Proverbs 3:3Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4So you will find favor and good successa
in the sight of God and man.
5Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
7Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your fleshb
and refreshmentc to your bones.
As I type the sun is streaming through my window, greeting me with the joy of my heavenly father. For this first year I have felt crushed by my circumstances. My goal of grieving with hope constantly weighed down by my lack of trust in God’s ways. Last night I turned a difficult corner. My sorrow, doubts and fears lay on the altar ready at last to submit to God’s will. He will produce glory from my son’s death. There is no more question mark. I can relax into his purpose because it is no longer at odds with my purpose. I want what he wants, not the other way around. “He is not a tame lion, but he is good.” (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) I can trust his goodness even if his ways are not my ways.
I cannot emphasis enough that this has come about through meditating on scripture. The verses that I have been reading since Jonathan’s death establish God’s sovereignty in my circumstances, his foundation of love, his goodness and that his will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Romans 8 helped me to determine that I want the Spirit of life to control me, not my sinful nature.
Now it is a matter of walking in the light of his path that he makes straight for me. He will show me where to go, and equip me to get there. Following his ways and leaning not on my own understanding will be healing to my body and refreshment to my bones.
Proverbs 3 My Role and God’s Role