“God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God”.
“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us”.
2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans 5:5
Turning My Page
When was the last time you fought dirty for the ones you love? Or for an enemy? I’m not talking cheating, I am talking about getting dirt under the nails, sweat on the brow, and dig deep into all you’ve got and then give more. Love the spouse who hurt you deeply. Treat the bully at work with kindness. Fighting dirty is not based upon changed behavior, it is deeply rooted in who Christ is in us.
We love because he first loved us. God didn’t just give us a list of do’s and don’ts, pat us on the back, and send us on our way. We can’t give those battling depression a toolbox of mental health solutions and leave them to figure it out.
God was and is involved since the creation of the world. He formed us with his hands. Nothing else in all of creation is described that way and even when Adam and Eve left God’s perfect plan, he stayed involved. So much so, that at just the right time, while we were still sinning, he came to earth in the form of a human child.
Jesus experienced rejection, sweat, felt thorns dig into his skin, and bears scars on his back from loving us. He knew our struggle with temptation. He knew we were oppressed, and he knew our depression. He fought dirty for us. Jesus told the disciples when he returned to heaven, he would still be with them through the Holy Spirit and that was enough for them to get their own hands dirty with humanity.
Depression, suicide, hopelessness is a dark and dingy place because hopelessness is wrapped in lies about our identity and the character of God. I was once smothered in those lies and my poor sweet son died in those lies. Children counter such a devious and destructive attack that often begins in their early development. I don’t accept that I’m helpless to fight back. My weapon is scripture. Know the character of God and act on the hope he offers to us.
When I didn’t know much about God, reading scripture was like having him sitting across from him and hearing him tell his side of the story. Prayer became a constant conversation–both speaking and listening–to God. Time with other believers encouraged, challenged, and brought me out of my shell. This is my foundation. As a result, I can’t sit idly by and put on blinders to the suffering of others. My hands in the dirt of humanity. Be all in because God was all in for us. Get your hands dirty.
Turning Your Page
Think of souls as gardens. The apostle Paul described ministry in this way: Some plant, some water, but it is God who causes them to grow (1 Corinthians 3:16). Use the skills you have to be present in the life of someone wrestling with despair. Love is something we all have.
Love is not based on feelings. It is a practice, it is a disciplined pattern. Start small. How has someone loved you well? Identify the elements of how they spoke life into you.
Identify a few people around you who need encouragement.
How can you give opportunities to listen and provide tangible hope? Try to be consistent.
Let me know your story in the comments. How can I fight dirty for you!?
Creater, you’ve had your hands in my humanity from the beginning. Give me a heart of flesh that I can love my family and neighbor more deeply. Amen
You planted me firmly in the desert of despair. Why?
A comfort. A witness.
Flesh is not my strength. I am dust under the weight of sorrow soaked hope. Cracked souls remember rain will come. I grow rooted. Crave you. Secure. Sustenance will come, you appointed the season. I know it.
Striving quiets. Your promises stored.
Though I stand here for a hundred years. A drop of your love is enough for me until you flood my soul with the joy of presence. And I feel the steady rhythm of revealed rain.
“The Lord
is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is
patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to
repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).
Turning
My Page
My bed finally deflated. After three weeks of camping out in the living room, post foot surgery, I made the decision I would brave the stairs to sleep in my bed. I didn’t realize until I determined to press forward into healing how crippled I had become in spirit. Two nasty falls had made me terrified of reinjuring my vulnerable foot. Even when my family attempted to help or push me around in a wheelchair, I would grip the wheel or gripe that they were going too fast. I wanted control of the healing.
But I don’t
get to determine how long the bone, tendon, muscles, or skin take to heal. I
both need to be actively moving my foot to keep muscle weakness from setting in,
and keep weight off it. Time, patience, and a willingness to allow others to
provide for me are all necessary. Oh, how restless I become while dependent upon
others.
God, I treat
you with the same impatience. When I hear another person has given in to despair,
I wonder where you are. When my own children wrestle with loss and health issues
beyond their comprehension, I grow weary. Do something! I scream. I
know you have a perfect plan, but this does not feel perfect. I desperately
want to know my two remaining children will survive their physical challenges
and thrive in life and faith. I want friends and family to know the compassion
and grace of God, and I want the tide of despair in this world to turn.
And God agrees with those desires because at just the right time he entered the world in human form. We were sinners, longing for someone to rescue us from the cycle of destruction we seemed set in. Heal us from our sickness! Deliver my child from demons! Rescue us from oppression. Years and years Israel waited for the Savior and he didn’t come. They poured over scripture, neighboring nations heard of the promised one, and paranoid kings shivered with nightmares of a God greater than themselves. People suffered. Still, he didn’t come.
Just as God knew
his one and only son had to be born at the exact time in history for
Christianity to spread like fire, he enters our pain and reveals his good,
pleasing and perfect will. Do some of us hear the message and reject him? Yes. He
is nothing like I expected. He will never fit into my box of preconceived
beliefs, but he expands my faith to recognize his will is that none perish. Healing
came for all mankind.
Do you have
a fear you need to deflate? Identify any fear that hinders you from moving forward
and embracing life. There are so many heroes of faith. Study the ones in
scripture, study the modern-day heroes of faith. Not even one of you is alone
in fear, alone in circumstances, and or alone in faith. Take courage that you
can stand firm even when your heart feels it can’t.
What fears are currently plaguing
your life and crippling action? List them on paper and then pick one or two
verses addressing fear to meditate on.
Observe others who wrestle fear. What
actions do they take to move forward, what encourages them?
What positive habits do you have, or
will you have that are not based upon feeling? Pick a few to do every day
without fail. These are nonnegotiable.
Lord, I am paralyzed with fear. Reveal the clear next step and help to stand firm when I feel I cannot go further. Amen
“So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:6-8, NIV).
Sara cradled me as she braced for impact.
I was only a toddler and the seatbelt laws had not yet been implemented. It was News Year Day and my parents were driving back from a party with their friend holding me on her lap in the back seat. As we drove through a four-way stop another car broadsided us sending Sara and I flying against the opposite door. I was safe in her arms, but Sara’s collarbone was broken by the impact.
I have no memory of the traumatic event, but others do. Sara’s only thought, as she saw the oncoming headlights, protect Karisa. She sacrificed her own body to keep me from harm. I couldn’t stop the evil that occurred that night. I wasn’t even aware of it. The driver of the other car sped off and never seemed to experience justice for hurting us.
Sin has an impact but does not have the final say. For the wages of sin is death (Romans 3:23). Everything in this life is working towards that end, but Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the fullest (John 10:10). His sacrifice on the cross and resurrection has always given the opportunity for an abundant life. The choices are: Come into agreement with death or embrace life.
I hated my life and came into agreement with Satan’s plot by attempting to take my own life. Growing up I accused God of neglecting me and harbored anger towards him for not stopping the evil of abuse in my life. Yes, sin had an impact, but God protected me from the consequences. I now know the only difference between Judas, the betrayer of Jesus and Peter the betrayer of Jesus is, Peter did not take his own life. He turned his page of betrayal to see the resurrection. God built his church on Peter.
God is building his church on me. I thought I was worthless, unredeemable, and God too distant to care about me. God protected my purpose in the loving arms of a woman who bears scars for my sake.
Jesus bears scars for our sake. We may never know all of them, or how deep they are, but he has a mark for every evil done to us and every evil we have done to others.
I am reaching through these next words and cupping your tear-streaked face in my hands and declaring: Your life was purposed since the foundation of the earth. How many times has God redeemed and protected your purpose? He knows you, he created you, and no matter how much evil impacts you he is trustworthy.
I realize I cannot stop the impact of evil, but I can trust God. Yes, evil takes precious things from us, but there is so much more to the story. Don’t stop living it. There is resurrection. There are changed lives. There is hope that does not disappoint. Don’t stop standing firm in the midst of evil. Come to know the one who wins and resurrects every heartache we experience and give crazy, amazing and abundant life.
“Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom.” … “So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions’ den. The king said to Daniel, “May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!” (Daniel 6:3. 10).
Have you ever
completely geeked out over a celebrity? I have.
It was 15 years ago when my husband and I attended a Toby Mac
concert. We were huge DC Talk fans and
seeing Toby Mac perform with his new band Diverse City was just as
exciting.
After the concert, he set up a table outside the auditorium to sign autographs. We didn’t feel like standing in line so we went across the street to Wendy’s and bought some food. At the last minute, we bought some extra food to give to Toby Mac. When we returned we only had to wait a few minutes in line before we were able to talk to him. We gave him the extra food and then had a great conversation about race relations in the church and adopting biracial children. I think I managed to stay calm during the conversation but afterward, whenever I would talk to anyone about it, I would become overexcited and talk very fast. Many years later it is kind of embarrassing to think about how I was on cloud nine simply because I had a conversation with a famous Christian musician.
Oh, and don’t get
me started about the fact that I graduated from the same high school as
Jennifer Garner. My kids groan whenever
I start to mention it. They have heard
it too many times before.
Here’s the thing though, Toby Mac and Jennifer Garner are just everyday people, sinners like everyone else. It is only our culture that has elevated them to the high caste called talented and famous. And if I can be honest with myself, I know they aren’t above anyone else despite what our culture leads us to believe. I also know that Jennifer Garner has never met me and has no idea who I am. Likewise, I am fairly certain that Toby Mac does not remember me, the conversation or the meeting.
Sometimes we
become excited about meeting someone simply because they are famous, rich,
powerful, or popular. Even though in our
heart we know they are simply human like us.
We might wonder what it would be like to be friends with them. We think it would somehow make our lives
better if we were to have them around.
Let me share
something astounding with you. There
is someone who is rich, powerful, strong, and wise who desires a relationship
with you. In fact, HE wants more than
just a casual friendship or a shallow comradery. He wants an intimate, loving, no holds barred,
kind of relationship. He wants to not
only know about you, but He wants to be known by you.
Amos 4:13 says this about Him:
He who forms the mountains, Creates the wind, And reveals his thoughts to man, He who turns dawn to darkness, And treads the high places of the earth- The Lord God Almighty is his name. It is mind boggling to think about this.
Someone who formed the mountains
desires a relationship with you. The one who creates the wind, he reveals his
thoughts to man!! (That is, you and me.) He treads the high places of the earth,
causes the sun to rise and set and he reveals
his thoughts to man!!! Talk about
having friends in high places, that is a truly powerful friend.
Jeremiah 33;2-3 says “This is what the Lord
says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it- the
Lord is his name: ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and
unsearchable things you do not know.”
So yes, the Creator of the world wants us to call out to Him, to seek
Him, and to ask Him questions.
Try to grasp the big picture. He wants to have a relationship with
you! He desires to share things with
you. He also cares about you, though. Did you know that Jesus said in Matthew 10:30
that his Father knows how many hairs are on your head? Is it sinking in yet? He wants to be a part of your life, not just
on Sunday morning, but every day, every minute, every second, all the bad parts,
all the mundane trivial parts, all the exciting events. He wants to be there.
God
in his infinite wisdom though, knew it would be difficult for us as humans to
know an abstract being on a deep level. He wanted us to understand that he was
a compassionate, powerful, and just God.
And he wanted us to know Him on a
profound level.
Philippians 2: 6 explains his solution. (Jesus)” Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness”. He came to be our Redeemer but he also came that we may know him and understand him better. He left heaven to walk on this earth for you and me. He experienced cold, hunger, thirst, cruelty, and temptation in a human body so that you and I might know him fully and so that he could more fully understand us.
As this Advent season winds down, keep your eyes focused on him. The next time you feel disconnected from your co-workers at an office party, or feel like the black sheep at a family gathering, or if you just feel anxious or lonely because the holidays aren’t quite what you thought they should be; remember Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Christmas is a celebration of Emmanuel – God with us.
Jesus’ greatest desire remains the same as it was 2000 years ago in the crowded town of Bethlehem. He desires to be with us no matter who we are, what we have done, or where we are. Praise God! He is with us, He knows us, and He loves us! That is worthy of a celebration!
You paint me a new sunrise in the first breaths of dawn. I smile as I reach for your love notes. Quiet. Still. I know you. I witness your craftsmanship, etched into the canvas of creation. I lean into the truth of your stable character. Faithful. Your love is on my lips because you fill my heart with the joy of presence.
There
is no degree needed to help others, whether you are caring for a loved one or
ministering to others wrestling with depression. Jesus used fishers of men.
Patty testifies, in her
book Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs, that
the only requirement is that others can see—you’ve been with Jesus.
If you are in the Nashville, Tennessee area, Patty is hosting a book launch on Monday, September 30th, from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm at Branches Counseling Center in Murfreesboro. Come meet Patty and be encouraged by her testimony. It was a pleasure presenting Patty’s story to you. Â
Scripture
to meditate on:
“Come,
follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for
people” (Matthew 4:19).
“When
they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled,
ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been
with Jesus” (Acts 4:13).
TPOS:
About seven years after your experience, you became the caregiver for your
husband as he too battled depression. What words of encouragement do you have
for caregivers?
It
is challenging to take care of someone who is battling depression, so do not
feel guilty for taking care of yourself, it is vital. You will also feel a lot
of emotions yourself, maybe even frustration or anger. Don’t beat yourself up
for feeling that way, many of those feelings are perfectly normal emotions.
This is a lot to take on.
TPOS:
How does a caregiver take care of themselves during their loved one’s crisis?
Eat
well, stay hydrated, make sure you are getting enough rest, stay in the Word.
In fact, my relationship with the Lord went to a whole new level. I clung to
Him during that season of my husband’s depression. Join a support group. Get
into a bible study. Take breaks. Go have lunch with a friend. Take a bubble
bath. Give yourself time to recover and recuperate.
TPOS:
Is the Bible silent on depression and our response? How can we encourage others
through God’s Word?
The
Bible is not silent on depression. Even though it doesn’t use the word depression, it
uses words like despair, gloom, downcast, oppressed, misery. God’s Word is
life. Continue to speak that Word of life over people. I encourage others to speak God’s Word out
loud. Often, I would take the Bible and march through my home and proclaim the
Word of God out loud.
TPOS:
Why is it easy to hide depression?
Actually,
it is not easy to hide depression. It’s work. It’s a conscious choice to hide the depression. There’s a
stigma, and as Christians
aren’t we supposed to be exuding peace and joy? Aren’t we supposed to be happy all of the
time? We don’t want
to admit, especially to our church, we are not okay. We come to church and
often wear the mask more because we think we have to look like we’re okay.
TPOS:
As a newly freed from depression, a believer in Christ, what training did you
receive to share hope to others?
None.
I was just invited to share my story. God gave me a testimony, and testimonies have a way of reaching people in
ways nothing else can.
TPOS:
What does the church do well in addressing depression?
The
church is really good at encouraging people to stay in the Word. They can be a
wealth of information and can
help you find direction. They can guide you to counselors, resources,
and contacts to find help. I would like to see church leaders receive training
on depression and how to handle depression, rather than referring them to others. It would be great if people could
actually come to someone in leadership who knows how to talk with them, direct
them, and help them see the root. In Finally
Free, I offer tips on how to handle someone who comes to them with
depression.
TPOS:
In what ways does the church need to grow in its response to believers
wrestling with depression?
As
mentioned in Finally Free, it’s important to treat
the whole person—body, soul, spirit.
Encourage
pastors and leaders that their input, encouragement, and inspiration as a
spiritual leader is so important, because the spiritual
element of the treatment plan is often missing.
TPOS:
What should be the church’s response to unbelievers struggling with
depression?
I
was a non-believer battling depression. Once I started to turn to God, that is
when I was set free from depression. In the book, I address depression from a Biblical perspective. For example, sin and
rebellion can bring on depression. Living separated from God and doing our own
thing can bring on depression. I was released from depression by turning to
Jesus and allowing God to be my life.
TPOS:
How does a church begin developing a ministry of awareness and discipleship for
those wrestling with depression?
We
offer basic training for the church. Our materials help train leaders to see
and address depression from a biblical perspective. We explore the causes of
depression from God’s Word and what God says will help cure that depression.
TPOS:
“…unless we’re familiar with depression, it can go undetected until
something drastic happens.” What should we watch for in our loved one?
Watch
for changes in their normal behavior. Is there a change in eating
habits—gaining or losing weight? Do they start sleeping more than normal? Do
they start turning to drugs and alcohol? Are they pulling away from friends or activities they once
enjoyed?
If
you are dealing with a teenager, it can be difficult to determine if they are
dealing with depression or if it is peer pressure, academic stress, lack of sleep, or a bad
diet. This can be difficult for even a trained counselor to discern. I have a
teen and depression sheet that
offers keys to building communication with your teen, warning signs, knowing when to get help,
and helping your teen to beat depression, I’d be happy to send out if you email me at [email protected]
TPOS:
How can lay people reach into the lives around them struggling with despair?
Listen.
Be supportive, don’t criticize or condemn what the person feels, even if what
they are saying doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes a depressed person just wants
to talk about what they are going through, and not feel like they are alone.
TPOS:
How can we pray for your ministry?
Pray
for Finally Free, that God would open doors and
allow us to continue to offer this message of hope. Pray for those reading it,
that their lives would be changed by hope and healing through Jesus.
TPOS:
Final thoughts?
You are not alone. There is hope. What I thought was devastation, God saw as an opportunity to draw me near and change the trajectory of my life. Depression is not the end; it can be the start of a beautiful beginning.
Finally Free
Patty Mason is an author, national speaker, and the founder of Liberty in Christ Ministries. For more than two decades, Patty has shared her story of God’s redeeming grace and deliverance from depression before numerous audiences, in several books, blogs, and magazines, such as Lifeway’s “Living More,†as well as radio and television programs, including American Family
