On this day
You knit motherhood into my soul.
Sweeping away cobwebs
Of brokenness and rebellion.
Filling my world
With vivid colors I grew up missing.
You deepened my breath,
Made me reach deeper inside
For strength I had never explored,
Laughter never expressed,
Hope unquenchable
By death.
On this day
You made me a mother.
Not even the grave can swallow
My joy.
Turning Your Page
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13
Birthdays are beautiful opportunities to remember your loved one forward. Below are some suggestions I have done. Feel free to add to the list in the comments with how you remeber your loved one while pressing into making new memories.
Create a memorial garden
Take a family hike
Share a meal at their favorite restaurant
Encourage a neighbor
Visit someone who is lonely
Write a poem or story
Share funny stories
Plant a tree
Lord, this is the special day you made for me to remember my child. May nothing steal that joy and help me to press into the live you have given me. Amen
I could have stopped climbing motherhood, after you fell. Sat in the crag of grief and let death bury my scarred soul.
We were supposed to view this summit together. Your spirit strengthened and equipped, ready for the difficult ascents of adulthood. Teaching your siblings life is worth the climb.
You were my first heartbeat of adventure. My own fearful expanse of the impossible became a vibrant vista of God because you lived.
The struggles of life became another rock to conquer. And we did. I breathed joy more deeply because we grappled circumstances. Our pain revealed gems of truth—life to the fullest.
The muscles of motherhood burned when I first stretched out for the next handhold of hope after your death. The ache of loss—you lived—crumbled resolve beneath my feet.
Did I make a mistake in motherhood?
No, you grew in the rich valley of youth. Stumbled, yes, but you scrambled back up, eager to learn. I look back at your tiny fingers wrapped around mine as I swung you up and wiped your tears. Every struggle was worth it.
The foothills became treacherous mountains. Required sturdier equipment, a deeper trust, training, and faith without seeing. I watched you climb further away, testing footholds that would not sustain.
Was letting you go a mistake?
I wipe my dusty tears and jump to the next ledge of trust. I was never meant to make secure your every step. God you are faithful. Sturdier in grief, because I loved.
Did I fail motherhood?
So many missteps. I watched in agony as your grip on life loosened. Motherhood stretched and strained to breaking. I prayed. Pleaded. Don’t give up. God catch him! Your life was a sunrise worth experiencing.
Does motherhood end?
No, because love always remembers life. Your laughter echoes in the canyons of my sorrow, the memories of your beautiful, valuable, life stirs my warrior cry of joy.
Was it worth it?
I climb this mountain of motherhood—gut it out to the fullest because my scraped knees of prayer and bruised soul of faith testify life is sacred, come what may.
Motherhood is worth the climb, even if I see the vistas of heaven without you.
Motherhood is Worth the Pain
Turning Your Page
… but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
John 19:25-27, ESV
Motherhood tests every spiritual and physical muscle you have. Your children may be grateful. They may hate you. Keep a short account. Be humble to admit when you are wrong. Embrace, love and hold them when their hearts are broken by this life. Celebrate life.
Do your best to steward your children, but know their life is their own. Motherhood is worth every bump, bruise, and yes, sometimes even loss.
What is motherhood like for you right now? Be honest with any bitterness you feel. Record what you love about moments with your children.
Pray for your children by name. Stormie Omartian has books that guide scripture prayers over your children. These are an immense help and encouragement in spiritual battles.
Your children have an enemy and they need you to fight well. Equip yourselves and gather others to pray and support you.
Write a story, poem, or list out scriptures that describe motherhood.
Father, motherhood is a mixture of pain and joy, love, and sacrifice. Help me to value the good moments and let go of attempting to control the outcome for my children. May your love be enough. Amen
Hold me Lord, as grief empties me of child, and yanks soul to the floor. Cover my naked sorrow with your lullaby of peace, and drench me in your tears of understanding.
Turning Your Page
“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”
Matthew 6:28, ESV
Life, as you expected, may have just crumbled. Tears. Jesus sobs with you. That loss you think he doesn’t care about, that you judge as God’s cruelness, heaven mourns. Not a sparrow. Not a sweet child leaves this earth without his knowing. Without his weeping the losss.
Who in your circle of influence is mourning a loss today? Cry with them. Hold them in the bone crushing shock of grief. Comfort with the comfort you have been given.
If you don’t yet know how to comfort another in their loss, slow down, study scripture, and ask God to guide you. Ask others who have grieved what brought them the most comfort.
Lord, teach my soul to mourn with those that mourn, and rejoice with those who rejoice. Amen
