Abracadabra! Turning my “what ifs” into choices I can live with

Missing Jonathan the past two days. I have had such a reprieve over most of Christmas that the intense heartache is consuming my mind. It is hard to keep the “what ifs” at bay.

No matter what your current circumstances there can always be “what ifs” asked. As I attempted to lasso my thoughts the clear answer is “but I didn’t”. The what if’s are infinite, but the “I dids” are finite. Can I live with my choices?

Some of us spend much of our times going through all the scenarios of the things we didn’t choose. What if I had chosen to take that job, or marry James instead of John, and on and on it goes.

Jesus lived with the choices that he made. That wasn’t because he didn’t have “what ifs”; he trusted his heavenly father completely with all of his choices. At the heart of every moment of his time on this earth was loving God and loving his neighbor as himself. Those are the best choices that we can make.

I am imperfect, but I certainly love God and love my children. . . and where I am weak, well those are the places that I hope that Christ shines brightest. Christ is the author and perfector of my faith, as I grow in love I will have fewer what ifs and more confidence in the I dids. For now, I take confidence in what Christ did for me.

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bkmoore

I lost my son to suicide. Each day since, I commit my day to turning the page and continuing to write my story. There is no deeper grief, but I know too, that there is no greater hope than bringing life out of death. I offer each page to you as a testimony that there is hope for abundant life!

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