2 Samuel 19: 4 The king covered his face and cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!”
Are you favoring your wounds?
Today I began physical therapy and as the therapist began checking my range of motion she noted that my right leg was very stiff because I was favoring it. I didn’t want to feel the pain in my hip (excruciating), so I had been shying away from triggers. Muscle weakness was setting in, which only makes the problem worse. My muscles must be retrained and the goal is to reduce my pain. Strange, I thought that was my goal in babying it.
What are you avoiding because you have been deeply hurt? You feel the slightest pain reoccurring in your relationships, so you avoid them. You lost the job to a boss you trusted to promote you, but the promoted someone else, so you no longer give work your all. And maybe the deepest wound of all is from God. You trusted him to protect your child and now they are dead . . . So, I insulate myself from the pain and pull my little ones closer to do what God did not do. But, I testify that none of these things work. It is in putting ourselves out there, in doing the work, and stretching sore muscles that we grow stronger. It is likely I am feeling more pain in my hip because I have not pushed my muscles to improve. I am causing myself more pain by practicing avoidance!
King David was a man after God’s own heart, but he made some hugely poor choices with his children. David lost so much in his relationship with his children because of sinful choices. There’s and his. But when his son Absalom begged to see his father in an effort to reconcile, David refused to even see him. Thus, Absalom turned on David and ultimately lost his life. And now, David mourns. He didn’t avoid the pain, he made it worse!
Joab warns David that he will lose his kingdom if he does not make his broken relationships right with his supporters. He can keep mourning Absalom, or the king can restore and be restored to his kingdom. Sigh, this is such a difficult lesson for any of us. It is much easier to keep spiraling downward, but Jesus came that we may have life to the fullest. Take a look at all the men and women he helped to change course. Peter, Matthew, Zacchaeus, the woman at the well, the outcasts of society, his own family, and the thief on the cross. This means at any point we can turn, stop mourning past sin, past loss, and past hurts and gain the glorious future God has for us.
I need to let go of operating in this life with a “perfect” body, and allow God to teach me to nurture care for and heal the one I have. I have spent forty years abusing my body. I can’t undo that. God is faithful in my weakness and he has promised healing.
What do you need to let go of today?