Posts Tagged: hope

Christmas Hope Born in Grief

Posted December 5, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Ephesians 3:…16 I pray that out of the riches of His glory, He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of His love,…

Grieving Christmas is a list of juxtapositions. We are celebrating the birth of our savior, but we have lost a child. We are connecting with family members, but there is always one missing. We are opening gifts, but feel guilty for moving on without Jonathan.

God shaped the tangled vines of grief into beauty, by coming into our brokenness through Jesus, and he means for us to do the same. We display His identity, through joy, in the harshest of times. I’m not suggesting a forced, faked happiness, but a love that bubbles up in your pain, not in spite of it.

Christ didn’t come when everything was hunky dory in the world. He came in our desperate hour, when our losses outweighed our gains, and when the boot heel was on our throats.Israel was crying out for a savior, and as God in flesh took his first cry of humanity, our grief was changed to worship. Hope was born to the wise and the lowly, to shepherds and kings, to women and children, and to the poor, sick and needy. He was born in grief and raised us to new life in love.

That love enables me to shape grief into a new story. Not of what is lost, but what is gained. I fix my eyes ahead because Jonathan lived. His life is still changing mine. What I see as I grieve with hope:

  • Lives encouraged
  • God’s presence with us
  • Laughter is good medicine
  • My kids comforted
  • My family growing
  • Love poured out to the downcast
  • Souls saved from despair
  • Hope shaping my grief into joy

Open the gift of grief and allow beauty to be formed from the ashes of those things we cherished most on this earth.Loosen your grip on what isn’t and open your hands to the gift of what is and will be. What hope do you see this Christmas?

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Putting on Your Skates: When the impossible becomes possible

Posted November 17, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Philippians 2:…26For he has been longing for all of you and is distressed because you heard he was ill. 27He was sick indeed, nearly unto death. But God had mercy on him, and not only on him but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow. 28Therefore I am all the more eager to send him, so that when you see him again you may rejoice, and I may be less anxious.…

Resilience does not come from some secret place only a select few can access. It comes from knowing that there is always a “but God”. . . in every hardship. –Karisa

Today, I admit to you that I am discouraged. My hip is painful and my knees are getting in on the act. A visit with the orthopedist did not result in any easy or long-term solutions.  They cannot replace cartilage. Surgery to clean out the socket, at this point of deterioration, may be too late to be effective, and a hip replacement would wear out and have to be done again. So I sit here, sipping my anti-inflammatory concoction and remind myself to put on my skates.

A couple of weeks ago, I wanted so badly to get out on the floor with my kids and skate at my nephew’s party, that I finally laced up and went out. I was very cautious . . . at first. One fall and my cartilage might tear worse than it already is. But it was such a pleasure to be out there and I did not fall! So, do I withdraw from life because it could be painful? Do I stop seeking the great physician because the earthly ones can’t find a solution? No! I am convinced that nothing can separate me from God’s love. Pain included!

In this moment I take in a deep breath and lace up my shoes again. Enjoying the life God gives to me, and trusting him with my mind, body, and spirit. He wants good things for us. Put on your skates, and live life to the fullest. Turn this page, and find out what happens next!

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Hope is a Little Girl in Red Pigtails

Posted July 22, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Hope is a little girl in red pigtails,

flitting ahead of weary motherhood,

inviting flight into crisp blue bird bath of

joy.

Alighting long enough for plump morsels of life.

until branches offers new heights of perspective.

“Up here she tweets”, bouncing excitedly.

Calling me from the security of nesting, to explore

what hope scouts ahead.

 

 

 

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“I Just Want to Die”: Words of Deepest Pain

Posted July 19, 2016 | Karisa Moore

For many suffering from depression and their caretakers, ” I just want to die!” are the most painful words to hear and say.

Do we freeze with fear when we hear those words? Do we dismiss them as manipulative? Are we on our knees petitioning day and night for relief, as I was for Jonathan? How do we escape this painful pit of depression that often accompanies living difficult and painful existence? Who do we turn to for help? How can we combat an unseen enemy that so successfully tears our lives apart? Where is God in this pain?

Scripture is clueing me in to God’s response to our spiritual health questions:

1 Kings 19:4But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers.”

  • From Elijah’s struggle with depression I know that God allowed him to run away
  • God interacted with Elijah “What are you doing here?”
  • He fed, provided water and allowed Elijah to rest
  • God acknowledged that the journey was to great for Elijah
  • He commanded Elijah to go back the way he had come (stop running away)
  • Provided a companion to take over
  • Did not take his life

Mark 9:28 After Jesus had gone into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” 29Jesus answered, “This [demon] cannot come out, except by prayer.” 

  • Prayer
  • Sometimes the only way of breaking through depression, mental illness and suicide is to cry out to the one who knocked down the walls of Jericho, made a child defeat a giant, and came to us in the form of a tiny baby to set us free from sin!
  • We aren’t talking the now I lay me down to sleep prayers, but the prayers that sweat blood, and wrestle with God expecting blessing–expecting Him to answer.

 

Ruth 1:…16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. 17“Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.” 18When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her.…

  • Stand with the depressed
  • Go with them wherever they journey
  • Love God
  • Risk leaving the known to venture into the unknown
  • Make it clear that you are with them all the way

Nehemiah 2:2 Now I had not been sad in his presence. 2So the king said to me, “Why is your face sad though you are not sick? This is nothing but sadness of heart.” Then I was very much afraid. 3I said to the king, “Let the king live forever. Why should my face not be sad when the city, the place of my fathers’ tombs, lies desolate and its gates have been consumed by fire?”…

  • Sharing
  • Speak up about what depresses us.
  • Acknowledge what we see in our friends.

Psalm 143:…6I stretch out my hands to You; My soul longs for You, as a parched land. Selah. 7Answer me quickly, O LORD, my spirit fails; Do not hide Your face from me, Or I will become like those who go down to the pit. 8Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in You; Teach me the way in which I should walk; For to You I lift up my soul.…

  • Petition
  • Cry out to God
  • Be real with him
  • Listen for his love
  • Allow him to teach you the path through depression

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 42:11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence.

  • Remember
  • God does not change and therefore we can count on his faithfulness no matter our failures
  • Praise is not dependent upon feeling

 

1 Samuel 16:23So it came about whenever the evil spirit from God came to Saul, David would take the harp and play it with his hand; and Saul would be refreshed and be well, and the evil spirit would depart from him.

  • Hope/Praise
  • Music can soothe the soul

 

Questions I plan on asking myself:

  • What am I doing in my depression?
  • Am I allowing God to provide food, water, and rest?
  • Am I confessing my fears?
  • Am I isolated?
  • Am I remembering?
  • What am I listening to?

 

 

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How Can I Keep From Singing (Reworked)

Posted July 1, 2016 | Karisa Moore

My brother reworked the hymn “How Can I Keep From Singing” to honor and remember his nephew Jonathan. It mostly draws from Unitarian and Christian versions, with a couple of lines written by my brother.

My life flows on in endless song Above earth’s lamentation.

I hear the real, though far off hymn That hails a new creation.

Above the tumult and the strife, I hear the music ringing; . . .

 

What though the tempest loudly roars, I hear the truth, it liveth.

What though the darkness round me close, Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm While to that rock I’m clinging.

Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth, How can I keep from singing?

 

With each new day my story grows, the pages ever turning.

And through it all I always hold This flame of hope still burning.

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, A fountain ever springing;

All things are mine since I am his–How can I keep from singing?

How Can I Keep From Singing Enya

 

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Cacooned in Depression is a Butterfly!

Posted June 26, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Where’s the bell to tug–raise the alarm “I’M NOT DEAD”!

Cocooned in a casket of depression, quickly lowering

hopes into the chasm of darkness. . .

Just wait a second more . .

Wait. . .

to stretch wings

and discover I am a born-again butterfly.

Butterfly

 

 

 

 

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Grief on the Grill

Posted April 16, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Marinated memories tenderized by time,

simmer and sizzle with laughter on the grill.

Still tender pink and moist with grief.

Yet, each bite bursting with the fresh flavor of hope.

 

 

 

 

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I Am A Tomb Raider

Posted January 29, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Hope, lit in abstract is easily

Snuffed out by passionate loneliness.

Attempts to breathe, clotted by

veins scarred by sorrow.

Eyes, scaled by experience and

Belief,

Closed in sleep against the cruelties

Of the world.

 

I’m not afraid to climb into the ditch with you,

I’ve dug this grave before.

Grave digger turned grave robber.

Joined, a band of brothers and sisters, saturated

In the oil of faith,

searching tombs of darkness for a pulse, because you matter

To me.

The torch of our souls leaning close to

living corpses already making beds of graves.

Relentless in calling Lazarus from the

tomb. It is not your time yet.

I am hope, concrete with dirty fingers.

 

 

 

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Testimony Grit

Posted January 17, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Evidence of grit–

Heels dug into turf

in repetitive resilience.

Battered souls

wilted weary

by devastating

defeats.

Coached back up

to the surprise of

of our enemy’s doggedness.

Shoulders pressed forward

against all odds.

Hope faithfully

gains ground with eyes

firmly fixed on the end

zone of belief.

 

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Too Much!

Posted January 14, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 34:…17The righteous cry, and the LORD hears And delivers them out of all their troubles. 18The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.…

Some days you wake up and your world is already crumbling. Daniel woke up crying in pain, and it went down from there until everyone was being unpleasant to one another. The explosions inside me were oozing out in sharp words and I’m not sure I want to keep them at bay any more.

Now I sit here in the silence, the train whistling in the distance and I feel as if I am stuck on the tracks. Lord, they do not owe me a thing! Help me to glorify you. I don’t have to keep up appearances, I don’t have to hold it all together. Life on this earth sucks sometimes and I’ve had enough. I want my son to be well, or at the very least, to know what is wrong. Please father, give me the strength to keep pressing forward and not to be mean to my family because I can’t fix what is wrong. Open my heart and mind to your will, not mine! Only in the garden of trusting you completely can I be fully present and pleasant to my family. Amen.

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National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/