tip-toeing around him,
my fragile reality etched in
stone
I slip into loneliness and
remember
Posts Categorized: poetry
Body bolstered by belief,
and honed by instruction
motors towards the finish line.
Joy, baptizing those in your wake.
Arms outstretched to receive
the prize.
Embraced by love,
Until you wiggle free,
ready to face your expanded distance.
Tally marks flickering in the darkness
Waiting for my wish . . .
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For regrets to be extinguished and
joy to sing once more.
For sweet icing to be a delightful treat,
not a heavy poison of despair.
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To surprise people with my flavor–
Strawberries snuck between living layers,
Moist with love, faith, and hope.
Giving fresh perspective to a new year
Of breathing in and out, a daily present opened faithfully.
So desperate for help
we dig our way from rabbit hole to rabbit hole
pride shrinking and growing depending which
ego we feed
following the myth to its never ending conclusions
corridors of cards
played down to the queen
and she smiles
squeezing our hearts ever tighter
a dreamed nightmare
of tattoos and tea parties
picked apart by plump caterpillar philosophers’
puffing smoke of their own self worth
around ignorance and bliss.
And I dolled up in innocence
follow the tic-toc of the nervousness time-piece
never one to be late
for a party I wasn’t invited to.
The box of meaning is sifted, your fragrance
lingers
I’ve boiled off the excess and
let these treasures simmer
in my soul
weary
of searching for something missing
That never could
be boxed in.
On this day you knit motherhood into my soul
Sweeping away cobwebs of brokenness and rebellion
Filling my world with the vivid colors I grew up missing
You deepened my breath, made me reach deeper inside
for strength that I had never explored, laughter never expressed, and hope unquenchable
by death.
On this day you made me a mother, and not even the grave can swallow my
joy.
A wisp of beauty landed close to me.
Separate, but the same.
I marveled at its will to live
A vibrant delicate life
Short yet powerful
Because it changed me.
Pulling up anchor from the crowded
harbor of humanity, I navigate
the steady sea of rolling waves of fertile green;
planting peaceful rhythm within my weary sail.
Opening my lungs to the purer, sweet saltiness
of grass, animal and clay.
Birds sail the seas of heaven, diving in delight of
prey.
Fellow sailors, nod and salute from their faithful rusty ships
as rudders plod consistent course to their harvested catch.
And when I return to shore, the sea is carried within my soul.
Perfectly loved, unafraid because
You make yourself
comfortable in my heart.
Wallpapering my soul
with scripture,
flinging open windows and locked doors
to the sunshine of your joy.
Removing stumbling
blocks
Removing doubt that clutters.
Lifting my face
to gaze into your
unblemished love.
Choosing
me.
Adopting me.
You are my mirror
Reflecting truth
I refused to see,
Showing me my heart
the way you see it, strengthening
my love to laugh again.
You woke me from the terror of my nightmares,
said I was worth your time, your pain, your cross.
You didn’t shy away from my stains
From the sorrow I could not repay.
You awoke my desire
A fire for something
beyond self
beyond limit
beyond fear
you lit
my
path
until I
became You.
Holding out my scarred hands
Lightening another soul’s nightmare.
National Suicide Hotline
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/