Posts Tagged: lord

Psalm 139: God’s Complete Physical

Lord, you have given me a complete physical and you know the state of my mind, body, and soul.

My daily planner lays open before you.

My thoughts are front page news as you sip your morning coffee.

When I leave for work, or shut the computer down for the night, you observe.

The bottom line, you have made my life your business.

My words are filtered through your righteousness.

and you determine their worth.

 

You have a 360 degree view–there is not a side of me hidden from you.

I don’t get a personal bubble.

I don’t understand why you are so intimately involved and I’m not sure

I want to.

 

There is no escaping your activity in my life. Your Spirit is everywhere!

Of course you are in charge of the heavens,

and I can’t find a bunker deep enough to hide from you.

I can sit in first class on American and you are there.

You are the navigator of my ship directing my course, like a

father with his child, through a sea of people I could easily be lost in.

 

Let’s face it, I can’t play pick-a-boo with You.

You are a giant flashlight illuminating my soul.

 

In fact, You sewed my soul together, in my

mother’s womb.

You hold the first 4-D image

of who I am.

And you give your stamp of approval,

who am I to argue with that!

 

When I was nothing more than a lump of clay, you

knew what I would become.

You have the first edition of my life

before a word was ever written.

 

I am eager to know your thoughts.

I do not have a databank

large enough to contain them.

That you choose to share your plans

with me when I awake, amazing!

 

So why do my enemies come between us!

Please remove them, I can’t stop thinking about

their threats and schemes.

Haven’t I obeyed you, and they have not.

Ultimately I know their fight is with you.

When they stand against me, they stand

against you.

 

We are back to the beginning. Since You know me so well, you know

that I fear how strong my enemy seems. If there is anything that offends you remove

it so that you stay my companion forever.

 

 

Stop to Watch the Fish Jump: Our Elijah Moment

1 Kings 19:…11So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.

Sometimes we need normal, in an abnormal life.

By normal I mean that some of the best moments in life come in plain packages. Ours came in the shape of a random park on the edge of a lake in the middle of Houston. My husband wisely realized that the kids needed time to run and play after touring and being in and out of the car for a couple of days. Like Elijah, we were exhausted from the constant barrage of sickness and difficulty we are experiencing. We needed a respite.

Chasing each other, climbing, and exploring was just what we all needed to lay bare our wounds before God and allow him to feed our souls. What we didn’t expect was the hour of delight my kids took in watching the numerous fish jumping in the lake. They squealed with laughter when a fish jumped close to the dock and splashed them. Brian and I sat on a dock bench, enjoying our kids and sharing the quiet moment to worship together. It was easier to hear God.

“I am here and just as I provide for these fish, I am and always will be your sustainer.”

“Operation Texas” is preparing us for the new aspects of our journey! Just like Elijah, we came back better, refreshed in spirit, and aware that we are not alone.

DSC00689

The tree won’t save you!

 

A Moment to Cry Out

“His middle name should be Patrick.” Jonathan said as I shared with him he was going to have a baby brother.

I liked the sound of Patrick, it fit well with Daniel. “Why Patrick?” I asked.

“Because your Irish, and this is one lucky baby!” Jonathan declared.

 

I have been insulating myself lately with numbness, but sooner or later the feeling creeps back in. My soul is crying out in anguish today. I miss you desperately my son. The only thing for my brokenness is to climb into my Daddy’s lap and allow him to rock me with the lullaby of scripture.

Psalm 13:5But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. 6I will sing to the LORD, Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 69:3 I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God.. . 13But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.

Psalm 119:41 …40 Behold, I long for Your precepts; Revive me through Your righteousness. Vav. 41May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O LORD, Your salvation according to Your word; 42So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me, For I trust in Your word.…

Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness. 4“Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel! Again you will take up your tambourines, And go forth to the dances of the merrymakers.…

 

Delivered from the Dead Life

Romans 8: 9You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.10But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesusd from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. (ESV)

9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s! (The Message)
Clearly, I sit close to death. My tent pegs are set in the valley of the shadow of death. My campfire struggles against the icy blasts of the grave . . . but it does not go out! For the past few days I have been looking at my surroundings and asking, “Why have you placed me here Lord?” I question, not out of complaint, but out of a genuine desire to understand God’s purpose. I want to fully participate in his plan of salvation.
God is delivering me from the dead life by causing me to die completely to self. I know, weird right. But, think about this, when a surgeon is doing a heart surgery they most often stop your heart in order to repair or replace what isn’t working. God operates on our bodies in much the same way.
In this valley of the shadow of death, God is removing all fear. I have some hardcore fleshly reflexes that hinder my spirit from living life to the fullest. God is using my near death experiences to open my eyes to the power that heaven has here on earth, right now.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven . . . (Lord’s prayer)
I’ve said that phrase almost 2,000 times since my birth and I only have a cursory understanding of its meaning. I’ve met men and women who bridge the divide of heaven and earth. I’ve witnessed their discipline and drive towards obedience to the Lord’s will. This is not just a “because he is Jesus” prayer! He invited his disciples into heaven’s activities, which means that it is possible for the rest of us. There is no elite Christian team! We are all ragamuffins, capable of bringing down giants when we die to self and live for Christ.
Lord, reveal heaven to me and may I have the eyes to see your glory on earth. Amen!

 

One Necessary Thing

Luke 10:41But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42but one thing is necessary.

Mind distracted by obligation,

hands and heart

splintered bitter in our scrambling to sustain

God,

who chooses to dwell with us.

 

“Relate to me.

Receive my love Martha.

Sit with me and

Unwrap my presence.

I am your satisfaction, your great reward.

Need nothing more.”

 

 

 

A Prayer of Surrender

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

 

Lord, help me to see you as more substantive then my sorrow, my depression. I see the evidence things not seen. I know you are here with me, but it is not enough to fuel my hope.

Father I know that you are good. Like Job I will be able to say that you giveth and take away, but still I will choose to say, blessed is the name of the Lord! But, also like Job I want curse the day I was born.

Master, I was not there when you lay the foundations of the earth! I cannot pretend to know the deep and mighty works of your hand. I cannot count the stars. I do not know how the caterpillar transforms to a butterfly.

I do not understand why you have taken so much from me. I do not pretend to know your purpose in so much grief. I cannot brace myself like a man and face you down like I am on level with you.

Father, I know that you hear my desperate cry! My body is so weary of this life. Daddy, please reveal to me your plan of salvation. Strengthen these bones that you have broken that I might be a witness of your glory! May the world see that you truly bless the believer 10 fold whatever you require from us.

Yes, you break us down, but you build us up on a new foundation–it will not shift like sand! The strength of our new structure of faith is stronger and more beautiful then anything we can build with our own hands. Father I want to be a mighty oak of righteousness, on display for your splendor. May your mighty works be fully met in me, that the world may know that you are a good, mighty, and a just God! Amen.

Sublime Perfective

I feel so small!

God’s Pregnant Laughter

Who is this God cutting covenant with me?

Walking the gauntlet of redemption

while I deeply slumber with doubt?

Who is this voice that plucks

me from polytheism. Patiently revealing

that he alone is my God?

I am the last picked.

Ripe with barrenness

No heirs

No further God

But my Lord is not impotent.

He

always has the

last impossible pregnant laugh.

Insomnia: No Match for Praise!

Job 42:1Then Job replied to the Lord:

2“I know that you can do all things;

no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

3You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’

Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,

things too wonderful for me to know.

After a week of insomnia it is a miracle that I have managed to accomplish quite a bit today. I look more like a zombie. . . maybe I should try to walk onto the set of The Walking Dead (I think I’d blend into the extras just fine). I have been reduced to crying out to God, day after day. Give me rest! May you sustain me! May you be enough for me! Provide just enough for me today!

Have you been reduced to nothing in your flesh? You have come to the end of what you physically can push through. Like Job we want to sit on the ash heap of everything that meant something to us, and curse the day we are born. Just as God showed himself to Job, he gave gentle direction today. As I worked on the breakfast dishes the Lord flashed images of things to praise him for, and as I did, I found the energy to accomplish what is in front of me. Now I must praise him in my sleep.

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/