I thought i was re-fuse
garbage for one to recycle
at best, and reject
at worst. But You re-purpose
me, shape my redemption
into refined reality.
Jonathan would have been 22 Thursday.
This has been one of the hardest years for my daughter in particular. The youngest, she has fewer memories with her brother. This is a sizable loss and she is feeling it deeply. So what do you do when memories soften, or you don’t have them at all?
Make new ones.
There is so much healing power in acknowledging the memories we do have and then creating new memories with our loved ones in mind.
What types of new memory activities have helped your families to grieve with hope? Please comment below with ideas, support groups, personal experiences in your area.
Your suicide left my soul
deep within smothering grief,
stiffening clay against purpose.
But God worked his tears
into my sorrow, softening
bitterness with his love.
Forming from this cherished clay
a testimony of love, joy, and peace
for those tempted to despair.
Y’all might have noticed that I’ve been rather erratic in my posting. Moses, whom God is addressing in this scripture, waited 40 years to set the Hebrews free. He is in the palace, a perfect position! But when he thinks his opportunity has finally arrived he gets the calling very wrong. He sets only one person free through murder . . . nope, not God’s plan. So Moses flees and then waits another 40 years to be ready to return to Egypt to set God’s people free. While I don’t think God is going to make me wait as long to continue writing he definitely has me in a holding pattern.
A twofold dynamic is at play. One, I have few words currently surfacing, and two, my family needs my full attention. Several health issues have arisen and are needing quite a lot of appointments. Every time I sit down to write the words don’t come. And that is okay.
We need to relax in silent periods. Writing is my God-given gift of expression, I am secure in his purpose. If he is not putting the words into my mouth, I am quite sure he has a good reason. I trust him with this new leg of the journey, and besides, there have been joyous developments that I will get to share with you very soon.
When we are operating in the will of God, mighty things happen, even if we can’t do the very thing he calls us to do. The reason? God is good and faithfully maturing us to accomplish His will. It can become easy for me to lean hard into my own understanding of his purpose, but when I wait patiently on God, amazing things happen!
Trust that he loves to give you good things. Are you feeling flustered because a clear calling seems to be thwarted at every turn? Look back at the pattern he has established in your life. Is he growing you? Does he have a different road for you to take? Is he addressing a stumbling block?
Burning bushes often lead to our greatest conflicts, but when we wait patiently, we also witness spectacular displays of God’s sovereignty, provision, and salvation for many. I will joyously wait to lead His freedom march across the Red Sea.
Lord, you are preparing me for good things. I trust your direction. Address the stumbling blocks in my way. I see you tackling my fears, teaching me to trust you completely. Thank you for reminding me that your plan is good, even when detoured in a different direction. Amen
Frostbit by fear
I keep feeling
Dented by doubt
I keep driving
Burnt by bitterness I keep believing
Taunted by trials I keep trusting
Supported by scripture
I keep standing
because . . .
Condemned by cross
You kept carrying
Lifted by liars
You kept loving
Revealed by resurrection
You keep redeeming
No Regrets, Mother Mary
In honor of a friend who has just lost her daughter and grandson. Life is so precious.
Souls bubbling up,
gushing with undeserved love.
— the gospel of Spring.