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Posts Tagged: turning the page on suicide

Freedom Starts With Hope

Posted February 23, 2021 | Karisa Moore

Freedom starts with hope. Realizing the power of trust, belief, and faith, inherent in the word has kept me reaching out and allowing others to reach in no matter what crisis comes my way. I have been struggling lately. Sometimes I forget to keep my hope in Jesus and start looking to others or my own ways of self-medicating. These are moments. Despair has an end and knowing that I can turn from sin and embrace the truth of God’s promises, come what may.

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.

Romans 8:20-21 ESV

Turning My Page: Freedom Starts With Hope

Hope.

I have struggled to write for months, and the excuses have piled up.

My house is a mess
I’m not sleeping
My physical health is deteriorating
Grieving my grandmother
I am a burden to others

This week, the Holy Spirit interrupted my unconscious mantra and reminded me that I have a vast vocabulary–start with one word. Moving beyond writer’s block, depression, or any other block in my life starts with HOPE.

I may not see the fruits of my hope right away, but the seeds exist. I write one word, and then another, and another and before long I am looking back at the obstacle rather than having it firmly planted in front of me.

My hope in all things is found in Jesus Christ, so yesterday and today, I confessed my depressed state and tuned my heart to my Savior’s voice through scripture.

Worked on memorizing Romans 8
Prayed for my family who is grieving the loss of our grandmother
Acknowledged I am substituting food and mindless activities for the comfort of Christ in my grief
Went to bed and trusted that God would give me the needed rest
Set healthy boundaries with my children
Chose a few small ways to attack the mess of my home
Rested
Fasted

One of the first things the Spirit of Despair attacks is the healthy habits I form.

Notice my list above. I stopped having time in scripture. The house was a deep hole of undone chores, so why try. I avoided grief through food and TV. While these things give me temporary relief, they will never give me lasting help or draw me from the pit of hopelessness because I will always need more and more of those things and accomplish nothing by escaping through them. They do not feed me, mind, body, and spirit.

I know this because at age twenty I almost succeeded in taking my own life. That moment was the cumulation of all my attempts to deal with life’s hardships and pain by burying it and not pressing into hope. At that moment I recognized, rightly, that nothing in this world would make me feel better, but did not press into hope in Christ until the following year.

Only then did my life begin to look more hopeful. I started recognizing Christ died for all of the hardships I experienced and He would faithfully take all experiences and use them to lead others, and offer hope when others can’t yet see the potential. Placing hope in Jesus Christ meant my ultimate failure was not an option. No more throwing in the towel. I do not do this perfectly, but when my footing slips I gain it back more quickly and easily because hope has become the pattern of my life rather than the exception.

Turning Your Page

Freedom starts with hope.

That hope does not disappoint. You may not yet see the fruits of pushing back against the doubts or feel anything will change. Hope is powerful! It gives you space and opportunity to discover resources, mankind to reach in and help, and develops muscles of trust. We will get to the other side of our experiences because nothing separates us from the love of Jesus (Romans 8:28). Nothing and no one will ever be able to steal that freedom from you.

What are some of your favorite promises in scripture?
Look at the definition of the root word of depression and compare it to the definition for hope.
- Journal about the difference and similarities between the two.
- What are some antonyms of each?
Pick an antonym of “depress”, such as rejoice, and begin practicing daily.

Lord, I want to cease spiraling into despair. Help me to look up from the pit and see that all things are possible through you. I’ll hold on until they happen as you promised. Amen

Conviction Overturned by Love

Posted January 21, 2021 | Karisa Moore

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 3;16

Turning My Page: Conviction Overturned by Love

Conviction certain,
I trembled as the sentence was pronounced.
The death penalty was on the table.
“Overturned by my Love!”
A collective gasp, some shouted praise.
Others cursed this Judge who lets sinners
go unpunished. I went to my knees grateful.

Turning Your Page

When was the last time you hurt another person, lied, stole, shirked responsibility, but instead of receiving what you deserved the offended party extended grace? Did you experience relief? Did you rush out to tell everyone about the turn of events? Did you quietly savor freedom? There isn’t a single one of us who hasn’t wronged another person. In a time when there is a lot of side picking and pointing fingers, grace, love, and forgiveness may feel like foreign words. We seem so eager to condemn one another. But God set up from the moment we fell a way for redemption.

Jesus addressed both our sin and the proper way to address sin when the woman caught in adultery was brought before him for judgment:

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

John 8:7,9-11 ESV

This woman probably went away living and loving others differently.

Anyone who experiences a conviction overturned by unconditional love is bound to be confronted by both their worth and the drastic damage of the sin patterns in their lives. When the future apostle, Peter, encountered the filling of his empty boat of fish, he fell to his knees and cried out, “Depart from me, I am a sinful man.” Encountering the unmerited love of Christ changes us. If you have experienced undeserved grace, forgiveness, or someone else took your punishment, spend some time journaling on the experience.

What was your response to unmerited grace?
How did others treat you?
How did your heart or actions change towards others after the experience?

Lord, I don’t deserve your kindness, and yet you are kind to me. I have been your enemy and yet you accept me now as your child. Thank you for not treating me as my sins deserve and teach me to love others as you have cherished me. Amen

(There is a difference between sin and human mistakes. It is important to develop an understanding of what constitutes sin.)

Leaky Faucet of Hope

Posted January 14, 2021 | Karisa Moore

Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of God and who is asking you for a drink, you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”

John 4:10 ESV

I have been contemplating the ripple effect of hope a lot lately, and a recent leaky faucet that filled bucket after bucket until a tiny little gasket was replaced drove home the power in just a few steady drops. I have cards of encouragement from friends, scripture, the Holy Spirit’s prodding, all as constant reminders that Christ is still loving and offering hope to me today.

Turning My Page: Leaky Faucet of Hope

I AM the constant drip, drip of hope, stubbornly
rippling through centuries
of evil, lies, doubt, and fear.

Turning Your Page: The Constant Drip of Hope

For the woman Jesus encountered (on purpose) at the well, hope took the form of an age-old argument between Jew and Samaritan. It was such a bitter, divisive, and evil argument over where mankind truly worshiped God that the factions of believers in the One True God could barely speak to one another. Worse yet, this Samaritan woman had been with many men. In the world’s eyes, Jesus should not have even been speaking to her.

Jesus gave her a drop of water by speaking to her. Then another, by describing Himself as “living water”. Then He opened the door to the place of true worship, repentance, and hope in the Messiah. She didn’t just walk, she ran back to tell others of the Messiah. She is a ripple effect of hope in Jesus Christ!

What is hope like for you?
Does it have a color, texture, scent, etc?
Journal as a poem, prose, questions, artwork, or photography.
Who introduced you to Jesus? Send them a note of encouragement. Describe how they offered you living water.
Song to meditate on: Come to the Well

Lord, our world desperately needs the ripple effect of hope right now. So much bitterness, hatred of one another, and hopelessness. Equip believers to continue to be a ripple effect of hope. Amen

Saturday, January 17th at 7:00 a.m. EST my interview with Teresa Janzen will air here on Turning the Page on Suicide.

Reframing Suffering

Posted December 17, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Turning My Page: Reframing Suffering

Reframing Suffering

The portrait slumped in the back corner of the attic.
Her head folded in resignation of neglect—abandoned.
“A beginner’s musings,” I guessed, ready to dismiss my discovery.
But something drew me to the forgotten girl. Her eyes
haunted me, pleaded for hope beneath the cobwebs of neglect.

“I reframed my heartache after considering eternity.
Didn’t stop feeling when the world tortured me and laughed, What’s the point, no one cares?
“I reframed my longings, surrendered them to eternity.
Didn’t stop reaching for my creator when the skeptic told me, There’s no such thing.
“I reframed my thoughts to illuminate eternity.
Didn’t stop holding each other up when despair screamed, No way out!”

The girl reached out, tugged my heart
closer for respect, kindness—for some granule of
understanding her pain. Her hair fell like flames
around her face. Untamable
beauty. Maybe with a little work …

Pain Looks Different in Light of Eternity

I traded out her beaten frame for a new one,
brought the broken child out into the light. Displayed her as a priceless treasure.
Strange how the new light brushed her cheek and
shared a different story.
Her soul danced with hopes and dreams, passions, and compassion.
Did a hint of a smile appear on her lips?

And in that hope, our joy emerged as a masterpiece of possibility.

Turning Your Page: Reframing Pain

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

The world can be brutal to our mind, body, and spirit. Jesus stepped into humanity to teach us a new way of looking at our circumstances and responding with joy, rather than despair. Jesus reveals we can withstand so much more than we think. Often we view ourselves through shortsighted glasses and it takes an outside perspective to jolt us to an eternal reality.

That jolt can come in the form of scripture, wise counsel from a friend, or the Holy Spirit trying to challenge your thinking? How are you responding to their love?
Spend some time walking around your life as if you are looking at them as a stranger. Describe the challenges. Have others shared a similar experience? How did they get through suffering? Who did they turn to for help?
What is one aspect of your circumstances you can work on allowing hope to illuminate possible outcomes? Spend time this week asking God to open your eyes to see the possibility for good things emerging out of difficulty.

Jesus, my heart is heavy with circumstances I have no control over. You set the joy of being with your Father in front of you! Help me to endure my cross and have joy because my eyes remain fixed on you. Amen

Lean in to Hope

Posted December 10, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” (1 Peter 1:3 ESV).

Turning My Page: Lean In To Hope

Nativity displays beneath the canvas of night.
Where a mother sings, and chosen father dreams.
A candle, lit by God, twinkles in the heavens and
announces salvation has arrived.
And hope, swaddled in tender flesh,
sucks his thumb.

The shepherd
and the wise lean in, to wonder, are
you my king?

And I, an offspring of His coming,
testify 2,000 years later, He is
Emmanuel. God With Us, leaning
in to shape my spirit.

Turning Your Page

Have you ever contemplated the vast effect of those first moments with Jesus? Many lives have been changed over the centuries because one baby was born. Two thousand years later, men and women are still willing to lay down their lives for this child gifted by God to redeem us. Read Luke 1-2:40.

Take about ten minutes to contemplate the sights and sounds of the nativity.
- Which person do you identify with most?
- Do you have questions for Jesus?
- What images and pictures of His arrival catch your attention?
- Try to use your senses to write a description or poem interacting with aspects of the nativity.
How has your life been changed by the birth of Jesus?
- Leave a link to your poem in the comments or pingback to this post: Lean In To Hope

Jesus, I am in awe of your birth. You are a God I often want to make distant, and yet you took on my struggles. I too can endure sorrow upon sorrow because you love me and are with me and I find joy in this life because my hope firmly placed in you. Amen

Dream Bigger

Posted December 8, 2020 | Karisa Moore

This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG)

Turning My Page on Dreams

Christmas came early for Turning the Page on Suicide and I am excited to unwrap it with you!

God asked me to dream bigger this year and this website is a part of His vision of hope. To dream bigger took steps of obedience, and with every movement deeper into trusting God’s plan, I saw new possibilities unfold before me. From color pallets to establishing a clearer mission, every aspect I found myself catching my breath with awe and joy. A joy that keeps appearing as a result of finding Christ faithful in hardships. I continue to get to know He is trustworthy, no matter where my journey takes me.

Jesus helps us shed despair

The imperfect family pose on my landing page reflects intense wrestling with life and the joy we experience in the midst. I had a “perfect” family pose loaded, but God asked me to use this one instead. My husband was suffering from severe vertigo and headaches. My son Daniel, who we believe suffers from the same disease that attacked Jonathan’s mind, body, and spirit, had frequent bouts of pain and intense emotional outbursts.

That same summer, my joy-filled daughter began a severe spiral downward in stomach pain to the point she struggled to eat, and I was overwhelmed with fear at losing them. All of us struggled to smile. Yet, at that moment, my son turned his head to blow raspberries at his dad and we broke into laughter. That picture serves as a reminder to me, as well as to you that God does not expect perfection. He expects us to show up as we are and take the next step before us.

And in those moments, in those places, we don’t feel like smiling. Joy appears.

May this website serve as a constant reminder to come as you are, yes there is sorrow here, but there is also joy. God is rewriting what the enemy meant for evil in my family and revealing treasures through pain and suffering. God has the power to rewrite your story. I testify hope still exists in darkness, in places that feel void of dreams. God is dreaming bigger for me, and I am so grateful he is inviting me in to witness his plan come to fruition.

Many thanks to the Blogging Bistro Team for bringing the mental health resource vision to life.

Turning Your Page to Dream Bigger

Is God asking you to dream bigger? Part of our ability to dream bigger is to know the dream giver. Joseph of the Old Testament was given dreams, even the ability to interpret dreams, and yet he did not interpret his own dreams correctly. As he got to know the character of God through his suffering, felt God’s provision even though years passed before the dreams came true, he came to give God glory, come what may. Only when the dream came true could he tell his brothers, who had sold him into slavery,”

And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt” (Genesis 45:7-8 ESV).

What are the current ways you feel that you are suffering?
What do you already know about God’s character and purpose for suffering?
- Philippians 2:5-11
- 1 Peter 3:14
- 2 Corinthians 4:17
Do you have a person in your life who appears to be suffering well? What characteristics do you see in them? How are they dreaming bigger in their suffering?

Lord, may I get to know your character so well, that I trust where you lead and open my mind, heart, and actions to your bigger dreams for me. Amen

Holiday Depression Survival Kit

Posted December 4, 2020 | Karisa Moore

No one plans on unwrapping depression during the holidays.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1 KJV)

Depression is a gift not easily returned to a store. I say gift because, as I work through despair I also discover my capacity to fight it.

Twenty-two years ago depression became a training ground for my faith. I hoped for what I could not yet see. I stretched weak, underdeveloped spiritual muscles. And survived attacks from the enemy. Beauty emerged from the ashes of my life.

We don’t have to have it all together to survive Christmas. But, we do have to have certain habits in place that are not optional. I am conditioning to be fearless and embrace discipline, compassion, and determination. Like a drill sergeant encouraging failure, depression stirs instead, my will to live.

Grief doesn’t take a hiatus, and physical pain may have no relief. The strain is constant, but we also experience joy. We can hope, remain open to new possibilities, step outside of our own thoughts, and engage the world. Not based upon feeling, but upon the basic way, humans were created. We were built for relationship. Based on that understanding, isolation is not an option.

Below is a Depression Survival Kit that I use on a regular basis. These habits help me to get through and even gain new ground through holidays.

Feel free to comment on anything that helps you to get through the holidays.

1-2 scriptures to read on a regular basis, call to mind when thoughts spiral
List of safe people (of the same sex) that I can call in case of an emergency
1-2 old traditions I will do (not based on feeling)
1-2 new traditions I will create with family, friends, strangers
Emergency exit
- Go to Christmas events
- Shorten stay
- Signal designated departure friend to aid in a smoother exit
- I don’t have to do all events
Stay engaged with the community (not an option)
- Volunteer to help others
- Encourage someone else who is struggling
- Allow 1 or 2 people to take you out of your comfort zone
- Laughter is good medicine (welcome humor)
Be intentional
- Set goals and take steps to be as healthy as you can
- Extend grace to yourself and others

My prayers are with you as you find joy this Christmas.

Starving for Christmas

Posted December 1, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Noses press against storefront windows

and gawk. We watch stars stuff our sorrow

into glib sayings and sitcom outcomes.

But, in truth,

streets still bustle with beggars,

desperate hands outstretched.

Souls starve on golden calves of

overindulgence.

Ears strain to hear the

clink, clink coin of hope.

Unwrap gods, religion or man,

they disappoint our empty expectations.

We are starving for Christmas.

Christmas arrived. God, in plain garments,

pudgy cheeks and dependent

flesh. God, sucked in the

the first stale breath of humanity and loved us.

Inked Hope: Self Harm

Posted September 10, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Inked hope everywhere I could. Scrawled it
on bathroom stalls. Doodled, in
the margins of homework. Sketched
fragile bird, freed from captor’s
cage on my binder. Etched freedom
in bright red ink on my arm.

But whether cage or page, freedom wasn’t
tangible. It was a temporary ink, tattooed on
broken flesh. I was chained to a demon
past that roared and laughed
at all attempts to write a new story.

You took the pen from my hand, rewrote
my story with your love. Inked,
BELOVED
CHOSEN
BRIDE
FREE
on your own wrists, side, and feet. No more
ink left. My well drained dry of any possible sacrifice.

You inked forgiven into my soul and
hope became firmly impressed into my heart.

Turning My Page: How God Inked Hope Through Jesus

Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.
Mark 5:5, ESV

I attempted to ink hope into my life in a multitude of ways. Abused, I tried desperately to take control of my circumstances through self-harm. So hard to express pain, when I didn’t have words for the emotional, physical, and spiritual wounds I experienced. There is simply something I needed that this world could not give me.

Like the man who cut himself and cried out, nothing anyone has done has brought me relief, and then I saw him. Getting out of the boat, and something in my spirit stirred in recognition. Is this the one everyone talks about? The one who heals the sick and casts out demons. Maybe, just maybe he can ink something different into my soul. Hope. Oh, hope that will finally bring relief…

From the moment I met Jesus, twenty-four years ago, my self-harm ended. The yanking out of hair, the cutting, the anorexia, and the drinking. I have no other reason or explanation to give you, but a real tangible encounter with Jesus. It started with Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen” (NIV). God showed me what that verse meant through tangible provision.

I still feel pain, but I no longer want to escape what I feel, because Jesus has written something different in my life. He wrote hope, faith, and love into my soul, and nothing I experience in this life will ever compare to God’s love in my life.

Turning Your Page: Where to Find Hope

Self-harm can become addictive and therefore very difficult to break. It relieves for a moment the pain you cannot express. You are not alone, and if we are honest, there are many that attempt self-harm in small and big ways. Look for the transforming love of Jesus. His truth about your identity is etched on a cross. You were worth dying for and your pain is not the end of his story for you.

Here is an excellent resource to begin connecting with a God who cares for you and your suffering:

Help For Cutters and Others Who Self-Injure in Some Way

Resources

Spiritual Heart Check: Testimony

Posted August 25, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:19

Turning My Page

What would happen if God took the contents of your heart and spilled them out on a table like security at an airport checkpoint and conducted a spiritual heart check? What would it reveal about you as it ran through the x-ray machine?

My son packed his metal airplane in his suitcase. Security had a chuckle as they ran it through security and questioned him about what type of plane it was and where it was flying today. Lately, God has turned my heart inside out and is examining the contents. Once again, I am facing my emotional nemesis: anger, bitterness, envy, and self-loathing.

But this time feels different, not a sudden revelation of my emotional baggage like it was thirteen years ago, as I accused God of being unjust. No, this emptying out feels like healing and putting into practice a deeper trust.

Healing because God wants to remove the sin that keeps tripping me up from running the course he has marked for me. This season is about trusting God’s character, submitting to his plan, and not leaning on my own understanding. He wants me to surrender to my weakness. Does it hurt? Yes. Will I be perfect in my execution of God’s will and purpose? No.

Just as God deemed David a man after his own heart when no one else could see David’s heart–not even a prophet–God understands what my heart needs. I am nervous, but also a tad bit excited. God reveals his plan and purpose to use me in mighty ways, not despite my weaknesses, but because of them. He activated that purpose from my mother’s wound, not when I get my act together.

Turning Your Page: Kathy’s Spiritual Heart Check

I met Kathy Collard Miller at Rebound Your Highest and immediately felt a connection. Scripture, personal experience, a sense of humor, gentle spirit–all the elements of a woman after God’s own heart were there. What does that mean, to be “after God’s own heart”?

So if anyone cleanses himself of what is unfit, he will be a vessel for honor: sanctified, useful to the Master, and prepared for every good work. Flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22

Any of us can pursue God, but it requires a turning away from those things that drag us down, hurt us, and separate us from God and for us to turn towards what pleases him.

Kathy thought she was alone in her out-of-control anger. She cried out for help and her life would never be the same. God taught Kathy how to turn away from sin and turn toward his love for her. Hear her testimony of transformation, and join us for a discussion at 7 pm on godly ways to deal with anger and any other emotion that feels out of control.

Lord, you are with me. Inspect my heart, find anything that hinders me from walking closely with you. Amen

Posts Tagged: turning the page on suicide

Turning My Page: Freedom Starts With Hope

One of the first things the Spirit of Despair attacks is the healthy habits I form.

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page: Conviction Overturned by Love

Turning Your Page

This woman probably went away living and loving others differently.

Turning My Page: Leaky Faucet of Hope

Turning Your Page: The Constant Drip of Hope

Turning My Page: Reframing Suffering

Turning Your Page: Reframing Pain

Turning My Page: Lean In To Hope

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page on Dreams

And in those moments, in those places, we don’t feel like smiling. Joy appears.

Turning Your Page to Dream Bigger

Turning My Page: How God Inked Hope Through Jesus

Turning Your Page: Where to Find Hope

Turning My Page

Turning Your Page: Kathy’s Spiritual Heart Check

National Suicide Hotline