Surrounded by celebration
Under the illuminating lights of
Ressurection power, I
Recognize every blaring blemish
Endured on the cruel cross for me.
Naked truth. Stripped of
Distraction. Believe in Him. Abide in Him.
Enter into love so tangible death is
Rendered speechless. My ego submits
Eternally from self-indulgent glory to
Dance with deliberate delight before the one true king.
Somewhere between presence and depression
I stopped being and started doing.
Repeated lies and nursed wounds.
I checked out of Hotel Truth and
checked into the flea-infested Motel Fear.
There was no room service. No one changed the sheets
of self-loathing and cynicism I slept in day after day. I drank the
amber whisky of my own thoughts and called the burn enlightenment.
The knock was insistent, acknowledging my existence. Disrupted my
pathetic pattern.
The knock reached into the shadows of isolation.
“Hello?”
The knock again.
I cringed as if hit. “Go away!”
I hugged the closest bottle like it would ward
off the intruder.
The knock again was gentle violence to my demons.
The barrier to my soul shattered. Painfully stripped of all dignity
I was afraid you would reject me.
You came into my filth and saw me. All of me.
You, Oh Lord, washed me, clothed me in righteousness.
Confusion doesn’t even begin to explain that moment. I was so
secure in my destruction. You were secure in my salvation. Everything
shifted. My worldview, my understanding of grace, justice, flesh. But I wanted
your presence. Wanted you to fill me with your light until I craved nothing else.
You came into my dark world and prepared a banquet. I’m invited! You’re invited! Come! Come and
see what the Lord has done for me!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3;16
Conviction certain,
I trembled as the sentence was pronounced.
The death penalty was on the table.
“Overturned by my Love!”
A collective gasp, some shouted praise.
Others cursed this Judge who lets sinners
go unpunished. I went to my knees grateful.
When was the last time you hurt another person, lied, stole, shirked responsibility, but instead of receiving what you deserved the offended party extended grace? Did you experience relief? Did you rush out to tell everyone about the turn of events? Did you quietly savor freedom? There isn’t a single one of us who hasn’t wronged another person. In a time when there is a lot of side picking and pointing fingers, grace, love, and forgiveness may feel like foreign words. We seem so eager to condemn one another. But God set up from the moment we fell a way for redemption.
Jesus addressed both our sin and the proper way to address sin when the woman caught in adultery was brought before him for judgment:
And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
John 8:7,9-11 ESV
Anyone who experiences a conviction overturned by unconditional love is bound to be confronted by both their worth and the drastic damage of the sin patterns in their lives. When the future apostle, Peter, encountered the filling of his empty boat of fish, he fell to his knees and cried out, “Depart from me, I am a sinful man.” Encountering the unmerited love of Christ changes us. If you have experienced undeserved grace, forgiveness, or someone else took your punishment, spend some time journaling on the experience.
Lord, I don’t deserve your kindness, and yet you are kind to me. I have been your enemy and yet you accept me now as your child. Thank you for not treating me as my sins deserve and teach me to love others as you have cherished me. Amen
(There is a difference between sin and human mistakes. It is important to develop an understanding of what constitutes sin.)
Luke 18:16 But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
My kids, all three of them, have always wowed me with the depth of their questions and insights. The latest was “Do animals have souls.” Followed up with “Are there animals in hell?” The former I have also asked, the latter I had never thought of.
Today, Daniel and Natalie were asking what it takes to get to heaven.
Me: Accepting Jesus into your heart.
Daniel: What does that mean?
Me: That you listen to Jesus and allow him to be the leader of everything you do.
Daniel: You know, I was thinking about that the other day while in the bath tub. (Mommy note: Many great thinking is done in the bathroom, I am convinced of that!) Satan thinks that he is leading you miles and miles away from God. But, with God you are always at 0 miles away. You can turn to him at any time.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/