devotional Archives - Page 6 of 7 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Categorized: devotional

God Paints Confidence into Everyone He Calls

Posted April 14, 2020 | Karisa Moore

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

” I want to change my room,” my daughter declared a year ago.

“Okay.” I grinned, ” To what?”

“I want it to be blue and you are going to paint me a mural of a horse rearing at sunset.”

I laughed. ” You have more confidence in my painting skills than I do.” It had been 17 years since I painted a mural, and even longer since I had sketched a horse.

“I know you can do it.” The conversation settled in her mind, she turned and walked away.

My daughter’s unwavering confidence was a soul lifter and she removed any lingering disbelief in me. All that remained was to follow through. I began studying other artists’ techniques, best paints, and brushes. One tutorial the artist shared that he gets stuck when he tries to think too much about where to go next. He slowly builds layers until the bigger picture reveals itself.

With so much time on our hands currently, we got the room painted a cheerful periwinkle blue in two days and then everyone cleared out of the room for me to get to work on the mural. I became a child at play. With each stroke, I saw the bigger picture emerge as the colors blended together and when I finally went to bed, I let go of my expectations of the outcome. The next morning when I came back to inspect the work I determined with a few touch-ups, it was complete.

My daughter’s gasp and squeal of delight were well worth the effort as she saw the finished mural. Did I make mistakes? Yes. Did she notice them? No. Her focus was on the horse and that her mother painted it for her.

God told me to drop my expectations of him and recognize he is confident I will accomplish all he has asked of me. He takes off the pressure of the final result because that is his job, not mine. The gospel is a delight to share. He builds unexpected connections with others, His truth and love is the testimony he paints into my joys and sorrows. It isn’t in becoming a perfect Christian I find his pleasure. It is through painting the strokes of his love and waiting for the clear image to appear. Thank you, Lord!

Turning Your Page

God’s focus is not on your imperfections or your stumbling as you follow Him. His delight is in your obedience. The Creator of the Universe is confident you will accomplish exceedingly abundantly all he has set out for you to do. He told the disciples, “Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:18, NIV). The disciples obeyed. “Then Peter spoke up, “We have left everything to follow you!” (Mark 10:28, NIV). Come follow him and let him train you to paint his love into the lives you touch.

List our skills you currently have. If you are unsure of what they are, start exploring and connecting with others. Ask what they notice in you.
What hinders you from dropping your net (the job, people, expectations, you think gives your life defines you) and following Jesus?
Study scriptures that display God’s confidence in you. Here are a few to get you started:
- Joshua 1:8
- Mark 10:9
- Philippians 1:6

Jesus, I hold nothing back from you. Teach me to be a fisher of men, confident in what you call me to do. Amen

Drowning in Lies

Posted April 7, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Somewhere during the swollen rush of depression,
“Predictable” became the portrait I painted.

It didn’t matter that I survived trauma, death lapped
gently at my soul, testing for weakness.
It found my mouth.
Invisible
Ugly
Stupid
Worthless

I was out of the boat, thinking I
knew God, but lies were
the lifeline my pride gripped.

Pulled under.

“Help” I gurgled, the water of despair
mocking my lungs desperate plea to
calm my flailing panic.

No one assumed I’d walk on water. Depleted.
Held under by hands proving their own power.
Broken, and bruised to marrow. No one
blamed me for fighting life,
but they tired of constant rescue. I drew
oxygen from their attempts like and addict. Desperate
for affirmation.

No expectation I would trust again.

I was born to drown. A statistic, speeding
up the slow drip of life’s faucet. An ocean
of regret would be quick. Easy.

You waited until I drowned my way, reached
into my habitual turning away. My impulsiveness.
Dying was predictable.
Living, eyes fixed on you,
resurrected truth.

Turning Your Page

You may build up twenty or more years of trauma, self harm, and lies in your mind, body, and spirit. You have wallpapered your soul with concepts about God, man, and the value of your life. Scripture says the complete opposite. Going after man’s approval is worthless, yes. But, seeking after a God who loves and wants to decorate your mind, body, and spirit with words like:

But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing? Then Jesus got up and rebuked the wind and the sea. “Silence!” He commanded. “Be still!” And the wind died down, and it was perfectly calm”
Mark 4:38-39

Lie: Jesus you don’t care about me.
Truth: He cares and has the power to take care of what we fear.

How do you develop the ability to recognize a lie?
List any lies you believe that came up from childhood. Were they planted through the actions or words or another person?
Spend some time looking at scriptures that speak about the lie you struggle the most with. What is the truth? Write these out, and reinforce them outloud throughout the week.

Father, I am still learning who you are. Reveal any lies I don’t yet see. Place in me your spirit of truth. Amen

Open-Handed Love

Posted April 2, 2020 | Karisa Moore

I really couldn’t grasp
a way to love you deeper,
but then I let go.

Dedicated to the many parents of prodigal children. Keep holding out love.

Turning Your Page

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
Romans 8:32

Children stretch and strengthen your love muscles. Stay close to scripture as a parent. God does not leave you guessing on how to raise them, how he loves them, or how he protects and sacrifices for his children.

How would you describe your love for your children?
- color?
- shape?
- nature? (example: Loving them feels like trying to control a swollen river cutting out a new path to run.)

Lord, you have gifted me with love for my children, but you know and love them better. Grow my awareness of your ways that I will walk in your will as I parent. Amen

The Crucifixion of Jesus is Necessary

Posted March 31, 2020 | Karisa Moore

And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”
Mark 15:39, NIV

Turning My Page

I struggled with the cross after Jonathan died. From the moment I accepted Jesus as my Savior, I lived my life trying to follow His ways. I know my faith wasn’t perfect, but being a good mom felt like enough for my son to be okay. While I knew with my head Christians are not immune to the evils of this world, there was still an undercurrent of grumbling in my heart. Why did my son suffer, and how does Jonathan’s death work anything for good in God’s plan?

The Lord answered my questions the first Christmas Eve service after Jonathan’s death.

It was not enough that Jesus came as a little baby. We don’t need a perfect example, we need a savior.
Christmas Eve 2014

Jesus came as a baby, grew up among us, preformed miracles, and provided good principals to live by. But still, the cross was non-negotiable. Without Jesus’ death on the cross, we are left trying to measure up to the laws of God without grace.

With Christ’s sacrifice, God said to the Centurian standing as witness to the sentence of Christ, there is more to life than our suffering and attempting to be good enough. He didn’t curse his accusers, he forgave them. The Centurian declared Jesus the Son of God before he fully understood his need for that crucified Savior. The cross was necessary to redeem us.

Without the cross, there is no victory over death. My son’s death is not the end of my story because Jesus redeemed the grave and gives power to all who believe. I was worth saving. My son was worth saving. You are worth saving. I now celebrate transformed lives because Jonathan’s life mattered to God, and he utilizes our story to encourage others to not give up.

Jesus came for me, not when I had my act together, but when I didn’t even know that I needed him. My son’s death does not limit God’s power. Life is still full and possible because Jesus chose the cross.

Turning Your Page

Open each day like it is a gift, filled with joy that transcends your understanding. God does things that don’t make sense to you in human judgment because he is sovereign. He rescued you, not as baby Jesus in the manger, but as Christ, the Savior on the cross.

Have you ever walked around the cross? Take time this Easter to read each of the gospel accounts of the trial, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus. Put yourself in the characters involved. What did you see differently through each person’s view of the cross?
Journal any new insights God reveals as you place yourself in the crucifixion story.

Gracious Savior, I need you. Amid painful suffering, I know You are truly the Son of God! Amen

Finding Calm in the Pandemic Fear

Posted March 24, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:33

But Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on the cushion. So they woke Him and said, “Teacher, don’t You care that we are perishing?” Then Jesus got up and rebuked the wind and the sea. “Silence!” He commanded. “Be still!” And the wind died down, and it was perfectly calm. “Why are you so afraid?” He asked. “Do you still have no faith?”…
Mark 4:38-40

Turning My Page

Silence is at the heart of every transformation God makes in my life. Our response to Covid-19 cleared my jam-packed calendar this month, and I now have the space and time for a quieter spirit. But, where there is silence, there is also death.

I have learned that to grow in faith, I must also put to death unbelief. I continue to practice quieting my spirit for five minutes after my morning scripture reading. Those five minutes are becoming precious opportunities for me to listen and trust God will provide an answer to this pandemic. I mourn for those who have lost loved ones and pray a hedge of protection around you. There is so much I’m not in control of.

I am dying to my expectations of God, myself, and others. I want things to return to normal quickly, but it is looking like our circumstances may not change for a while.

Today I put to death:

my own desires
my agenda
my Chick-fil-a cravings
my plans
my phone
my children’s routine
my concern for my husband’s job
my will
my writing
my expectations of God

The things I think bring order to my life do not. As hard as putting to death my striving in each area listed above, I am better able to engage my world with Christ asleep, calm, and undeterred by the waves and wind around him. Having faith that he does care for me.

Turning Your Page

You are dying to desires, wants, and even needs right now. Dying to your finances, the way you normally maintain friendships, family expectations, and faith. This a place of great fear, but it is also the place that God in flesh stands up in the boat and says to the wind, “Peace, be still.” It is an opportunity for us to step out of the boat of our circumstances and trust God.

List out things you are currently worried about or expecting because of Covid 19.
Look up specific verses that speak about calamity and God’s actions in times of trouble. (Psalm 91 is a favorite.)
What is God working on silencing in your life, and how can you trust him more deeply in the truth of his provision.

Father, I am afraid. You are not stilling this virus, and I feel like my life is in turmoil. Quiet my spirit so that I can recognize your call in this storm. Amen

Run After Me, Not Man

Posted March 17, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Turning My Page

Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
1 Corinthians 1:20 ESV

I wasn’t feeling fearful of Covid-19 at first. After endless days of news updates, cancelations, empty store shelves, battling my own respiratory infection, and my kids home for the next two weeks, I am exhausted. This morning, I was challenged to spend five minutes meditating on the following question:

What things am I running after?

After spending an hour longing for those five minutes, but instead, working on chores, and assisting children with projects, I only found agitation and more exhaustion. All of those things were good but would not refresh my spirit. My mind, body, and spirit do exponentially better at responding to the needs of others when I put Christ first.

My husband very wisely stepped in and told the kids to steer all questions to him and give mom space to settle her spirit. He gave me a breathe. The Lord gave me a lesson.

I settled into my quiet-time chair and opened my Bible and journal. ” Holy Spirit guide my thoughts and help me to lean into your answer. ” This is God’s response:

Answers do not come from the news of today, but the good news of the gospel through my son Jesus. There is no anxiousness in me. Journey towards the eternal rather than the temporal. Calamity is an opportunity to shake off the agitation found in your attempts for short term security. Discover peace and calmness through the longterm practice of keeping your eyes fixed on me.

Covid-19 is temporary. Homeschooling my children is temporary. Shortages are temporary. Work changes are temporary. This life of trouble will come to an end. But the love and freedom of my salvation through Christ is eternal. The love of God is eternal, and his will is done along this short journey. Christ, I choose to run after the things that please you.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8 ESV

Turning Your Page

Fear is easy. It was the first feeling we experienced after the Fall of Man in the Garden of Eden. Fear is the consequence of knowing good and evil, but not having the omniscience to know what to do with either. What are you running to?

Take five minutes to sit quietly and listen to God’s answer.
Where do you spend the most time, scripture, or the news?
What does scripture say about the source of your help in a crisis?
Create a picture or collage of all the ways Jesus is currently loving you and helping you to remain calm.

Father, help my anxious thoughts. I confess I have not run to you, and my attitude shows it. Thank you for speaking to me and calming my spirit with the truth of your presence in hard circumstances. Amen

Embrace the Awkward

Posted March 10, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Turning My Page

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness.…
Philippians 2:5-7

I experienced an intense, painfully shy day in an unfamiliar place last week. The knots formed in my stomach, shame flamed my cheeks at the first awkward flub. I wasn’t getting anything right, and I wanted to crawl in a hole. I was sure everyone was laughing at my fumbling.

I forget growth, success, and God’s faithfulness. I was the same insecure child of my past, attempting perfection. But as I pulled out of the wrong bay, I spoke out loud. “Embrace the awkward Karisa. Only you are expecting to make no mistakes”, and with that, the knots in my stomach loosened, and the negative mantra in my head was silenced.

I can’t help that I have moments of mistakes in new terrain, but I can change how I treat myself when I do.

Acknowledge perfectionism is rooted in pride.
My insufficiencies cause me to seek God.
Who am I trying to impress, God, or man?
Embracing mistakes helps others to come to Jesus as they are.

Embracing the awkward means, I accept that I’m still growing and learning in faith.

Turning Your Page

You will make mistakes. There is a difference between sin and mistakes. Mistakes are the gap between what we know and what we still need to learn. I truly believe Jesus made mistakes. He didn’t eat perfectly as an infant, he stumbled and had skinned knees as a child. Jesus learned as an adolescent and adult to draw close to God and walk in humility and persistent obedience. He was God, limiting himself to our fallible flesh.

Jesus didn’t consider equality with God his goal. He embraced the awkward to save mankind and show us how to live free from the bondage to sin. Beauty is created in the persisting through uncomfortable feelings.

How do you react when you make private or public mistakes?
Is there someone you are trying to impress?
Practice responding to mistakes with grace.
Record what you learn from mistakes.

Lord, mistakes are not the end of the story. Help me to embrace, learn, and move forward from my fear of others’ reactions. Amen

What is Truth?

Posted February 27, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Heaven’s army crowded the borders of the universe,
as God in Flesh
wore a robe of bloody lashes and crown of
mockery.

A legion of wings beat the air, ready
to rush to the king’s aid.
Angelic swords sparked against grinding wheel.
Muscles strained under bonds of armor.
The sweaty preparation of a rescue mission. But hope
remained restrained by a silent raised arm of the Commander.

“Forsaken.” Death
disfigured salvation.

Three days God held heaven at bay.
While man reveled in his own truth
WE ARE GOD!

Until grave rumbled to life,
and heaven triumphantly revealed
the passion of truth. Heaven perched on stone
and declared, “He is not here.”
Resurrection.

Meditation on John 18:

³⁶Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”
³⁷“You are a king, then!” said Pilate.
Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”
³⁸“What is truth?” retorted Pilate. With this he went out again to the Jews gathered there and said, “I find no basis for a charge against him. ³⁹But it is your custom for me to release to you one prisoner at the time of the Passover. Do you want me to release ‘the king of the Jews’?”
⁴⁰They shouted back, “No, not him! Give us Barabbas!” Now Barabbas had taken part in an uprising.
John 18:36-40

Familiar God

Posted February 20, 2020 | Karisa Moore

Am I too plain with you God,
leaning into converse with my Master
over chai tea?
I delight in your presence.
Hold your secure hand like a child as I explore your
nature.
I sob and pour out my heartache as
if you are my best friend.

Should I grovel before
your throne, weighted by the
the burden of all I have done?

You are Creator of the universe,
Lord of the harvest, King, Sovereign,
Judge. Your robe of titles drapes across your pedestal,
demanding holiness.
Your throne is established in the heavenly realms.
Your footstool, the earth.

I should tremble as I enter your
throneroom in prayer,
but yet,
I trace your face in the image of my children.
Experience church in the embrace of my husband,
Recognize your rich provision in the
worship song of sparrows,
and draw near to the Holy of Holies in scripture.

Jesus’ love tore the veil and developed a familiarity between us.
You know my sorrow and put to death
the limitations of sin. So I push
open the
massive doors of separation as a joyous child
running barefoot into the arms of her loving Father, Savior, and Friend.

The Place of Starting

Posted February 18, 2020 | Karisa Moore

At the Lord’s command, Moses recorded the stages of their journey. These are the stages listed by their starting points.
Numbers 33:2

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

Deuteronomy 30:19

“Do we stop the story here, or turn the page?” I asked those gathered for my son’s funeral on July 7th, 2014. I didn’t know that question would be the catalyst for Turning the Page on Suicide. All I wanted to do, was encourage Jonathan’s friends to get through the next day. I was dying inside, but I didn’t want others to lose hope. July 8th I woke up with the question as my first thought. Would those words remain a nice phrase of encouragement for others, or would I answer the question for myself?

Turning My Page

Turning the page on my son’s suicide started with a deep breath of choosing, but it wasn’t the first time I made a life-altering choice. My whole life has been filled with moments of choosing blessing or cursing. I can see specific places where I turned from God and others where I chose to walk with him. And some, where I didn’t know I was choosing him. They are now all markers of my journey.

In the 8th grade, I attended a School for the Creative and Performing Arts. Even making it into the school on several levels did not penetrate the constant fog of despair that plagued me. I had long since determined I was nothing, an abstract idea, and I could not yet see the concrete journey God had me on.

Our creative writing teacher was out for the semester due to health reasons and our sub was “unique. ” She didn’t talk like other teachers. She was real and personal. She didn’t teach curriculum like other teachers, and she didn’t treat us, students, as less than. When she assigned us writing, she also wrote for the prompt. I was confused. I had learned how to live in the formula, act like others expected me to, and do just enough to get by. In a crucial moment, she didn’t just challenge my presumptions about myself, she penetrated the barrier of my fear of being seen.

“Your writing is good, but there is nothing of you in it,” she coached. We were studying poetry and while I loved the unique writing styles of the poets I kept my own writing distant and abstract. What followed was my first attempt at writing about myself:

“Visions Through Waters”

(9^th grade, May 2^nd)

Visions through waters
Reflecting from my eyes
Splashing into the pool
Of life, like tears
Wrinkling the shimmering
Image
Of the perfect life
Changing it into only hope

The leaves drop
The dew like seeds
Growing and adding to the
Reflection.

I am hungering for the rain
For my roots are young
The night clouds over
The hope gathers in my heart.
The storm breaks

Finally, the rain ends
And the light shimmers
Through the trees of life.

My life is renewed.

I find it interesting that I was writing about hope. I didn’t understand the depth of the meaning of the word. It was a shifting image and unstable for me then. I needed to turn and see the reflection of hope I couldn’t fully trust existed behind me and through me in the concrete, visible, nature of God. The tangible hope I now touch after losing my son to suicide.

Turning Your Page

God gives you a choice in how to respond to the circumstances, and they become markers you can look back at and see God’s hand throughout your journey. If you are struggling with despair, you can continue your current response to depression or turn in a new direction towards hope and life. This is a starting point. Breathe and choose.

Is there a course you can take or group you can join that stretches your perspective on life? (Join a hiking group, photography, writing, etc.)
Read Psalm 139 and meditate on the different images described.
- What is David saying about God?
- What is David saying about man?
- What is David saying about his relationship with God?
Write a prayer or psalm with your own observations.

Lord, I start here. I take in a breath and acknowledge the hope you place before me. Life and death. Blessing and cursing. May I record life and blessing as I journey with you. Amen

Posts Categorized: devotional

Turning Your Page

Turning Your Page

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page

Turning Your Page

Turning My Page

Turning Your Page

National Suicide Hotline