Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Lord, help me to see you as more substantive then my sorrow, my depression. I see the evidence things not seen. I know you are here with me, but it is not enough to fuel my hope.

Father I know that you are good. Like Job I will be able to say that you giveth and take away, but still I will choose to say, blessed is the name of the Lord! But, also like Job I want curse the day I was born.

Master, I was not there when you lay the foundations of the earth! I cannot pretend to know the deep and mighty works of your hand. I cannot count the stars. I do not know how the caterpillar transforms to a butterfly.

I do not understand why you have taken so much from me. I do not pretend to know your purpose in so much grief. I cannot brace myself like a man and face you down like I am on level with you.

Father, I know that you hear my desperate cry! My body is so weary of this life. Daddy, please reveal to me your plan of salvation. Strengthen these bones that you have broken that I might be a witness of your glory! May the world see that you truly bless the believer 10 fold whatever you require from us.

Yes, you break us down, but you build us up on a new foundation–it will not shift like sand! The strength of our new structure of faith is stronger and more beautiful then anything we can build with our own hands. Father I want to be a mighty oak of righteousness, on display for your splendor. May your mighty works be fully met in me, that the world may know that you are a good, mighty, and a just God! Amen.

I feel so small!