Giggles and crayons melted
the distance between our sorrow.
Sketched out souls, framed together
in a mosaic moment of
play.
I miss him echoed
in our quiet parallel
expressions of color.
Each grieving, uniquely
united by the unquiet outline
of our circumstances.
Burning in the coldest soul
is a pilot light fueled by the breath
of God.
Herald DisbatchPsalm 13:3Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, 4And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken. 5But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.…
Sometimes it is not about winning, it is about building his team, showing up for the game and giving all to our heavenly coach, witnessing to the next generation in the stands and giving them the chance for victory.
I just finished watching We Are Marshall, a movie about Marshall University in Huntington, WVÂ and the tragic plane crash that shattered many lives on November 14, 1970. Seventy-five people lost their lives on that flight. The decision to re-build the football team was not one reached easily.
The new head coach Jack Lengyel, played by Matthew Mconaughey. was an outsider who was moved with compassion for the grieving family, school and city. However, he also knew they needed hope.
McConaughey uses the phrase, “The funerals end today,” but Lengyel said he had to make that known not only to the players but to the schools the team played. Each time the team traveled, the school would have a memorial for Marshall, but Lengyel said the team couldn’t continue and grow under those conditions. (Herald Dispatch)
To grow we have to realize that God still has plans for us. My husband, kids, and you daily remind me that the funeral ends today. Daniel saw the movie in our DVD collection and asked if he could watch it. I hesitated, knowing the intensity of the movie. He asked questions all week about the football team, about the school. He was clearly thinking deeply about the loss. “How many people are on a football team?” . . . “What are boosters?” “How do you start over?” “They must have felt like we do about losing Jonathan.”
We are knocked to the ground, barely able to breath, and the enemy is in our face telling us to stay down.
You are . . . nothing
You are . . . a failure
You are . . . a loser
Sometimes we need an outsider to see our pain, come onto the field of battle and draw up a new play book. God did this by sending his own son. He tell us:
you are . . . beautiful
you are . . . resilient
You are . . . loving
You are. . . worth the struggle
You are . . . a part of my plan
Since Jonathan’s death there are more personal losses and world tragedies the weigh heavy on my heart. Like David I remind myself of who I know God is:
You are . . . good to me
You are . . .Savior
You are . . . Mighty
You are . . . Personal
You are . . . All Knowing
You are. . . Trustworthy
“In this world you will have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
We chant with our lives we are . . . And allow the next generation to answer. They know who they are and whose they are because we didn’t give up!
I cannot turn the page on suicide alone. None of us can. I value your experiences, your challenges, the depth of your own sorrows and your resilience! Please do not hesitate to contact me with your concerns, suggestions and experiences of hope in the midst of grief or depression.
Thank you for reading and turning the page on suicide with me!
Sincerely,
Karisa
Amidst the darkness of hovering grief, cold
reality collides with warm consciousness,
like atoms birthing a new creation in the deep.
Natalie made her first trip to the farm with her class this year and it got me reminiscing about taking Jonathan to the farm with his class. He wasn’t too sure about “milking the cow”, but he loved the wagon ride and talking about God’s creation.
What are some of your favorite Fall/Winter activities with family, friends or kids?
Luke 23:39-43One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, “Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!” 40But the other answered, and rebuking him said, “Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41“And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” 42And he was saying, “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!” 43And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.”…
“Christians are forever being asked to forgive, but there seems to be little emphasis on responsibility and repentance.” my friend contemplated today.
The criminal on the cross shows us what true repentance looks like.
The result of true repentance is that we are with Him in Paradise!
Many of us have claimed that we are a slave to no one. Jesus would respond:
John 8:34-35, 44- “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. 35“The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever.”
44You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies 45But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me.
On the flip side unrepentance looks like:
There are no fence sitters. Faith is not dependent upon our parents faith or lack of faith. We must chose independently . . . will I go on cursing God and die in my sins, or will I accept that I am a sinner saved alone by his grace. One way or the other we are called to account for our actions. In this life or in death. Yes, forgiving others must be a part of our daily actions; Christ forgave the world because they did not know what they were doing, even as they crucified the Son of God. But, he also lay the ground work of repentance right up to the cross. Many believed as Jesus was being crucified! Like the criminal on the cross they saw the stark difference between themselves and the innocent lamb hanging on the cross.
It is hard for me to write that we either follow Christ or we follow Satan. I want to believe that mankind is naturally good. But in my own original repentance, the truth of Christ’s statements to those who were about to murder him, made me painfully aware of the gap between my guilt and Christ’s innocence. I was following Satan and despising Christ. It is in that uncomfortable place I was offered the free gift of Paradise– truth that daily transitions me from building my kingdom to delighting in His.
Forgiveness and calling to repentance are both necessary for head turning transformation. Some  will reject and some will embrace forgiveness and repentance, but both are necessary to accomplish Jesus’ work of salvation in us.
2 Corinthians 2:14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 15For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;…
As I grieve I want to wear the perfume of triumph! It comes from knowing who God is, trusting what he is doing and believing he will reveal his truth through us. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains that those who won battles were doused in sweet fragrances. My fragrance should be Christ because he is the source of my victories. I have had many! To claim victory we have to remember His faithfulness.
Too often I wear the scent of death. My circumstances are complicated and constant, but God is faithful to give abundant life. I see his hand so clearly, yet I turn my eyes to what isn’t and begin to act like God is not enough for me.
Today I allow you, Father, to wash away my sorrow. Lord, infuse me with the scent of understanding your ways. Discipline my brokenness. May my life become a beautiful fragrance of glory in the midst of a world filled with the dank scent of despair.
Last year I began a Christmas tradition of sharing a photo each day and inviting you to share your own photo of a similar activity or memory. Starting December 1st I will share some of my favorite memories of my son Jonathan and I encourage you to join in the fun and share special moments with me as I share them with you. Invite friends and family to get involved.
Photo Scavenger Hunt begins December 1st and ends December 20th. I will post a picture of some of my favorite Christmas memories with Jonathan and give your photo assignment each day. (PLEASE LET ME KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE PARTICIPATING.)
Rules:
…
1. Be respectful of others and their property.
2. Ask permission before taking a picture.
3. Have fun and invite as many friends and family as possible to be involved.
4. Describe your location.
5. Respond in the comment section.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/