My heart is broken for France and its people!
My heart is broken for France and its people!
Source: TRUST: A Walk of a Still Heart
I’m not a minion just following Christ because he’s the biggest, badest dude. I am a follower of a God who is involved in my life, who cares, nurtures, laughs and cries with me. One who is moved with grief that we struggle so deeply with our depressed state. He is a God who comforts. Seems to me that a God who came off his throne, took on our flesh, limited himself to eat, drink and go fishing with us, would want his disciples to do the same.
Discipleship is messy. It means that we can’t keep our distance, it means that our sin marked scars will be exposed, and it means that we can’t be counting the numbers. Jesus went after the one who was lost, even if he had a crowd of followers. He helped the child destroyed by demonic forces. He healed the sick, he dined with tax collectors. He dined with Pharisees. God dined with me! I am that lost sheep that Jesus pursued. I am that one that he said was worth dying for. Anyone who wants to be a fisher of men has to be in the pool where the fish are biting. There is no formula, sharing the gospel is as individual as our fingerprints.
Discipleship starts with following Jesus.
“Come follow me, ” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men. Matthew 4:19 (Notice that Jesus didn’t say you need to make yourself a fisher of men. HE WILL MAKE us in his image!)
Seeing the needs of those around you.
When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36
Acting on those needs now, the harvest is ripe.
Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Matthew 9:37
Discipleship is not complicated, it is actually rather simple. In fact, many of our idols have “groupies” that make decisions on wardrobe, hair and behavior based upon the person they have plastered on their wall. Who are you studying? Who is it that you moves you to action? We all follow something or someone. I follow Christ and therefore my words are meant to draw you closer to the one who changed me!
There is nothing like witnessing  God’s love catching fire in the bosom of another. I get a front row seat to God’s unfolding plan in your life! I am in constant prayer as I speak to you, asking for discernment. Many of you are struggling with deep heart and soul pain, as well as physical. I don’t always say the right words and that used to bother me. But, sharing grace isn’t about perfection, it is about presence!
May I be a light, present in the darkness. True discipleship is sharing the reality of Christ’s active role in my life, I carry a cross, not a silver spoon! Life has not been easy for me; I have many sorrows.  I am learning to the depth of my being that my contentment comes from Christ alone, my hope is in him, and my joy is in that in his realm we are raised from the dead! For the past year I have been discipled, even as I disciple others. I was guided to scriptures that refresh my weary soul and speak truth over my circumstances when I find myself wanting to believe lies. I was strengthened by being in community with another, further along in her journey.
Participating in the Out of the Darkness Community Walk on Sunday I was deeply burdened and hopeful as I turned another page on suicide. So many men and women walked with me, deeply wounded by depression and suicide, just like me! I want to offer hope and discipleship gives me the opportunity to share through relationship. At times it feels like I’m attempting to hold back a tidal wave, but by God’s love, grace and discipline, I continue to stand in the darkness and cry out NO MORE! I cannot offer you anything less than what sustains me in my grief. Disciples of Christ do not stand alone, the Spirit stands with us. He lit the candles of the first disciples, and they lit many candles after Jesus, all the way to this present moment. Discipleship is lighting a candle, then another, and another until the world isn’t so dark any more.
Source: Silent Whispers of A Hopeful Man
Beautiful, Yet Haunting. Please see my response.
After reading a fellow poet’s haunting work I prepared a response to the darkness that lights her world, and once lit my own.
I have lived in darkness,
wrapped up in the blanket of its truth, smothered
hope and shut out liars
who offer to light my way with burnt
out candles of philosophy. I thought that I had insulated
myself from darkness by embracing its truth. Nothing begets nothing–
we’re all dead anyway.
Until
fear mastered my taste buds, and my
craving was bitterness.
I begged death to
swallow me whole and it did.
Soul crushing pain that I could
never quite medicate out of existence.
Death was my hope.
But there was a persistent, pesky light
that didn’t care if I trusted. The warmth of its glow stayed constant
when others faded away. Like an inn at the end of a long
journey, it offered rest from
my aching confusion.
The lantern brought me from the woods
of my tangled shadows.
Secure in its source,
in its never changing nature
a humble truth never experienced in my boasting
darkness of doubt. It didn’t demand I believe, nor
did it exact the price of darkness. It paid in full every
debt I owed. This light didn’t scramble as I did,
to snuff out pain. It bore it. . . .willingly.
It hung in the darkness for me.
I have never experienced such light.
A state of being, rather than doing, a love
that pursues
Rather than playing hide-and-seek.
My soul caught fire as I warmed by the fire
of its glory,
I am a light to you in the darkness
Inviting warmth and freedom to the darkest souls.
Daniel: I don’t want to go to violin lessons. It is getting in the way of my playing with friends. (Demonstrating his protest in several different ways.)
Me:Â You are going.
Daniel: Eye roll.
Me: This discipline is practicing for adulthood.
Daniel: I don’t care!
Me praying…
Jesus: Daniel has God gifted you with music?
Daniel: (Tense shoulders relaxed) Yes, yes he has. ( His voice was practically singing, his internal song bubbling up to the surface.) And if I don’t use the gift he has given me then that is foolish. Just like God made you with curly hair, it is a part of who you are. Music is a part of who I am.
Me: Thank you Holy Spirit for this beautiful moment. It makes my heart sing!
Proverbs 15:13 13Â A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.
The irony was not lost on my friend and I. The day we chose to do this photo op, my usually cheerful baby was having none of it. She was mad and crying the whole time. Sometimes our heart is sad, because it is broken by deep loss. Many times, even when I am laughing my eyes give me away. I got free crazy bread just the other day because the cashier thought I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. I want my words, my life, and my example to flow from a heart filled with unexplainable joy. I am just plain not there yet, so how do I transition from a sad to a joyful heart? Important Note: Scripture doesn’t say HAPPY, it says JOYFUL. I am not happy that my son is dead. I’m not happy that there is so much pain, sorrow, sickness and fear dominating us. I’m not happy that friends I hold dear are faced with divorce. I’m not happy about many things.
Happiness is very fleeting, but joy raises weighted shoulders, so that I can lift my arms to the heavens to give thanks no matter what crashes around me. This isn’t a blind action, you go into joy eyes wide open, joy must be intentional. Some of the most oppressed people are also the most joyful. Their hearts are wide open the possibilities in their suffering. They discipline themselves in reading scripture, fellowshipping together, prayer, and witnessing (attesting to what the have seen and heard).  Oh Lord, may I become so saturate in the joy of your presence that leaping, shouting, and singing become second nature. Amen.
Wonderful blog! Check it out.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/