I thought i was re-fuse
garbage for one to recycle
at best, and reject
at worst. But You re-purpose
me, shape my redemption
into refined reality.
Posts Tagged: faith
Your suicide left my soul
deep within smothering grief,
stiffening clay against purpose.
But God worked his tears
into my sorrow, softening
bitterness with his love.
Forming from this cherished clay
a testimony of love, joy, and peace
for those tempted to despair.
Scripture:
Exodus 4:15 5“You are to speak to him and put the words in his mouth; and I, even I, will be with your mouth and his mouth, and I will teach you what you are to do...
Devotional:
Y’all might have noticed that I’ve been rather erratic in my posting. Moses, whom God is addressing in this scripture, waited 40 years to set the Hebrews free. He is in the palace, a perfect position! But when he thinks his opportunity has finally arrived he gets the calling very wrong. He sets only one person free through murder . . . nope, not God’s plan. So Moses flees and then waits another 40 years to be ready to return to Egypt to set God’s people free. While I don’t think God is going to make me wait as long to continue writing he definitely has me in a holding pattern.
A twofold dynamic is at play. One, I have few words currently surfacing, and two, my family needs my full attention. Several health issues have arisen and are needing quite a lot of appointments. Every time I sit down to write the words don’t come. And that is okay.
We need to relax in silent periods. Writing is my God-given gift of expression, I am secure in his purpose. If he is not putting the words into my mouth, I am quite sure he has a good reason. I trust him with this new leg of the journey, and besides, there have been joyous developments that I will get to share with you very soon.
When we are operating in the will of God, mighty things happen, even if we can’t do the very thing he calls us to do. The reason? God is good and faithfully maturing us to accomplish His will. It can become easy for me to lean hard into my own understanding of his purpose, but when I wait patiently on God, amazing things happen!
Trust that he loves to give you good things. Are you feeling flustered because a clear calling seems to be thwarted at every turn?  Look back at the pattern he has established in your life. Is he growing you? Does he have a different road for you to take? Is he addressing a stumbling block?
Burning bushes often lead to our greatest conflicts, but when we wait patiently, we also witness spectacular displays of God’s sovereignty, provision, and salvation for many. I will joyously wait to lead His freedom march across the Red Sea.
Prayer:
Lord, you are preparing me for good things. I trust your direction. Address the stumbling blocks in my way. I see you tackling my fears, teaching me to trust you completely. Thank you for reminding me that your plan is good, even when detoured in a different direction. Amen
Frostbit by fear
I keep feeling
Dented by doubt
I keep driving
   Burnt by bitterness                                         I keep believing
   Taunted by trials                                           I keep trusting
Supported by scripture
I keep standing
because . . .
Condemned by cross
You kept carrying
Lifted by liars
You kept loving
Revealed by resurrection
You keep redeeming
Souls bubbling up,
gushing with undeserved love.
—the gospel of Spring.
Scripture
Mark 5:28,34 For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.†. . . And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.â€
Devotional
Yesterday could be summed up in one word.
Overwhelmed.
Many of you have been praying for my family, and I thank you deeply. It has been a very rough week. My pain and insomnia are so severe that I can’t function very well. By the time I made it for my son’s archery practice, my body and mind had enough. I melted down into tears and couldn’t stop them from coming.
Just a glance at my webpage tabs yesterday, would tell you what I spent my day doing. On the one side were scriptures and commentary on the woman who touched the hem of Jesus’ garments to be healed, and on the other multiple medical sites were open researching answers for my family’s myriad of illnesses. The woman who had sought medical care had spent 12 years without relief. She was an outcast and now broke with failed medical treatments. I think she might have shed some major tears. Then she hears about this great healer . . . he’s the answer, I just know it!
Do you and I know Jesus is the answer? And if we do, do we also remember that his plan is good for us? Are you wrestling with a God who just will not fit into a nicely wrapped box? Do you believe that his purposes are greater than your circumstances?
The weight of my family’s health is so heavy that it feels as if my faith might break. I want an outward manifestation that God is good, but I realized last night that I don’t need to touch the hem of Christ’s garment, I have HIM in my heart. Do not take for granted that the greatest miracle in our lives is that when we believe, Jesus chooses to dwell with us. No more law to get to God, the answers are all right there, living with us! Amazing!
So as I close the medical tabs of anxious searching this morning, and determine to trust God’s perfect plan. Maybe he does an outward healing, but I can tell you this much for sure. Our family is changing from the inside out.
We cannot always help the moments of wrestling with flesh, the world, our enemy–we live in the crowded, smog filled, faith-challenging world. But, don’t spiral into fear, depression, and despair because God isn’t answering the way we think he should. A friend reminded me last night, what is God’s greater purpose in my circumstances?
The growth in my family spiritually has been noticeable. My book is in the hands of the publisher. And I certainly can speak bold encouragement into your lives. None of my physical circumstances have changed this morning, but God is giving peace from the inside out.
Hit the mark of faith. We’ve stepped out of the boat, but we still have to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.
Prayer:
Father, you are faithful. Help us to deeply root our trust into the rich soil of your promises. When our eyes fail us, help us to breathe in your testimony of miracles. You still do them today! Break the chains of depression that say God will never measure up to our expectations. Thank you for changing my family from the inside out! Amen
Writing/ Photography Prompt: Spring in February
Psalm 68:9Â You shed abroad a plentiful rain, O God; You confirmed Your inheritance when it was parched.
This has been a long depressing winter for many of us. There has been a lot of evil rearing its head, thinking that lives taken end the story. Let’s prove our enemy wrong. Find signs of spring in a photograph, poem, or both. Pingback to this link so that we may encourage and remember that our sorrows last for but a while.
i didn’t know this
was my starting place
until You ended my suffering.
This yanking war of soul and flesh
Soothed to peace by Your sacrifice.
I became a fledgling paragraph developing purpose
in the womb of just one word
hope
When demanding circumstances
have tattered faith and still
the needs of today grab.
You invite my soul to
sail. A sea of stillness,
where none can touch,
there restore with sweet
and salty parables of faithfulness.
2 Corinthians 5:21 God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. 6 For at just the right time, while we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 It is rare indeed for anyone to die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.…
When was the last time you fought dirty for the one’s you love? Or for an enemy? I’m not talking cheating, I am talking about getting dirt under the nails, sweating, and digging deep into all you’ve got and then giving some more. Valuing that spouse who has hurt you deeply. Treating the bully at work with kindness. Fighting dirty is not based upon changed behavior, it is deeply rooted in who Christ is in us!
We love because he first loved us. God didn’t just give us a list of do’s and don’ts, pat us on the back, and send us on our way. He was and is involved in creation! So much so, that at just the right time, while we were still sinning he came to earth in the form of a human child. He experienced sweat, he had splinters in his skin, and scars on his back from loving us. He knew our struggle with temptation. He knew we were oppressed, and he knew our depression. He fought dirty for us!!
Depression, suicide, hopelessness is a dark and dingy place, because hopelessness is wrapped in lies about our identity and the character of God. I was once smothered in those lies. My son died in those lies. How do we counter such a devious and destructive attack that often begins when we are children?! We battle by getting to know the character of God and acting on the hope he offers to us.
I didn’t know God. Scripture is like sitting across from God and hearing him tell his side of the story. Prayer is a constant conversation (both speaking and listening) with God. Fellowship with other in process believers encourages, challenges, and brings me out of my shell. This is my foundation. As a result, I can’t sit idly by and put on blinders to the suffering of others. I have my hands in the dirt of humanity. Be all in because God was all in for us!
Let me know your story in the comments. How can I fight dirty for you!?
National Suicide Hotline
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/