devotional Archives - Page 7 of 23 - Turning the Page on Suicide

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The Holy Spirit Sang Over Me (Guest Blogger)

Posted November 13, 2018 | Karisa Moore

Our guest blogger Kay Em Ellis and I met at a Serious Writers Conference recently. She share how the Holy Spirit Sang his encouragement to her in her darkest moment of doubt. Be encouraged by her story!

Christian Writers Conference a Place of Connection

Immediately I felt a kindred heart in the fight against despair. At the end of our weekend, with our arms up in worship, Kay came to stand beside me, and I felt deeply encouraged. Such a sweet and amazing woman who is sensitive to the Spirit’s calling.

Kay has traveled the world! She uses her gift of writing to reflect God’s love through poetry, fiction, and lessons God is teaching as she travels.

Check out her travel and faith blog: Awaken the Dawn.

The Holy Spirit Sang Over Me

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Romans 8:15, ESV

I thought depression would go away. It didn’t.

When I gave my life to Christ, I signed up for the World Race mission trip. I lived in eleven countries in eleven months. I felt whole and complete and at peace in Christ.

Living the Christian life in ministry six to seven days per week, constant community, intensive Bible study while living out of a backpack, God used many opportunities to refine me. He sifted me through several bouts of depression and stretched me to what felt like the breaking point multiple times.

He didn’t do it to be mean. He did it because He loves me, and I needed it. But when I melted down at a bus station in Lima, Peru, I failed to lean into God and rest in His strength. I crumbled.

I’ve felt unworthy of love and blessing like I don’t deserve a joyful life, spouse, or even children. So much changed in my heart and life after I met Jesus, but that didn’t mean all my problems vanished.

The Lord had to teach me to break agreement with shame and depression to wage war against them. The battle wasn’t easy, and I came close to calling it quits several times.

It’s too hard! I cried out in my heart and even aloud during heartfelt prayer. I can’t do it anymore! But, each time I said I can’t, God countered the lie with, YOU CAN. Sometimes I believed Him; sometimes I didn’t.

It was seven in the morning when I broke in Lima, Peru. I sat at the bus station, waiting to climb aboard the bus that would take my squad to Ecuador. Silent tears poured as I replayed how badly I always messed everything up, specifically one thing I’d been struggling with from my past. I criticized myself, heading toward a destructive path of self-condemnation.

Shame bubbled up. My thoughts spiraled into a dark chasm I hadn’t realized still existed in me. But God knew just how deep that darkness ran.

He wanted me to face the shame so I could overcome it.

Cheeks moist, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. The peace of God overshadowed me; then He showed me a vision I’ll never forget, Jesus on the Cross.

Jesus loves you. The concept of love is so skewed in our society, and I don’t think people understand what it means when I try to share His love. I certainly didn’t before I really encountered that love. Even after I chose to follow Christ, it took a long time to comprehend that God could love us so completely, despite our rejection and the muck of our deepest sins.

God loved us first. He loved us when we hated him. It’s His nature. He loves like no one else because God isn’t like anyone else. He sent the Holy Spirit to live in those who have repented of their sins and turned to the Son: to advocate for us, to convict us, and, in this case, to comfort us.

My conviction came through the song. You Are More by Tenth Avenue North. The Holy Spirit sang that song over me, and I soaked in the lyrics while in Ecuador. I am so much more than who this world tells me I am. Reader, you are not the sum of your past mistakes. Allow the Holy Spirit to remake you. Lean back, absorb the truth of God’s redeeming love.

Please contact me if you would like to appear as a guest blogger.

Mistakes are Missed Takes, Try Again

Posted November 6, 2018 | Karisa Moore

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (NIV).

The devil whispered, “You are not good enough.”

I just returned from a writers conference. I learned more about the writing market, my skillsÂ were honed by great speakers and faculty. Interest in my current manuscript was tangible and God forged relationships with other warrior writers. But among so many amazing people the ugly accuser crept, seeking to reveal weaknesses.

I made an embarrassing mistake, and every last one of my insecurities erupted making it hard to breathe.

And the devil hissed, “You are not good enough.”

But unlike my childhood self, I now know the truth of Romans 8:28. I love God, and his purpose for me redeems even my worst mistakes. Errors are not permanent, and there is a purpose in every experience. I still couldn’t get my body to catch up with my head knowledge of that truth. I was exhausted and felt awful. I sought out the prayer warrior on the team. SheÂ prayed in a way I could not, and IÂ agreed with the reality of who God says I am. The feeling of unworthiness passed.

Are you coming into agreement with who God says you are? Here are steps to take:

Don’t dwell in the attack/ fight back
Acknowledge/confess, any sin causing you to stumble and repent
Claim the truth of Christ found in scripture
Pray for the spirit of despair to leave
Stand firm though feelings may not match

God has a good plan for you, and when you choose to love Him above all else, the enemy cannot defeat the purpose God determined for your life.

The devil may accuse, “You are not good enough.”

But God shouts back, “In my image, I created her/him!”

Devotionals are posted every Tuesday at 7pm

Today I Walk Out of the Darkness

Posted October 14, 2018 | Karisa Moore

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:3).

Survivors of Suicide must do what our loved one could not–walk out of the darkness.

We cannot help what was, but we can be a part of changing what is. How?

Humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6)
Be thankful (1 Peter 5:3)
Be present in the lives around you and offer (Matthew 9:35-37)
- love
- faith
- hope
Pray for and defend the oppressed (Psalm 10:17-18)
Pray for and challenge the oppressors (Matthew 5:44, Isaiah 1:17)
Live your God-given life to the fullest (John 10:10)
Take courage as you face your own weaknesses and temptations (Luke 8:4-15)
Grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
Walk together, supporting each other (1 Peter 5:2-4)

This is the foundation God is laying in my grief.Â that help me to continue through the valley of the shadow of death rather than becoming mired in the pit of despair.

If you would like to make a donation here is my link:

Out of the Darkness Walk Donor Drive

When Your Thoughts Are a Horror Film

Posted October 2, 2018 | Karisa Moore

My heart staggers; fear makes me tremble. The twilight of my desire has turned to horror.
Isaiah 21:4 NIV

Turning My Page

Awoke this morning to images of my dead son. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does sometimes I can move my brain to dwell on God’s goodness. Other times I cannot.

God planted some new book ideas last night. A great blessing. But, this new, potential series takes me back to those first days, and once those cataloged images are opened some unwanted ones come with it. So what do I do when my thoughts are uncontrollable?

Take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.
- Meditate on scriptures
- Speak truth over my thoughts
  - I was up late discussing my son
  - Made connections with other men and women who have similar stories
  - Was encouraged by their stories
  - Walked away with ideas for new books
Share my struggle with my support team
Pray
Pour out my complaint before God.
- Lord, I am struggling with my thoughts this morning. I acknowledge that I want Jonathan alive and here. He is not. What do you want me to learn from my son’s death? Is there anything I need to see differently in light of your love? Father, the enemy seeks to destroy my rest and trust in you. Guide my heart and mind to your truth that I may share your trustworthiness in a deeper way. Amen.
Repeat
- Sometimes a spirit of fear does not leave easily or quickly. Does a lion just quit when she doesn’t get her prey on the first try? We have an enemy seeking to devour us, and our thoughts are a place he will pursue relentlessly because they are the stronghold of God.
Fortify my weakened soul.
Rest
Be careful what I watch
Drink plenty of water
Spend time with family and friends

Turning Your Page

You cannot always help where thoughts may go in grief. But, you do not have to stay there.

What are your current thoughts revealing?
How can you develop the mind of Christ in your difficult circumstances?
Who is your support team? Reach out, make them aware of your struggle.

Father, take my thoughts and align them with your truth. Calm my mind and let me rest in the truth that I am yours. Amen

Needing Reminders in No Mans Land

Posted July 17, 2018 | Karisa Moore

As I edit my devotional book, I find that sometimes I still need the reminders of four years ago. It has been a rough couple of days. God is still ahead of me, making my path straight. Find courage in God’s declaration that he knows your path!

(Written on day 10 after my son’s funeral.)

Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Last night my back locked up as my father-in-law, an osteopath, was trying to bring healing and relief. I cried out to God. “I’m trying not to be mad at you, and this isn’t’ helping!” What an amazing God I have, he can handle anything that I dish out at him. He can handle my anger, tears, ups and downs, all of my emotions. We are in a committed relationship.

That committed relationship certainly didn’t occur overnight on my end. I accepted Jesus as my savior as a little girl, but by the time I was a teenager I had come to believe that I was a pawn in a stupid game that God was playing and I wanted no part of it. So I decided to play my own game with my own rules and almost destroyed myself. When I opened myself to his love, I discovered a God who goes before me, who is with me, and who will never forsake me.

I can see clearly amid our overwhelming loss, God is putting comfort in place as we face every parent’s nightmare. A walking friend introduced me almost ten years ago to the cemetery where my son is buried. I continued to walk there with Jonathan as he grew up.

It was the only connection I had to any cemetery in the area, so it seemed like a good choice for Jonathan’s body to be laid to rest. Once the decision was made, my mom did some research. Much of our family is from this area and mom discovered that my great-grandparents are buried in the cemetery I had chosen! We had no idea. Not only are they buried there, but in the exact lot, I desired Jonathan to be buried. A lot that wouldn’t have been available to us if we did not already have family buried there.

Even the weird weather (the sky turned brilliant at 9pm after darkening for the evening) happening since Jonathan’s death is strangely comforting. It as if heaven itself is mourning with us. Dear friend, God prepares a way for us through whatever trials we face. He cares about every hair on our head, and yes, my back as well.

Lord, I praise you that you are committed to me and that I can trust you in my darkest hour.

When Words Don’t Come

Posted April 18, 2018 | Karisa Moore

Scripture:

Exodus 4:15Â 5“You are to speakÂ to him and putÂ the wordsÂ in his mouth;Â and I, even I, will be with your mouthÂ and his mouth,Â and I will teachÂ you whatÂ you are to do...

Devotional:

Y’all might have noticed that I’ve been rather erraticÂ in my posting. Moses,Â whomÂ God is addressing in this scripture,Â waited 40 years to set the Hebrews free. He is in the palace, a perfect position! But when he thinks hisÂ opportunity has finally arrived heÂ gets the calling very wrong. He sets only one person free through murder . . . nope, not God’s plan. So Moses flees and then waits another 40 years to be ready to return to Egypt to set God’s people free. While I don’t think God is going to make me wait as long to continue writing he definitely has me in a holding pattern.

A twofold dynamic is at play. One, I have few words currently surfacing, and two, my family needs my full attention. Several health issues have arisen and are needing quite a lot of appointments. Every time I sit down to write the words don’t come. And that is okay.

We need to relax in silent periods. Writing is my God-given gift of expression, I am secure in his purpose. If he is not putting the words into my mouth, I am quite sure he has a good reason. I trust him with this new leg of the journey, and besides, there have been joyous developments that I will get to share with you very soon.

When we are operatingÂ in the will of God, mighty things happen, even if we can’t do the very thing he calls us to do. The reason? God is good and faithfully maturing us to accomplish HisÂ will. It can become easy for me toÂ lean hard into my own understanding of his purpose, but when I wait patiently on God, amazing things happen!

Trust that he loves to give you good things. Are you feeling flusteredÂ because a clear calling seems to be thwarted at every turn?Â Â Look back at the pattern he has established in your life. Is he growing you? Does he have a different road for you to take? Is he addressing a stumblingÂ block?

Burning bushes often lead to our greatest conflicts, but when we wait patiently, weÂ also witness spectacular displays of God’s sovereignty,Â provision, and salvationÂ for many. I will joyously wait to lead His freedom march across the Red Sea.

Prayer:

Lord, you are preparing me for good things. I trust yourÂ direction. Address the stumbling blocks in my way. I see you tackling myÂ fears, teaching me to trust you completely. Thank you for reminding me that your plan is good, even when detoured in a different direction.Â Amen

Keeping Our Eyes Fixed (Faithful) to Christ

Posted March 9, 2018 | Karisa Moore

Scripture

Mark 5:28,34Â For she said, â€œIf I touch even his garments, I will be made well.â€ . . .Â And he said to her,Â â€œDaughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.â€

Devotional

Yesterday could be summed up in one word.

Overwhelmed.

Many of you have been praying for my family, and I thank you deeply. It has been a very rough week. My pain and insomnia are so severe that I can’t function very well. By the time I made it for my son’s archery practice, my body and mind had enough. I melted down into tears and couldn’t stop them from coming.

Just a glance at my webpage tabs yesterday, would tell you what I spent my day doing. On the one side were scriptures and commentary on the woman who touched the hem of Jesus’ garments to be healed, and on the other multiple medical sites were open researching answers for my family’s myriad of illnesses. The woman who had sought medical care had spent 12 years without relief. She was an outcast and now broke with failed medical treatments. I think she might have shed some major tears. Then she hears about this great healer . . . he’s the answer, I just know it!

Do you and I know Jesus is the answer? And if we do, do we also remember that his plan is good for us?Â Are you wrestling with a God who just will not fit into a nicely wrapped box? Do you believe that his purposes are greater than your circumstances?

The weight of my family’s health is so heavy that it feels as if my faith might break. I want an outward manifestation that God is good, but I realized last night that I don’t need to touch the hem of Christ’s garment, I have HIM in my heart. Do not take for granted that the greatest miracle in our lives is that when we believe, Jesus choosesÂ to dwell with us. No more law to get to God, the answers are all right there, living with us! Amazing!

So as I close the medical tabs of anxious searching this morning, and determine to trust God’s perfect plan. Maybe he does an outward healing, but I can tell you this much for sure. Our family is changing from the inside out.

We cannot always help the moments of wrestling with flesh, the world, our enemy–we live in the crowded, smog filled, faith-challenging world. But, don’tÂ spiral into fear, depression, and despair because God isn’t answering the way we think he should. A friend reminded me last night, what is God’s greater purpose in my circumstances?

The growth in my family spiritually has been noticeable. My book is in the hands of the publisher. And I certainly can speak bold encouragement intoÂ your lives.Â None of my physical circumstances have changed this morning, but God is giving peace from the inside out.

Hit the mark of faith. We’ve stepped out of the boat, but we still have to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.

Prayer:

Father, you are faithful. Help us to deeply root our trust into the rich soil of your promises. When our eyes fail us, help us to breathe in your testimony of miracles. You still do them today! Break the chains of depression that say God will never measure up to our expectations. Thank you for changing my family from the inside out! Amen

Dressing in Delight: Changing our Outlook on Life

Posted February 16, 2018 | Karisa Moore

Numbers 6:25Â The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;Â 26The LORDÂ liftÂ up His countenanceÂ on you, And giveÂ you peace.’Â

Playing dress up was not on my agenda yesterday. I have been battling a cold that is moving in and picking out curtains. To say I was miserable yesterday is an understatement . . . I was even second guessing going out on the planned date with my husband.

But, grandparents arrived to watch the kids and I prepared to leave, such as I am. . . enter Natalie. “Can I pick out your dress?” Dress . . . I was doing well to get out of the house in jeans and a nicer shirt. But, sigh, who can resist a pretty little redhead with big brown eyes who just got to be her daddy’s princess at the Father-Daughter Dance. So dress up it is.

Dancing the night away!

A funny thing happened when I put on the dress. I perked up. I laughed and was more in the mood to go out. Not even daddy escaped the wardrobe fairy. He was transformed into dress pants, my favorite of his blue shirts and a tie put it all together. We even took a picture, just as she and he did for their dance. All because a little girl expected elegance for ourÂ date.

There is something about putting on a different attitude in the circumstances we are in that can help change the course and pattern of our lives.Â When we put on grace, forgiveness, or gratitude that can replace the rags of depression, hatred, and unforgiveness. It doesn’t just happen. We must grab those downward spiraling thoughts and pull them back up out of the pit. Sometimes we need someone to come in and say, ‘You aren’t going out dressed like that!’

Keep those smiles looking good.

Make a date this week and then dress, not based on feelings, but on the event planned for.

Some suggestions that perk me up:

A hikeÂ in the woods
Out with your spouse
Coffee with a friend
Trampoline with kids (impossible not to giggle)
A local band
Photography
Art class
Surprise me

I would love to hear how your date went. What did you talk about? Where did you go? What was your favorite moment? Did you find your countenance improved?

Seeing Through the Pain: Message of Hope

Posted January 20, 2018 | Karisa Moore

Luke 12:22Â Then Jesus said to his disciples:Â â€œTherefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.Â 23Â For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.Â 24Â Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!Â 25Â Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?Â 26Â Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Dear Page Turners,

A little goldfinch visited today. I am quite sure she was at my window a year ago, her strange behavior the same. She is more interested in what is going on inside our house than anything outside. She sits, looking directly at me, tilting her head. Then she lands on the sill to get a closer look. Neither the barking dog, nor the kids frighten her away.

She is a love note from God. Love notes are moments when God does something that wows me! Iâ€™ve received many of them throughout the years, but this was extra special because it reached through the haze I walk through these days and stirred my heart. My problems are deep and many layered, but God’s is faithful.

She sat there looking at and declaring with every little twitch of her head. â€œHe loves you, he values you, and he is providing for you.” She spent about an hour with me her last visit, but I easily dismissed the visit as a passing “interesting” moment until she returned today.

How quickly I can forget He loves me, when the mess of the years problems seem insurmountable. Having her suddenly appear as I walked into the office took my breath away. God knew I needed to be reminded of hope. He knew that I was struggling in my exhaustion to even look for his many provisions for my family. So he made his promise clear through my little feathered example.

Are you soured by circumstances? Cynical about the knowledge that God is good, because all you see and feel is bad? Frantically scrambling to fix whatever is wrong in your life? Come to the window with me. Look at a little bird whose only thought today was to serve her master in a big way.

May I be that little bird for you. Tapping on your heart to remind you that God sees and values you, and he is very much in the midst of your loneliness, your despair, and your prayers!

Love,

Karisa

Fighting Dirty For The Ones We Love

Posted November 8, 2017 | Karisa Moore

2 Corinthians 5:21Â God made Him who knew no sin to be sinÂ on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

Romans 5:5Â And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. 6Â ForÂ atÂ justÂ the right time,Â whileÂ we wereÂ stillÂ powerless,Â ChristÂ diedÂ forÂ the ungodly.Â 7Â It is rare indeed for anyone to die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.â€¦

When was the last time you fought dirty for the one’s you love? Or for an enemy? I’m not talking cheating, I am talking about getting dirt under the nails, sweating, and digging deep into all you’ve got and then giving some more. Valuing that spouse who has hurt you deeply. Treating the bully at work with kindness. Fighting dirty is not based upon changed behavior, it is deeply rooted in who Christ is in us!

We love because he first loved us. God didn’t just give us a list of do’s and don’ts, pat us on the back, and send us on our way. He was and is involved in creation! So much so, that at just the right time, while we were still sinning he came to earth in the form of a human child. He experienced sweat, he had splinters in his skin, and scars on his back from loving us. He knew our struggle with temptation. He knew we were oppressed, and he knew our depression. He fought dirty for us!!

Depression, suicide, hopelessness is a dark and dingy place, because hopelessness is wrapped in lies about our identity and the character of God. I was once smothered in those lies. My son died in those lies. How do we counter such a devious and destructive attack that often begins when we are children?! We battle by getting to know the character of God and acting on the hope he offers to us.

I didn’t know God. Scripture is like sitting across from God and hearing him tell his side of the story. Prayer is a constant conversation (both speaking and listening) with God. Fellowship with other in process believers encourages, challenges, and brings me out of my shell. This is my foundation. As a result, I can’t sit idly by and put on blinders to the suffering of others. I have my hands in the dirt of humanity. Be all in because God was all in for us!

Let me know your story in the comments. How can I fight dirty for you!?