Today has not ended as it began. I was down, really down. I mean so far down that the enemy attempted to take ground long since won in my life. It was that way until just an hour ago when I went to my once a month survivor’s group. I felt so dead inside as I walked into that crowded room. It seemed like each person touched a different part of my heartache and gave me permission to be where I am. As I left I determined two things.

1. It is okay for me to enjoy life ( Jonathan would dismiss what I now see as guilt for living as silly.)

2. It is okay for others to be where they are. Not everyone will understand my grief and I don’t want them to, because if they did, it would mean that they too have lost a child to suicide.

2 comments

  1. Praying for you. I also shared your page with my husband’s ex-wife. Her significant other had a 30 yr old son that just took his life last weekend. It’s been a hard thing for their family, and not having solid information from the authorities involved. They think it may have even been an accident (he was a former marine and suffered from PTSD and night terrors). Regardless, they are suffering in this unique way that not everyone can understand. I shared your blog and hope they will eventually find comfort in our God and Savior through your words.
    God bless you Karisa.

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