Home Bouquet

Home, is a bouquet of sweet memories. I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar fragrance of you.

Free Corporate Career Mom Online Conference

Hi,

 

Is ‘never stop growing’ a personal motto for you, or does it cause you to shrink back in fear every time you consider the possibility? Are you 100% clear on the path laid out before you? Could you use a little boost of confidence in your life?

 

If you’re ready to level up your personal sense of self-worth and are interested in gaining more clarity regarding what you want in life, then listen up! I’ve joined 20+ experts for an immersive, online interview series that is available to you this September.

 

The Corporate Career Mom Online Conference is a free, online interview series, which I get to be a part of, focused on helping you expand your capacity for loving yourself and your life. I’m so pleased to be among this incredible line-up of psychologists, authors, coaches, mind-body experts, and much, much more.

 

From unearthing the neuroscience behind our feelings of self-worth to building an action plan that will help eliminate overwhelm, self-doubt and build confidence, to align with more peace and calm, the Corporate Career Mom Online Conference is a necessary tool for everyone!

 

{Click here} to claim your spot!

 

First Speaking Opportunity

So excited to be a speaker for Corporate Career Mom Online Conference. Turning the Page on Suicide means taking steps to speak life and hope in the midst of despair. Anything is usable in the hands of God. I pray that my testimony encourages mothers to love well, care for those around them with the compassion of Christ, and to know their story matters in a world that is crowded with doubts.

It’s a busy, distracted world out there, and sometimes we can get so caught up with keeping in step that we don’t remember to seek out our own stride. Even when we know, deep down in our core being, that our strength lies in our self-value, it isn’t always easy to muster the confidence.

 

And it’s also never been a better time to be open to this struggle and to be vulnerable while striving to be stronger. Are you hitting the wall when it comes to embracing your self-worth and juggling the demands of work life balance and motherhood? Do you struggle with understanding who you really are, and what you really want with your one beautiful life?

 

I’m excited to share an event that will change the way you think about this powerful and exciting journey. The Corporate Career Mom Online Conference is a free, online interview series with 20+ experts who want to help you expand your capacity for loving yourself and your life.

 

I’m so pleased to be among this incredible line-up of psychologists, authors, coaches, mind-body experts, and much, much more.

 

The demands of work and family life are stressful, especially for women.

 

From unearthing the neuroscience behind our feelings of self-worth to building an action plan that will help eliminate overwhelm, self-doubt and build confidence, to align with more peace and calm, the Corporate Career Mom Online Conference is a necessary tool for everyone!

 

{Click here} to claim your spot!

 

Born From Grief

Birthed from the womb

of your grave, I gasp my first breath of new

life and cry out.

 

Owning Our Quirks, Not Our Sin

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” (Romans 8: 18-21 NIV)

When asking for Orange Juice, but what comes out of your mouth is Ketchup . . . own it!

This morning I was struggling to shake off the grog of another night of dysfunctional sleep. My husband graciously supplied my request and plopped down the ketchup bottle in front of me.

While everyone laughed, I took the bottle of ketchup and poured myself a tall glass. My family’s laughter turned to gags of horror as I downed a tall, refreshingly cold, and tangy glass of fresh squeezed ketchup.

We are all broken.  Bound to flub something. The skinny ones, the stocky ones, the tired,  the well rested, the weak, and the strong. These slip ups, that once sent me reeling and shutting down from humanity because “once again I said the wrong thing”, are absolutely nothing compared to the glory that is being revealed in me!

I’m a mystery loving, creative, artistic, encouragement writing, deep feeler of the world! I take my mistakes way too seriously. And I am learning to laugh.

I notice that many of us who wrestle with despair don’t easily laugh at ourselves. And laughter is truly good medicine. Laughter often snaps our soul out of its spiral down to the pit and brings us back to the reality that there really are good things happening in our lives. Mistakes of speech, or practice, or discovery, are like play-dough. Roll them out and make something new.

The only thing to truly humble ourselves and learn to address is the sin in our lives. If our mistakes don’t separate us from the love of God, then own it! God very much has a sense of humor.  I think he probably had a deep belly laugh over my antics this morning. After all, he did create the Platypus.

 

Broken Butterflies Cover (9)
Surrender is not a wound rendering your wings useless, but the gift from God, lifting you to His highest purpose.

Again I Confront Depression: Poetry Response

I love finding other poets to respond to in poetry. Take a look at Radhika Shah’s poem, “Depression calls again” as posted on Jalvis Quotes.

 

My response:

 

Bed made, doubt can’t stop me.

Renumbered days feel possible.

Attention, I will not quit!

Not your call, Not your call.

Bed dressed, habit of hope.

Time waits quietly,

already prepared for the

wrong pressed against determination.

Is there a way through? Is there a way through?

Attention all obstacles

opposite to thought, you are

mere specks of trouble

darkening my life.

Is it possible?

Smile, remember days overcome.

Tried and tested. Tried and tested.

Uncomfortable stretching of muscles untrained.

Help me with your presence, so that I may

lie in peace, lie in peace.

Look in the MIRROR !!!

Yes and Yes! Such a beautiful and truthful reminder to remember who we were and who we are becoming because of what we experience. I especially loved the line, “Just peep back into a time ,where you laughed so much ,that your belly hurts …” I immediately smiled because the memory surfaced.

Voice

Look in the mirror

Look at the beast standing in front of you ..

Pick yourself up !!!

Look at the magnificent persona of the man / woman who encountered a thousand battles…

Look at the warrior and survivor ,standing in front of you ..

Tell him the tales of your glory once again .

Just remember ,the moments ,when you had every chance to give up ..But you didn’t ..

Give a pat to your badass determination …

Think about the moments when you lived with an empty stomach or pocket ,consoling yourself that things will get better ..

Think about the moments ,when you were cheated ,betrayed or decieved by the people ,whom you loved the most …

Think about the sleepless nights ,you have went through .

Think about the mistakes that made you wiser ..

Just peep back into a time ,where you laughed so much…

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Felt Board Feelings

Felt Board Feelings
Inflate my heart with purpose.

Knee-Knocking-Obedience

1 Corinthians 2:1When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. 2For I decided to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. 3I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. 4My message and my preaching were not with persuasive words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, 5so that your faith would not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.
Dear Fellow Page Turners,
Yesterday I took a step to face disabling fear and in my brokenness encouraged others struggling just as deeply.
 
We do not know who is on the edge of hopelessness. It is not in our achieving “Christian perfection” God uses us for the most glory of his kingdom. We become oaks of righteousness in our knee-knocking-obedience. 
Be real with your faith. Be bold in obedience. Be open in your weakness.
Love Always,
Karisa

Needing Reminders in No Mans Land

As I edit my devotional book, I find that sometimes I still need the reminders of four years ago. It has been a rough couple of days. God is still ahead of me, making my path straight. Find courage in God’s declaration that he knows your path!

 

(Written on day 10 after my son’s funeral.)

Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Last night my back locked up as my father-in-law, an osteopath, was trying to bring healing and relief. I cried out to God. “I’m trying not to be mad at you, and this isn’t’ helping!” What an amazing God I have, he can handle anything that I dish out at him. He can handle my anger, tears, ups and downs, all of my emotions. We are in a committed relationship.

That committed relationship certainly didn’t occur overnight on my end. I accepted Jesus as my savior as a little girl, but by the time I was a teenager I had come to believe that I was a pawn in a stupid game that God was playing and I wanted no part of it. So I decided to play my own game with my own rules and almost destroyed myself. When I opened myself to his love, I discovered a God who goes before me, who is with me, and who will never forsake me.

I can see clearly amid our overwhelming loss, God is putting comfort in place as we face every parent’s nightmare. A walking friend introduced me almost ten years ago to the cemetery where my son is buried. I continued to walk there with Jonathan as he grew up.

It was the only connection I had to any cemetery in the area, so it seemed like a good choice for Jonathan’s body to be laid to rest. Once the decision was made, my mom did some research. Much of our family is from this area and mom discovered that my great-grandparents are buried in the cemetery I had chosen! We had no idea. Not only are they buried there, but in the exact lot, I desired Jonathan to be buried. A lot that wouldn’t have been available to us if we did not already have family buried there.

Even the weird weather (the sky turned brilliant at 9pm after darkening for the evening) happening since Jonathan’s death is strangely comforting. It as if heaven itself is mourning with us. Dear friend, God prepares a way for us through whatever trials we face. He cares about every hair on our head, and yes, my back as well.

Lord, I praise you that you are committed to me and that I can trust you in my darkest hour.

Sweet Aroma of Today

God’s in the kitchen whipping up a fresh day. Sunshine sprinkled

with cinnamon clover invites me into barefoot, porch swing

conversations with the Holy Spirit. He kneads my

soul with scripture. Buttering bitterness

of yesterday’s failures with confession and forgiveness

and baking in the truth of my Father’s character. Jesus traces the shape of

his image into my heart. He cracks open His nature, stirring the chorus

of robins, cardinals, and sparrows sweet worship songs of agreement.

I sit quiet, soul listening to breakfast sermons of grace, peace,

and satisfaction sizzling in the skillet of your love.

 

From the Lions Mouth to Standing Firm in Faith

1 Peter 5: 7-9 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.

In 5 days my son dies. I know now . . . I didn’t know on June 26th, 2014. Life was hard, but there was also laughter and joy. Jonathan’s soul was deeply troubled, but I still had hope that he would find peace. Please hear me, all of you who battle with depression day in and day out, SUICIDE DOES NOT END THE BATTLE, IT SPREADS IT!

Every day my life is affected by my son’s choice. His friends live differently, some better and some worse, his siblings’ lives are harder, and all the people who would have loved him, and been loved by him have an empty space where he should have been known. Many of us have to make a decision, on any given day, to turn the page on Jonathan’s actions and choose something different.

I understand despair, my wrists bear the permanent marks of my own battles. But God took a broken self-destructive young woman, changed and convinced her to place hope in His presence, His plan, and His provision for her life.  I continue to choose hope, even after Jonathan’s suicide.

I have learned in these four years of grieving with hope, yes the enemy very much means suicide for evil. His plan was to crush as many souls as possible with my son’s suicide. But that is all he can do, plan.

You and I have the choice of whether to agree with that plan.

I choose to cast all of my anxiety on God. There are others suffering in the same battle with despair. The devil will not devour me, and I pray to strengthen many of you by standing firm in the gospel. In return, God is taking my bone-crushing sorrow and transforming it into a beautiful head-turning butterfly. I am encouraged by many of you who also testify that life, even life plagued by despair, is worth living!

ANNOUNCING: Broken Butterflies: Emerging from Grief, A Survivor of Suicide’s Poetry Journal is now available on Amazon in printed form and soon will be ready as an e-book. One more way I am shouting with every ounce of my being that we Turn the Page on Suicide together!

Broken Butterflies Cover (9)
Surrender is not a wound rendering your wings useless, but the gift from God, lifting you to His highest purpose.