot help what was, but we can be a part of changing what is. How?

Humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6)
Be thankful (1 Peter 5:3)
Be present in the lives around you and offer (Matthew 9:35-37)
- love
- faith
- hope
Pray for and defend the oppressed (Psalm 10:17-18)
Pray for and challenge the oppressors (Matthew 5:44, Isaiah 1:17)
Live your God-given life to the fullest (John 10:10)
Take courage as you face your own weaknesses and temptations (Luke 8:4-15)
Grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
Walk together, supporting each other (1 Peter 5:2-4)

This is the foundation God is laying in my grief.Â that help me to continue through the valley of the shadow of death rather than becoming mired in the pit of despair.

If you would like to make a donation here is my link:

Out of the Darkness Walk Donor Drive

Falter

Posted October 11, 2018 | Karisa Moore

When crumpled pages still turn

marked and argued within margins

and ideas of who you are no longer boxed in

then I falter no longer, but trust even when …

Grief’s Quickening

Posted October 4, 2018 | Karisa Moore

When the dust settles over

grave and grass grows

thick over death, your life

still quickens in the womb of

a mother’s grief.

When Your Thoughts Are a Horror Film

Posted October 2, 2018 | Karisa Moore

My heart staggers; fear makes me tremble. The twilight of my desire has turned to horror.
Isaiah 21:4 NIV

Turning My Page

Awoke this morning to images of my dead son. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does sometimes I can move my brain to dwell on God’s goodness. Other times I cannot.

God planted some new book ideas last night. A great blessing. But, this new, potential series takes me back to those first days, and once those cataloged images are opened some unwanted ones come with it. So what do I do when my thoughts are uncontrollable?

Take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.
- Meditate on scriptures
- Speak truth over my thoughts
  - I was up late discussing my son
  - Made connections with other men and women who have similar stories
  - Was encouraged by their stories
  - Walked away with ideas for new books
Share my struggle with my support team
Pray
Pour out my complaint before God.
- Lord, I am struggling with my thoughts this morning. I acknowledge that I want Jonathan alive and here. He is not. What do you want me to learn from my son’s death? Is there anything I need to see differently in light of your love? Father, the enemy seeks to destroy my rest and trust in you. Guide my heart and mind to your truth that I may share your trustworthiness in a deeper way. Amen.
Repeat
- Sometimes a spirit of fear does not leave easily or quickly. Does a lion just quit when she doesn’t get her prey on the first try? We have an enemy seeking to devour us, and our thoughts are a place he will pursue relentlessly because they are the stronghold of God.
Fortify my weakened soul.
Rest
Be careful what I watch
Drink plenty of water
Spend time with family and friends