Hearing God in the Silence of Grief
Romans 8:31What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us allâ€”how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who diedâ€”more than that, who was raised to lifeâ€”is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
â€œFor your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.â€j
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Itâ€™s the silence, after a house full of guests, that threatens to undo me. In grief, you brace yourself for the days of deepest memories, but the days that would have been routine, those are the days that crush bones. In these difficult days I grow best if I listen to what the new aspects of grief want to tell me.
I hear God calling me.
I am here,Â in this season of depression, toÂ shout that God makes a way through.Â I am being stretched and prepared to love more deeply than I ever thought possible, so that you know, beyond a shadow of doubt that God loves you. He has chosen you since before the beginning of creation! There is not a single second of your existence that does not matter to him.
Lean in and listen to the silence of your circumstances. AllowÂ God to teach you more about both loss and gain than you knew before. Grief can widen our hearts to love God and our neighbor more deeply or close us off. Perspective is the only difference. Do IÂ fix my eyes onÂ the evil ofÂ losing Jonathan, meant to harm me (which it was), or allowÂ God to transform my loss intoÂ good, for the salvation of many?Â Even typing these words are hard. I grapple with the untamed nature of God most when ask this question.
But, then I look at the son God did not spare. Was the cross evil. Yes. Was Jesus innocent. Yes. Did God spare Jesus. NoÂ What kind of God operates this way?Â I have heard again and again from people suffering the horrid torment of cancer that they felt God’s presence, and were able to love more deeply than before their cancer. What kind of God determines what is evil as being for the good of the world?
A God who is not limited by evil!Â A God who sent his own son to the pits of hell to save us. A God who gave us over to ourselves, but made a way for us to be better since the beginning of time. My God isn’t tame, he is dangerous to follow, but he is good! How glad that I am that God has never fit into my box, or been limited by what evil men do!
Listen to God’s call on your life and walk through the flames if that is where he leads. He may take you out of the furnace, he may take you through the furnace, or he might take you by the furnace, but one thing is certain,Â others will see himÂ standing with us as we walk in obedience to his will.
I’ve always loved your posts, but this one is even more real to me as I lost my mother unexpectedly last week. Caretaker of my father. And My very best friend. I’m trusting God but admit there have been many “why?” moments. Right now the business of taking care of matters and trying to figure out where dad will go is keeping me busy enough that I don’t have the free time to think about the reality of my missing mom. But in the quiet moments, or exciting when I normally would call my mom, those are the painful ones. I keep reciting psalm 23, and trusting the Lord who is always good.
It is in trusting the Lord who is always good that we become no longer afraid of our circumstances. My prayers are with you dear friend.