Posts Tagged: dreams

Dream Bigger

Dream Bigger

This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG)

Turning My Page on Dreams

Christmas came early for Turning the Page on Suicide and I am excited to unwrap it with you!

God asked me to dream bigger this year and this website is a part of His vision of hope. To dream bigger took steps of obedience, and with every movement deeper into trusting God’s plan, I saw new possibilities unfold before me. From color pallets to establishing a clearer mission, every aspect I found myself catching my breath with awe and joy. A joy that keeps appearing as a result of finding Christ faithful in hardships. I continue to get to know He is trustworthy, no matter where my journey takes me.

poem of hope

Jesus helps us shed despair

The imperfect family pose on my landing page reflects intense wrestling with life and the joy we experience in the midst. I had a “perfect” family pose loaded, but God asked me to use this one instead. My husband was suffering from severe vertigo and headaches. My son Daniel, who we believe suffers from the same disease that attacked Jonathan’s mind, body, and spirit, had frequent bouts of pain and intense emotional outbursts.

That same summer, my joy-filled daughter began a severe spiral downward in stomach pain to the point she struggled to eat, and I was overwhelmed with fear at losing them. All of us struggled to smile. Yet, at that moment, my son turned his head to blow raspberries at his dad and we broke into laughter. That picture serves as a reminder to me, as well as to you that God does not expect perfection. He expects us to show up as we are and take the next step before us.

And in those moments, in those places, we don’t feel like smiling. Joy appears.

May this website serve as a constant reminder to come as you are, yes there is sorrow here, but there is also joy. God is rewriting what the enemy meant for evil in my family and revealing treasures through pain and suffering. God has the power to rewrite your story. I testify hope still exists in darkness, in places that feel void of dreams. God is dreaming bigger for me, and I am so grateful he is inviting me in to witness his plan come to fruition.

Many thanks to the Blogging Bistro Team for bringing the mental health resource vision to life.

Turning Your Page to Dream Bigger

Is God asking you to dream bigger? Part of our ability to dream bigger is to know the dream giver. Joseph of the Old Testament was given dreams, even the ability to interpret dreams, and yet he did not interpret his own dreams correctly. As he got to know the character of God through his suffering, felt God’s provision even though years passed before the dreams came true, he came to give God glory, come what may. Only when the dream came true could he tell his brothers, who had sold him into slavery,”

And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt” (Genesis 45:7-8 ESV).

  • What are the current ways you feel that you are suffering?
  • What do you already know about God’s character and purpose for suffering?
    • Philippians 2:5-11
    • 1 Peter 3:14
    • 2 Corinthians 4:17
  • Do you have a person in your life who appears to be suffering well? What characteristics do you see in them? How are they dreaming bigger in their suffering?

Lord, may I get to know your character so well, that I trust where you lead and open my mind, heart, and actions to your bigger dreams for me. Amen

I Didn’t Press Replay

I didn’t press replay but, there you were

smirking in my dreams, and I search each one

hoping to find a clue.

By the Sweat of His Brow

Depression desperately looks for the exits

from the sweat of our nightmares.

You entered our fear driven world

and sweat blood of understanding

as you stayed, all in, the flesh of our circumstances.

Proving that you can resurrect us from the terror of our troubles.

Aired Out

Sucking in the stale air

of depression, regurgitating

regret day after day.


Throw open windows!


You broke the seal of

our tomb of circumstances.

Resurrect the fresh fragrance

of hope planted in the sunshine of our dreams.

Filter life through the curtains of our mourning soul

and invite us to

open our eyes to Spring.

Grief in Nightmares

I don’t sleep much, and when I do it is filled with nightmares. I don’t need a Halloween, my eyes are already pried open to the horrors of life. Feeling pretty down right now.

I dreamed this week that I was in a pool swimming and everything was bright and cheerful, but there was this constant darkness I  strained to hold at bay. Suddenly Jonathan appeared. All he wanted to do was swim with us, but I wanted desperately to talk to him. We got out the pool and Jonathan was trying to explain why he died. It made perfect sense as he was telling me, but I don’t remember what he said and I wish I could remember.

Sowing in Tears = a Joyful Harvest

Psalm 126:6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

I dreamed about Jonathan last night. We were so excited to see him, but I knew it was only temporary so I invited everyone to visit him, hug him and we loved and laughed deeply together. It felt so good to see him, healthy, happy and whole. And then I quietly said my good-bye and turned away releasing the memory of him to where I now know it belongs.

There is such a shift in my heartache. It well never leave me, but there is an acceptance that I’m different and becoming a better person not in spite of the anguish of loss, but as a result of. How many years do we spend running from the painful things in our lives? If you are like me, our past is littered with brokenness. It can be so easy to slip into a cycle of short-sightedness and forget that God sows seeds through generations. Sometimes we sow tears for many years, but oh the harvest we reap when we do not give up!

Joseph, from the Old Testament, sowed tears for just shy of 20 years, before he saw his dream fulfilled. And Israel would later sow tears for 400 years before they were freed from slavery. The whole world had to wait for thousands of years before the promised Messiah would come and free us from the consequences of sin. Jesus sowed in tears. I am a part of his harvest.

Why does a good and loving God operate this way? Why does he allow pain and suffering? Why do we have to sow in tears? What if I told you WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW HAS THE POWER FOR THE REDEMPTION OF MANY! Would you believe me? Would you keep sowing in the midst of your depression? There are many witnesses who have gone before me to testify that there most painful times were when they drew the closest to Christ, grew in belief and action, and began to anticipate a larger harvest. I have seen first hand God’s hand move in the lives plagued by deepest despair (cancer, divorce, death of a husband or child, natural disaster). In Psalm 126, the psalmist is celebrating the restoration of Israel’s fortunes and he shares three crucial elements that are true in the deepest, darkest moments we go through. 1.We will be filled with joy and laughter again. 2. The Lord is aware of our planting. 3. We will reap and the nations will take notice of the difference in us

This is at the core of grieving with hope!

I Don’t Need a Diviner of Dreams: I need Jesus

Jeremiah 27: 9“But as for you, do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your dreamers, your soothsayers or your sorcerers who speak to you, saying, ‘You will not serve the king of Babylon.’ 10“For they prophesy a lie to you in order to remove you far from your land; and I will drive you out and you will perish.…

For an entire week I have dreamed about my son and his dad. In my year of grieving I have never dreamed about my ex and have had inconsistent dreams about Jonathan. Dreams are a tough call when it comes to interpretation, some are from God, and some are not. Are these?

As I research dreams in scripture, it is clear that many people have been lead astray by dreamers and interpreter of dreams. I am one of those people. I have had vivid dreams since I was a child. Most of them were night terrors or nightmares. As I got older I searched for answers in dream books. At no time did I think of asking God. In fact my searches took me further and further away from him.

We have all kinds of mediums, psychics, etc. today. I have had my palm read (none of which came true), been tempted by witchcraft (until I felt the depth of evil I was messing with), and been fascinated by dream interpretations. All of these men and women offer us quick fixes to long term problems. They don’t see how our story fits into the big picture, nor how the difficult things we avoid, may be the very things we must, and need to go through to achieve the greater good. They are just like us, men and women trying to make sense of circumstances that at times, feel beyond our control. We need someone who isn’t motivated by selfish desires, who isn’t into “truth telling” for the money, who risks loosing it all to bring us the truth of God. Men like Joseph, Daniel, and Joseph the step-father of Jesus had dreams clearly considered from God. Why is that? Scripture doesn’t say why these men dreamed and interpreted dreams differently than the rest. But, it does say that God was with them, gave them favor, and they gave him the glory.

Who are we seeking for answers? Are they giving God the glory, themselves, or Satan? I don’t need an interpreter of dreams to know that I am to pray for my ex, forgive him, and show compassion towards him and my mind battles with selfish desires–holding on to anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Lord, I ask that you would give me the strength to forgive others as you forgave me. Amen

Dusty Realities

Dreams–dusty realities

removing time and distance

Like a movement of dissidence, tucked into a symphony of

reason. You are a memory that makes no sense, resurrected by heartache,

sewn together by longing, until the persistent alarm shatters my dreams

to a heavy concrete world without you.

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at