You Were Always a Swan
“Such an ugly duckling.” the others cackled, slapping the water in agreement.
(Your head ducked),
Under the burden of shameful stares.
(You swam away),
Inclined to believe what others say.
(You)
Couldn’t see the swan swimming smooth as silk on the other side of the reeds.
(Searching)
Inside yourself for true identity.
(Your answers)
Decidedly never came.
(You)
Ended the story before your clouded reflection cleared.
Dear insecurities,
You’re the only one that’s always there
When I don’t want you to be.
Padding my soul of diffidence,
My mind of woe,
And constructing my mighty, drumming heart
Into
A fragile sketch of affection.
My direction is elusive as I
Bicker my way past your repulsive games.
You mislead me.
You blind me.
Your flames ignite as every dismal
Experience, rejection, fear, words
Assemble around your blaze
Admiring you, computing to your destruction
Tossing wood pellets into a fiery bonfire
As you would a coin in a fountain of wishes
But still, somewhere deep within me
Holds the power to extinguish your fire.
(This is © by Isabella Robbins and can only be used with her expressed permission.)
I’m Isabella Robbins—a sophomore in high school. I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues along with anxiety & depression, but have recently discovered writing is the best way I can release my feelings. Instead of holding my thoughts and emotions within my already busy mind, poetry has enabled me to write them out in a form of art. By doing this, I realize I’m not alone, and can only hope I can let others know that too.
Poetry is posted every Thursday at 7pm.
I am elevated emptiness
puffed up with my will.
I cradle and nurse fear like a
mother with starved child
I breathe deeply, as I pinch your oxygen
I am the shiver that shadows your spine,
always creeping in the open doors of
crowded confidence.
You can’t escape me,
human gods. You elevate to
pedestals and put crowns on achievement.
I find the cracks in
your stoic status and crumble
saints and sinners with the
tap, tap,
of my chisel of
doubt.
Poetry is posted every Thursday at 7pm (Garment of Joy Next Week)
One of my favorite ways to write poems is to respond to other poets. Are you up for the challenge? How would you respond to someone battling the Spirit of Despair? How would you offer hope? What weapons would you use? Link back to this post and place your link in the comments.
Concrete life is ground up by grief
Exposing the naked foundation of what I believe.
Slowly you softened my soul with tears,
fill me with the mortar of faith
And build brick by brick, a temple of Grace
Love and Hope for others to come in.
The snap of surprise,
as the ragged watch you
boldly clear a temple bustling
with the commerce of greedy self-worship.
Freeing frightened birds flapping wildly in cages of false belief.
Awakening truth in the hearts of prostitutes, liars,
and outcast.
God leans on sinners.
Asks the wicked to pray for him.
Chooses friends among enemies, and
intimately sweats the blood of flesh, to meet
his own righteous expectations.
When crumpled pages still turn
marked and argued within margins
and ideas of who you are no longer boxed in
then I falter no longer, but trust even when …
When the dust settles over
grave and grass grows
thick over death, your life
still quickens in the womb of
a mother’s grief.
Home is a bouquet of sweet memories. I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar fragrance of you.
Birthed from the womb
of your grave, I gasp my first breath of new
life and cry out.
I love finding other poets to respond to in poetry. Take a look at Radhika Shah’s poem, “Depression calls again” as posted on Jalvis Quotes.
My response:
Bed made, doubt can’t stop me.
Renumbered days feel possible.
Attention, I will not quit!
Not your call, Not your call.
Bed dressed, habit of hope.
Time waits quietly,
already prepared for the
wrong pressed against determination.
Is there a way through? Is there a way through?
Attention all obstacles
opposite to thought, you are
mere specks of trouble
darkening my life.
Is it possible?
Smile, remember days overcome.
Tried and tested. Tried and tested.
Uncomfortable stretching of muscles untrained.
Help me with your presence, so that I may
lie in peace, lie in peace.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/