Posts Categorized: podcast

Spiritual Heart Check

Spiritual Heart Check: Testimony

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:19

Turning My Page

What would happen if God took the contents of your heart and spilled them out on a table like security at an airport checkpoint and conducted a spiritual heart check? What would it reveal about you as it ran through the x-ray machine?

My son packed his metal airplane in his suitcase. Security had a chuckle as they ran it through security and questioned him about what type of plane it was and where it was flying today. Lately, God has turned my heart inside out and is examining the contents. Once again, I am facing my emotional nemesis: anger, bitterness, envy, and self-loathing.

But this time feels different, not a sudden revelation of my emotional baggage like it was thirteen years ago, as I accused God of being unjust. No, this emptying out feels like healing and putting into practice a deeper trust.

Healing because God wants to remove the sin that keeps tripping me up from running the course he has marked for me. This season is about trusting God’s character, submitting to his plan, and not leaning on my own understanding. He wants me to surrender to my weakness. Does it hurt? Yes. Will I be perfect in my execution of God’s will and purpose? No.

Just as God deemed David a man after his own heart when no one else could see David’s heart–not even a prophet–God understands what my heart needs. I am nervous, but also a tad bit excited. God reveals his plan and purpose to use me in mighty ways, not despite my weaknesses, but because of them. He activated that purpose from my mother’s wound, not when I get my act together.

Turning Your Page: Kathy’s Spiritual Heart Check

I met Kathy Collard Miller at Rebound Your Highest and immediately felt a connection. Scripture, personal experience, a sense of humor, gentle spirit–all the elements of a woman after God’s own heart were there. What does that mean, to be “after God’s own heart”?

So if anyone cleanses himself of what is unfit, he will be a vessel for honor: sanctified, useful to the Master, and prepared for every good work. Flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

2 Timothy 2:22

Any of us can pursue God, but it requires a turning away from those things that drag us down, hurt us, and separate us from God and for us to turn towards what pleases him.

Kathy thought she was alone in her out-of-control anger. She cried out for help and her life would never be the same. God taught Kathy how to turn away from sin and turn toward his love for her. Hear her testimony of transformation, and join us for a discussion at 7 pm on godly ways to deal with anger and any other emotion that feels out of control.

Lord, you are with me. Inspect my heart, find anything that hinders me from walking closely with you. Amen

Turning the Page on Suicide Podcast—Taking Deeper Breaths

Turning the Page on Suicide-Taking Deeper Breaths

Welcome to Turning the Page on Suicide. I apologize for the long absence. This evening I received a gentle reminder to post, even if I manage just a word or two.

In the first days of grieving my son’s suicide I posted every day, without fail. It may have been a few sentences, a poem or a thought, but there was something about the daily discipline of posting while experiencing despair. It was like taking a clean breath in the middle of thick stale air.

Tonight, it took swim lessons to remind me to breathe again. I am learning the different strokes in swimming because I am tired of panicking. As someone who almost drowned as a ten-year-old, I value air, but I have never learned how to relax when desperate. My instructor worked with me on not letting a bad breath ruin the next one.  Recovery takes practice, consistency and retraining muscles to value the oxygen given. Relaxing into each moment stretches out and strengthens the power in each breath. I stop fighting and start trusting the water.

Sorrow sneaks up on us and chokes our air with business, troubles, and even well-intentioned service. Maintain your breath. I know no other way but to spend time with Jesus, study his word, spend time in creation, connect with others and apply what I am learning. Writing and now swimming teaches me to breathe deeply, even if all I get in a day are a few deep cleansing breaths.

Challenge: What helps you to breathe? Drawing, hiking, sewing, reading. Pick an activity or explore something new and focus on taking deeper breaths of the experience. What do your senses tell you in the moment? Is it easier to connect with others when you breathe life more slowly and intentionally?

Your story is worth writing! I breathe, turn the page and find out what happens next.

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at