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When Your Thoughts Are a Horror Film

“My heart staggers; fear makes me tremble. The twilight of my desire has turned to horror” (Isaiah 21:4 NIV).

Awoke this morning to images of my dead son. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does sometimes I can move my brain to dwell on God’s goodness. Other times I cannot.

God planted some new book ideas last night. A great blessing. But, this new, potential series takes me back to those first days and once those cataloged images are opened some unwanted ones come with it. So what do I do when my thoughts are uncontrollable?


  1. Take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.
    1. Meditate on scriptures
    2. Speak truth over my thoughts
      1. I was up late discussing my son
      2. Made connections with other men and women who have similar stories
      3. Was encouraged by their stories
      4. Walked away with ideas for new books
    3. Share my struggle with my support team
    4. Pray
  2. Pour out my complaint before God.
    1. Lord, I am struggling with my thoughts this morning. I acknowledge that I want Jonathan alive and here. He is not. What do you want me to learn from my son’s death? Is there anything I need to see differently in light of your love? Father, the enemy seeks to destroy my rest and trust in you. Guide my heart and mind to your truth that I may share your trustworthiness in a deeper way.  Amen.
  3. Repeat
    1. Sometimes a spirit of fear does not leave easily or quickly. Does a lion just quit when she doesn’t get her prey on the first try? We have an enemy seeking to devour us, and our thoughts are a place he will pursue relentlessly because they are the stronghold of God.
    2. Fortify my weakened soul.
      1. Rest
      2. Be careful what I watch
      3. Drink plenty of water
      4. Spend time with family and friends


We cannot always help where thoughts may go in grief. But, we do not have to stay there. What are your current thoughts revealing? How can you develop the mind of Christ in your difficult circumstances? Who is your support team? Reach out, make them aware of your struggle.


May your minds rest in the truth of whose you are.

Published indepressiondevotionalfaithsuicideUncategorized

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