Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29
“Don’t call me Naomi,†she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.†(Ruth 1:20 NIV)
Planting words of love and kindness takes constant weeding, daily awareness of what is coming out of our mouths, and commitment to developing a vocabulary of blessing rather than cursing.
Words and actions someone like Naomi struggling with despair needs to hear and experience:
Weep for what has been lost and experienced with them
Walk with them even if their despair does not immediately change
Speak the truth in love
Live your own life to the fullest
Serve
Bless
Be determined
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.†When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her. (Ruth 1:16-18 NIV)
I proof courage before it makes headlines. Erase errors and daily edit my existence until acceptance. The looks, scholarships, the homecoming queen, the pageantry—You caption my life—A Success On and Off the Field. But fear echoes in my ears, after the bleachers stop pounding with admiration. I don’t know who I am without the helmet. I polished life before my final submission. Made sure remembrance is stamped into who you think I am. Before the Suicide.
Motherhood began tomorrow. Hopes and dreams swaddle in my soul, as I repeat the ritual of laying you to rest. and cradle new life as it shocks my heart from the grave mistake you made.
(Every birthday is a chance to recommit to living motherhood wide open.)
My heart cries out for you if you are currently cutting. I understand the deep heartache, hatred, and pain that goes into this cycle. It took an act of God to stop mine, and I pray the same for you. Your life is so valuable to Him and to me.
This is how God’s love was revealed among us: God sent His one and only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. --1 John 4:9 BSB
Therefore, every second, even the abuse and hardest moments you experience matter to him. He died for them. Keep turning your page to find out what happens next. Live. Reach out and allow others to reach in. They won’t do it perfectly, but share your heart because you need to, and they too need to know they are not alone. We are created to connect with others. We need each other. I am encouraged by each breath you choose to take. And I thank God for each breath I take.
(Poetry response to a person contemplating suicide.)
When I can’t take anymore and decide to give up … Hope seeped into my blood A resurrecting transfusion of truth Captivating the germ of thought like a head-turning shape, A glimpse of His hands, cut for me. Stopped my cutting. My self-destructing. God wore my hate, my shame, like I’m worth saving. I couldn’t fathom a fearless night, but when Jesus held my broken soul, I felt whole.
What is this life? Life. Nothing more, nothing less–PRECIOUS Why am I here? To encourage, to speak life, testify to what I’ve seen and heard. I no longer fear when I can’t take it anymore, I’ve given up and decided to live, no matter what hell hurls at me.
Depression is a villain masquerading as hero. Promising romantic rescue as he brings poisoned wine to lips.
Depression pirates your treasure. burying faith, relationships, desire, work, adventure beneath the unmovable rock of despair.
He woos souls with thoughtless caress. “I’ll always be here for you.†“You don’t need anyone.†“I am devoted when others divorce you.†“You can escape if you want to … but you don’t want to.â€
Depression grips with jealous isolation. Till blood flows thick, and fear penetrates The last barriers of reality. Â Prying your fingers away from the ledge of truth. I WANT TO LIVE!
Turning the Page on Suicide-Taking Deeper Breaths https://www.chirpapp.com/audiopost/egx5zrnKvM
Welcome to Turning the Page on Suicide. I apologize for the
long absence. This evening I received a gentle reminder to post, even if I manage
just a word or two.
In the first days of grieving my son’s suicide I posted
every day, without fail. It may have been a few sentences, a poem or a thought,
but there was something about the daily discipline of posting while
experiencing despair. It was like taking a clean breath in the middle of thick
stale air.
Tonight, it took swim lessons to remind me to breathe again.
I am learning the different strokes in swimming because I am tired of panicking.
As someone who almost drowned as a ten-year-old, I value air, but I have never
learned how to relax when desperate. My instructor worked with me on not
letting a bad breath ruin the next one. Recovery
takes practice, consistency and retraining muscles to value the oxygen given. Relaxing
into each moment stretches out and strengthens the power in each breath. I stop
fighting and start trusting the water.
Sorrow sneaks up on us and chokes our air with business, troubles,
and even well-intentioned service. Maintain your breath. I know no other way but
to spend time with Jesus, study his word, spend time in creation, connect with
others and apply what I am learning. Writing and now swimming teaches me to
breathe deeply, even if all I get in a day are a few deep cleansing breaths.
Challenge: What helps you to breathe? Drawing, hiking,
sewing, reading. Pick an activity or explore something new and focus on taking deeper
breaths of the experience. What do your senses tell you in the moment? Is it
easier to connect with others when you breathe life more slowly and intentionally?
Your story is worth writing! I breathe, turn the page and
find out what happens next.
When the cup we pass around the table grows cold with doubt’s tears and our empty souls keep feasting on the moldy bread of fear–you come. Pouring new sweet wine, forever bubbling generously over the sides of our expectations. and serve fresh bread from the banquet table of your papa, the king.
Allow new breath, though motherhood aches, and mind screams in the tight squeeze of despair. Each face, traced anew, is valued from womb to grave. Every sorrow felt, a precious jewel, shaped and hardened by the pressure of both good and bad experience in my heart. My children, shimmer in the palm of a God who loves.
” The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3 BSB).
It is now 1:51 in the morning and I have given up on sleep. So I came downstairs to meditate on scripture and pray. This as my go-to habit when I can’t sleep. The time has been sweet, refreshing my spirit, and reveals so much about myself and God.
The Lord prompted me to share with you step by step, as it is happening, what my time looks like.
Supplies:
Bible
Writing Utensils (Highlighter, Pen)
Online Commentary
Journal
Meditating on Scripture
Steps:
Read through the first time without notes
Highlighted verses that stood out to me
Wrote out thoughts or questions in margins (can be done in a journal as well)
Looked up parts I didn’t understand
Looked for context words (i.e. lots of battle terms)
Prayed for understanding throughout, for myself, and for you
prayed for rest
Perfect Peace=Perfect Trust (What I learn about God and myself in each verse)
God’s Character/My Character
Our Salvation/Strong City
Open Gates/Faithful
Keeps in Peace/Steadfast Mind
Rock Eternal/Trust Lord Forever
Humbles Prideful/The Oppressed Win
Upright/Smooth Path
His Judgment Teaches Righteousness/Student
Worthy of Praise/Wait, Obey, Know Him
Majesty/ Experience Evil Because of God’s Grace for All Mankind
Authority/Protected From Enemies
Establishes Peace/Open to His Good Things
Lord and Ruler/ Honor His Name No Matter Who Rules Over Me
Destroys Oppressor/Temporary Suffering
Glorified Through the Righteous/Repent and Cry Out
Disciplines the Wicked/I Suffer If I Do Not Do What is Right or Bring Salvation to Others
Questions:
What does “perfect peace” mean? vs 3
What is the significance of a upraised hand? vs 11
Lest you be intimidated by the fact that I am looking up the Hebrew translation of the verses, realize this, I love languages. I am a word girl. We lose some depth of meaning through our English translation, so I try to look at the original. This is a desire God placed in me as an aspect of my delight in scripture. Reading the original aids in my understanding. By no means do you have to do this, and I would actually caution, anyone beginning to read scripture for the first time to keep it simple.
At the core, my basic reading pattern looks like this:
Read
Question
Apply
Indeed, the Hebrew revealed something I didn’t see before. “Perfect peace” could literally be translated “peace peace”. By doubling up, the writer is implying this is complete, without a shadow of a doubt peace. It doesn’t come from man building security on high. It comes from God fortifying our lives, protecting us day and night, and trusting him to do what is right for us.
God has been chiseling away at the hard places in me where I lean on my own understanding and don’t trust him (i.e. my daughter’s health) and revealing over and over his trustworthiness.
Going back to my list again, what developed as I read is the following:
Read–God’s actions my response (looked for in each verse)
Question– What is the significance of God’s hand being raised? (I figure a kingly gesture of judgment, like a gavel)
Apply–God is trustworthy in my family’s health. Run to him for healing and direction. He will not let me down. Rest in his faithfulness.
Blessing and and peace peace dear brothers and sisters.
National Suicide Hotline
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/
