Posts Categorized: devotional

God's Formulas for Complicated Circumstances

God’s Formulas for Complicated Circumstances

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

Hebrews 12:1, NIV

Turning My Page: God’s Formulas for Complicated Circumstances

Daniel tossed his paper in frustration, ” I just don’t get it! There are no math sample problems like this one, and I have no idea how to do it.”

“Want my help?” I smirked.

“This is way beyond you. There is no way you can help me,” He teased.

“Wanna bet?” 

Looking at Daniel’s math problem, I saw that he was right. I had no idea the formula’s meaning or purpose, but I knew he did, so I began asking questions.

“What is the order for solving the problem?”

“That’s the problem. Those rules don’t work on this one.”

“Really? What are you trying to solve for?”

He threw up his hands. “Pi. This isn’t helping me.”

I pressed in. “What is the first thing you must do to the equation?”

Reluctantly, Daniel looked at the problem again. “Oh, well, I can move the h over here, thus eliminating the h. Oh, that was the piece I was missing.”

Then, he rattled off the rest of the process and solved the equation, even plugging numbers into it and seeing that it worked.

I may not know how to do complex math problems, but I do know what gets him stuck because it is the same thing that frustrates me.

Steps.

The more complex the problem, the more steps there are, and sometimes, I need to narrow my vision and ask the question. What is the first step?

A runner told me, “Stop focusing on the finish line and start breaking the course into sections.” I have to make it to this point and then the next. The first time I tried it, I was surprised that I made it to the finish line at the fastest time and didn’t stop for a break. 

I tend to start the problem overwhelmed, whether in math or life. It looks so big. No one else has this problem. God is teaching me that the guesswork is taken out when I follow his path. Right now, I am chipping away at problems with my health. I ask, “How can I glorify God with healthy physical habits?” I am almost 100 lbs over a healthy weight. I’ve tried weight loss before and failed; my body has so many things breaking down that keep me from exercising, etc. When I focus on the problem, I forget that there are solid steps—steps others have taken before me— that I can take in faith no matter my circumstances. 

I don’t like steps and often don’t want to do them. They take too long, and there has to be a shorter route. But when I follow the race marked out for me, sin doesn’t trip me up, and when I follow Jesus, I have never been disappointed.

The steps of Christianity do not change. Here are some examples:

  • “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself'” (Matthew 22:37-39, ESV).
  • “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoiced in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:1-5 ESV).
  • “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:1-2, ESV).

There are many more, but I utilize these crucial ones as my foundation. When I return to my starting point, my relationship with Jesus, I catch when I have steered off course more quickly. Scripture renews my spirit and keeps me focused on the finish line because God has already marked the race out for me. 

 

Turning Your Page

No matter where you are in your race of faith, you can stop, access resources, see the crowd of witnesses (those who have gone before us and testify that we are on the right path), and look for the markers of the course. There is prep for the faith, a team to develop, and scripture gives us well-laid-out steps. This is the starting line if you haven’t yet accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

Sin is a tangled mess, but salvation is not complicated. Believe in Jesus. That is it. Start with belief, and God will train us to run the race with perseverance, faithfulness, and love. Support the other runners around you and finish well. I am in the race with you. And if I finish ahead of you, know I’m cheering you on. I’ll be the one with the bouncing ponytail, shouting and clapping in celebration! Take the first step. Believe in the one who gave up his life for you. 

 

Lord, I want to run this race with perseverance. I long to finish well, but many obstacles are in my way. Strengthen me, show me your trustworthy ways so that I can finish this life well. Amen 

 

For Further Reading:

Patience Grows Love in the Petri Dish of Suffering

Sacred Scars by Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Without Complaint

Without Complaint

I cannot heal without complaint.
Teach me, O Lord, to lament well so that I
vulnerably lay grief open before Your sufficiency
and intimately know the labor pains of my reality.

Without complaint, I do not question my sinfulness or Your character.
An unboxed God is revealed through unwrapping my tangled emotions and confusion.
In ashes, You acquaint me with the wounds in Your wrists, Your feet, Your side.
Swollen with sorrow, I am rocked to sleep by the songs of your strong compassion.

Develop in me gut knowledge of the suffering of my neighbors.
May my fingers brush the cracked harshness of a world gone terribly wrong.
Help me to know the desperate texture of prison walls, and mourn for the prisoner.
Rip from me a flesh-crushing wail of loss.
Show others the burden they can lay at Your feet because I crumble before Your throne,
my face buried in the purple robes of Your sovereignty. I acknowledge I cannot

But You can.

Turning Your Page: What Does “Without Complaint” Mean?

Most certainly I tell you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.

John 16:20 WEB

Complaint’s original meaning is “to lament.” Lament is a mind, body, and spirit grief. In ancient times, the griever would tear clothes, beat their chest, wear ashes, fast, and cry out. Does this picture make you uncomfortable? Lamenting well draws us out of despair and moves us toward the one who can comfort us and reshape our grief.

For Further Thought:

Release Tears

The Bible Project: Lamentations 

Attention: Talent Needed to Save the World

Talent Needed to Save the World

Talent Needed to Save the World

 

You should have been swaddled in the warmth of a silk palace, not wrapped in scraps, cradled in a barn by unwed parents.
Your star, the only one on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, to be placed on a brick in heaven.
Hunted by crazed fans before you learned to walk.
Talent scouts noticed you as a precocious teen, but you were despised
because you came from the wrong side of the tracks.
The gossip columns boasted of your net worth and number of followers while questioning the value of your message.
Viewers questioned your humble beginnings while ogling, like vultures, your miracles.  Water into wine, raised from the dead? ” “Give us more!”

Your hands should have been smoothed by oils and manicures callused by rough wood and splinters of service;
Protected by bodyguards, not trampled and smothered by our crowded needs.
We should have crowned you with shimmering jewels, not thorns
dripping with blood. By all accounts, you didn’t measure up.
But of course, you didn’t measure yourself by our idols.

You, O Lord, were a talented failure. Good thing you didn’t live
by man’s standards.

 

Idolatry is Subtle

It doesn’t always show up in the form of a figurine I bow down to. An idol, at its hollow core, is anything that I put before God.

When my son died, I was terrified of losing my other children and husband. I had to know where they were and that they were okay, and I was often unkind when my desire for security was not met. Understandable.

Idolatry emerges from dissatisfaction with God. Isn’t that at the heart of why Israel turned away from God and to worthless things again and again and why we often don’t recognize God at work in our lives?

  • Exodus 32
  • 1 Kings 19
  • Hosea 5
  • Acts 17

 

I need a “talent to save the world,” and Jesus just doesn’t fit the mold. He will never be rushed by our craving for immediate understanding.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways,” says Yahweh” (Isaiah 55:8 WEB).

 

 

Lord, open my eyes when I focus on the world’s view of your identity. You will never fit in my box, and I don’t want you to. You are who you say you are, and I am who you say I am. Amen

 

For Further Reading:

A God I Did Not Form

No Other Gods by Kelly Minter: An eye-opening look at the people and things we put before God.

Spring Cleaning

Spring Clean And Find Hope

Spring Clean and Find Hope

May my tears mix with yours, Oh Lord.
Wash the stench of despair from my soil
until blight is pruned and joy
sprouts in defiant abundance.
Lift my head to bask in the sunshine of your presence.

Grow me to be a fragrant delight.

 

Tools to spring clean

Whether you are dealing with grief or despair, you need reminders never to give up. This can come in many forms.

  • Create your own memory garden.
    • Add favorite colors or the favorite color of a loved one.
    • Place reminders, such as butterflies, in the planter to remind you never to give up.
    • Weed and water regularly. This can be hard when grief or despair is at its heaviest, but the habit can also be a reminder and catalyst for healing.
  • Create a file of encouragement
    • notes from others
    • funny quotes
    • scriptures
    • a playlist that lifts your spirit
  • Spend time in nature
    • Engaging all of your senses can instantly lift your spirits
    • Find a local park to walk and observe ways God provides regularly

Lord, as the seasons change, help me to spring clean. Thank you. Nature testifies that what is hidden will be revealed. My life feels cluttered with doubt, but I know that when I think this way, you are stretching and growing me. When I can’t see the flowers, please remind me of the seeds you’ve planted. Amen

For Further Reading: Spring Haiku

One of my favorite devotionals: Streams in the Desert

For the Beauty

Noticing Beauty While Depressed

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.

Psalm 19:1 KJV

Turning My Page

There have been so many reminders in the past few weeks of God’s delight and presence in my life.

Everything is bursting with color and creativity. In the past few weeks, I have experienced spectacular skies filled with clouds that looked like they were painted on and vivid fall colors just outside my window. I’ve had to pull the car over to snap pictures and sit in awe of sunsets and sunrises over lakes and oceans. I feel like I am constantly slack jaw. The funny side effect of noticing beauty is that I breathe more deeply.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the Beauty

My daughter’s humor never ceases to bring us joy.

 

And then there are my children. Their pumpkin creations this fall have brought

 

me endless giggles.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turning Your Page

Depression has an awful way of blinding us to the beauty around us. Noticing and delighting take practice when out of use. With God’s help, we can push back and declare what the Lord has done for us.

  • Record in words or pictures the beauty around you this week. Some are tiny, some are big, but all have the power to remind us that God is not distant and loves to delight our souls.
  • What scriptures speak of noticing the beauty of God’s creation?

Creator, just wow! You did all this for my well-being and delight? Thank you. Amen

Peter’s Darkest Night

I possessed no doubt. Your identity
secure in my arrogance like a sword against
the throat of my enemies. You are the Messiah! But
your kingdom came, not with a roar
of victory, but a depressing death cry of, it is finished!

We shared
the same ministry dirt under the nails.
Fished for men. You called me friend.
This death you hinted at—not
on my watch!

You capsized my boat. Wrecked my
expectations. Did I really know you? Hope lies
rotting in a borrowed grave.
I replay your 
ministry over and over in my head. Where did I 
go wrong? I called you Messiah!  Did I really know you?

My battle cry, so passionate, so confident, last night, choked
out by the cock’s crow of my betrayal today. You looked at me.
You knew I would betray you, and still, you chose me. “Why?”
Bitterness mocked, “I’ll
follow you anywhere!” 

I was ready to establish your kingdom.
The battle was in front of me. My heart pounded.
My nearest enemy’s ear lay on the ground, with
first blood of freedom. Who’s with me?

“Put your sword away, Peter,” you commanded. Put my sword
away? Didn’t you put this sword in my hand? Even as I was ready to destroy
you were ready to restore.

“Your kingdom come!” 
What kingdom has ever come through a cross…

Countless times, you knelt and drew in the sand.
Treated the self-righteous as heathens. I felt elevated. 
A part of something gloriously divine. Oh good,
the master will put these accusers in their place. I witnessed
your miracles, but restore an enemy? My knowledge of your royalty was robbed
by your humility—by your sacrifice.

Why did you choose me?

 

Grieving with hope

Lessons in Perseverance

He remembers his covenant forever, the word that he commanded, for a thousand generations

(Psalm 105:8 ESV).

Turning My Page

My grandmother giggled like a teenage girl. Her whole being exuded joy at both hanging the sheets out to dry and investing in the lives of those around her. One summer, I spent several weeks with her and heard stories never shared with me before. Behind that giggle was a whole lot of suffering. It was impressed upon me that she had resilience. At the time, I was an Eyore, focused on the gloomy clouds constantly hovering over my life, and had little to no ability to bounce back. Still, I soaked up her stories and wondered how she could have such a great attitude, praise God for her blessings, and serve others wherever God placed her.

So much of Grandma’s life was deeply hard. Her father died when she was three, and when her mother remarried, her stepfather wasn’t keen on the extra baggage of a daughter. She passed from relative to relative until her siblings started arriving, and then she was brought back home to help raise her brother and sisters. She did not hold a grudge. When she was older, she endured the devastating loss of two sisters, who died because they got caught in a whirlpool and drowned. Grandma lived through the great depression, wars, and a husband who was a harsh and unforgiving man.

He had softened as a grandfather, and I only caught glimpses of his stubbornness, but I could tell she loved him with every fiber of her being. She lost a grandson who lived with her for a while when his parents discarded him to suicide. I didn’t understand then, but I do now how profoundly the loss of my cousin broke her heart.

Yet, despite all of these experiences, she laughed and celebrated life to the fullest. She shared her faith with me at a little white church in the country. She played cards with me and taught me how to make buttermilk toast when she was sick. I loved her tea, her stories, and everything about this five-foot-nothing, once curly-haired redhead. What I didn’t understand then, I know now as a believer in Christ.

I can now laugh, celebrate, and live life to the fullest, whatever circumstances may come because I recognize that Joy and Sorrow are beautiful companions. Death does not end my story. It is only a part of the story.

Turning Your Page

Start observing joy coupled with sorrow where you are. Who around you is an example of someone who lives life to the fullest amid hardship? What characteristics do you observe about them? Ask them to share the reason for their hope. Ask them what scriptures are foundational to how they live with sorrow and joy at the same time.

Learning to walk with sorrow and joy simultaneously is not easy. Often, our selfish and worldly desires get in the way. A simpler life, with no troubles at all, would be nice, but remembering that God sees you and has kept his covenant to all who believe in Him, what we experience in this life is but a blink. Living life to the fullest is possible because Jesus bridges the gap of our sinful nature and teaches us to take up our cross daily. Here are some other passages to help you practice joy in sorrow.

 

“Trouble and anguish have found me out, but your commandments are my delight” (Psalm 119:143 ESV).

“‘Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour'” (John 12:27 ESV).

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV).

“‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid'” (John 14:27 ESV).

 

Lord, thank you for the many examples throughout scripture and in my life who exemplify your attitude of joy amid great hardship. May I take comfort and share that comfort with others because you waste nothing.

A Counselor Familiar with Dust

You didn’t impatiently check your watch like
you had someplace more important to be.
A God who listens.
You didn’t stare down my vulnerability
in disgust as I poured out my broken heart.
You grabbed a tissue and sobbed with me.
A God who cries.

Your counsel didn’t come down from a distant marble throne.
You stepped into the crowd, looking for me.
A God who draws near.
ME—A single lost sheep.
You took my hand
into your callused carpenter’s hand
and walked the journey of hope with me.
A God who touches humanity.

Hope In Transition

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

Turning My Page

Hope is always in transition because God’s Word is alive, active, and working behind the scenes. He fulfills his promises.

There are ministry movements that I cannot yet reveal, but things I have hoped for are coming to fruition, and His Spirit (wise counselor, comforter, and advocate) have been up to some pretty cool behind-the-scenes preparations that I had no part in except to step up and do what God directed.

It can be easy to grow discouraged in these in-between places. I want to see the road mapped out ahead of time. Yet Hebrews 11 is called the “Hall of Faith” because the writer Paul lists examples throughout scripture of people who took steps of faith with what their naked eye could not see.

Sometimes it is in moving us to a new location where the fullness of God’s purpose can be revealed, for example, in the story of God’s winding path for Joseph to save Israel and many other nations in Genesis. Other times it is in moving the resources towards us, as it is in the story of the Samaritan woman (John 4). Hope is that in-between place where we both wait patiently and actively look for the answer.

Hope is active waiting. 

In the last year, the tension has mounted as I move forward to embrace all God has in store for me in sharing the good news of His presence in our many valleys of despair. Hope that remains parked in what-if is hollow and unstable. A daydream. Therefore, I open myself to possibilities and actively embrace all of God’s plans for Turning the Page on Suicide.

In the Old Testament, God tells Joshua, the new leader of the Israelites, “Moses is dead.” While this might feel a bit like God is stating the obvious, we humans tend to hold tight to what is—the familiar. It was time for the Israelites to move on. I must now move on from active griever to resource for others. 

Here are some of the things God has been up to:

  • Vacation with family and connecting with nature. In other words, stepping away and growing quiet when life has been boisterous with doing. He (Jesus) is the vine, and I am a branch, oh Lord, strengthen my abiding in you. (John 14)
  • Has me spending deep time studying God’s word, fasting, and praying for spiritual healing for those suffering from mental illness, and preparing for the spiritual warfare that inevitably comes as I step out in obedience to God’s direction and will.
  • Connecting with and strengthening other mental health warriors. 
  • Some pretty cool one on ones with complete strangers whom the Spirit was stirring to ask questions.

In the coming weeks, you will see significant changes to my website as I shift from a griever of my own loss to a more intentional resource for you. I have been deeply encouraged in my own grief by:

  • God
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Counselors
  • Scripture
  • Research
  • Fellow Authors and Speakers
  • Strangers

We need each other. Isolation is Satan’s number one weapon in despair. If you and your loved ones wrestle with finding hope in the dark valleys of mental, physical, and emotional health, it is my prayer that I can hold up a light to illuminate what you can’t yet see. There are so many stories of hope, and I look forward to sharing them with you.

I am gathering information, preparing to equip and train, and answering questions about mental health from a biblical perspective. There is so much hope yet to be gleaned in our stories, and I look forward to growing together and pushing back the Spirit of despair.

There is Hope

I have really enjoyed facilitating the shared stories of hope from various men and women I have met in the past nine years. I would love to share more stories. If you have a story of overcoming and hope to offer others, please get in touch with me at [email protected]

I continue to look to Christ as He is my light in the darkness.

 

Turning Your Page

Recommended Resources:

 

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/