Posts Categorized: grief

Squeezing Life Out of Empty Vats

Posted July 11, 2023 | Karisa Moore

And Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me; what have you in the house?” And she said, “Your servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil.”

2 Kings 4:2, ESV

Turning My Page

“It just keeps coming.” I giggled as I squeezed another serving of toothpaste two weeks after the tube was flat and looked as if it was empty. “Keep it coming, Lord.”

I wonder if the widow giggled joyously as she kept filling jars of oil. Life dealt her some harsh blows. Her husband was dead, debts piled up, and creditors were coming to take her two sons to sell into slavery to cover her debts. No one was stepping in to hep.

The widow must have felt desperate. I’ve been in that place where my only choice was to cry out to God. Have you? As I read the scripture I am surprised, no one stepped in to help. Did she have no kinsman reedemer like Ruth? Care for the widows and orphans (fatherless children) was of the utmost importance in Mosaic Law. God himself is called Father to the fatherless.  Her question did not catch Elisha by surprise. His response was simple: How can I help and what do you already have? The widow must have asked others before reaching out to Elisha. Did no one else have pity on her and her sons?

There have been times in my life that God alone has helped me. I have no other human explanation for the provision. But I did have to ask, just as the widow did. What if she never sought Elisha out? I am humbled by her boldness and fortitude. She knew her worth and yet called herself a servant of Elisha. I’ve seen others approach God in the same way. The Centurian on behalf of his servant, the woman with the issue of blood, the possessed man among the graves. As soon as they saw Jesus, they cried out, and Jesus answered.

I want to approach God like the widow! To know that I am priceless and dust at the same time.

God multiplied what the widow had in supply, oil until every last cent she owed was paid off! I bet she and her sons were doing the Happy Dance.

Currently, I have friends in abundance, joys in writing, a roof over my head, and sustenance. If I need anything, I can ask. I am grateful for each of these, but sometimes God gifts reminders that my ultimate provision is him.

While toothpaste is not a dire situation like it was for the widow, it brought delight to me each morning and evening. One, it is God’s sense of humor on full display, and two, he is reminding me that when I think life is empty that he still has so much more for me. Keep filling my life with your goodness Lord!

 

Turning Your Page

God has infinite abundance for you. Remaining open to this truth when everything in your life is empty, disaster seems to threaten you at every turn, and God feels distant and quiet. can daunt the sturdiest believer in Christ. It has rattled Old Testament and New Testament followers of Yahweh throughout droughts of obedience. Have you cried out, “Consider your servant, Lord?” Consider, means, to take into account.

God has always been aware of your needs, are you aware of your need for him? Sometimes he allows all other avenues of help to dry up so that we know that he alone has the answers we seek. Like the widow:

  • Serve humbly
  • Cry out
  • Know that God will provide
  • Obey his directions

The widow didn’t hold some super religious card that receives a divine answer from God. All who believe in him can cry out and receive an answer, pressed down and running over (Luke 6).

 

Lord, you are my kinsman redeemer. Fill my vats to overflowing so that others may see our most desperate needs are filled by you. Amen

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Ugly Duckling Interupted: Acrostic

Posted May 28, 2020 | Karisa Moore
You Were Always a Swan

You Were Always a Swan

“Such an ugly duckling.” the others cackled, slapping the water in agreement.
(Your head ducked),
 Under the burden of shameful stares.
(You swam away),
 Inclined to believe what others say.
(You)
 Couldn’t see the swan swimming smooth as silk on the other side of the reeds.
(Searching)
 Inside yourself for true identity.
(Your answers)
Decidedly never came.
(You)
Ended the story before your clouded reflection cleared.

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Grief Sings

Posted September 24, 2016 | Karisa Moore

I sing when the horn

of victory is too faint with grief to hear. May belief

be the miracle in my melody, and others hear the harmony of heaven.

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Grief Clock

Posted July 8, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Matthew 4:Matthew 4:11
Then the devil left Him, and angels came and ministered to Him.
Luke 22…42“Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.” 43Then an angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him. 44And in His anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.…

I am finding, even when I’m not consciously aware of the dates, my soul is. The past two days my heartache has swelled and I didn’t register, just like last year, that the 7th seems to be my absolute hardest day of the year. You would think that the 1st would be it, but it is the day I buried Jonathan. Maybe it is because it the very last physical act or contact I have with his body on this earth. In any case I have dragged myself through the past two days.

I know the depth of this heart ache will end soon. There are simply days when we hurt to our core, whether in depression or grief. Days when the intensity of what we feel is almost more than our physical bodies can handle. Jesus came to a place where the burden he bore was so great that angels ministered to him, just so he wouldn’t die early. It is telling that the two times Jesus was ministered to are two times the enemy came to sift him; Satan attached when Jesus was at his weakest.

So Lord, as I cry out to you today. “This is more than I can bear!” I look for your comfort and provision to minister to me. May your will in my life be a testimony to the strength you offer to all of your adopted children.

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Fireworks in my Grief

Posted July 5, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Today is my wedding anniversary. Losing Jonathan on the 1st could have overshadowed our anniversary if we had not been intentional about turning our pages from the beginning. Each year brings new delights for our anniversary because we took those first painful steps to celebrate our marriage. We both felt numb, but we made it to the baseball game we had planned to see for our anniversary. Last year we returned to West Virginia to visit family and friends. We celebrated our anniversary with homemade peach cobbler, the delivery and reading of the Declaration of Independence and exploring our friend’s farm and museums. This year we celebrated with friends and family around food and fireworks. Next weekend we head to D.C. for a rally on The Mall.

There will always be difficult days in grief, things are not as they should be, but there is still a lot of life to live. I choose to watch with awe, the spectacular fireworks of God’s love and maybe even squeal with delight as he surprises me in my grief.

 

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How Can I Keep From Singing (Reworked)

Posted July 1, 2016 | Karisa Moore

My brother reworked the hymn “How Can I Keep From Singing” to honor and remember his nephew Jonathan. It mostly draws from Unitarian and Christian versions, with a couple of lines written by my brother.

My life flows on in endless song Above earth’s lamentation.

I hear the real, though far off hymn That hails a new creation.

Above the tumult and the strife, I hear the music ringing; . . .

 

What though the tempest loudly roars, I hear the truth, it liveth.

What though the darkness round me close, Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm While to that rock I’m clinging.

Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth, How can I keep from singing?

 

With each new day my story grows, the pages ever turning.

And through it all I always hold This flame of hope still burning.

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, A fountain ever springing;

All things are mine since I am his–How can I keep from singing?

How Can I Keep From Singing Enya

 

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Grief Tug-of-War

Posted June 14, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Grief is two lovers yanking you in opposite directions.

The Past, pulls out his photo albums showing off his plump family of memories. Inviting you to warm yourself by the faded fires of yesterday; still snapping and popping in your mind, until you realize that you are freezing to death . . . And the Future sucks you into a black hole of regret, threatening to crush you over and over with what will never happen.

Get to know the Present, he is your daily companion. He walks beside you and sustains you; pulling the curtains closed on yesterday and introducing you to new brilliant mornings. He holds you tight as you sob, and reveals the unknown in quantities you can handle. He will always be here with you, while the Past never stays, and the Future may never come.

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The Importance of Laughter in Grief

Posted May 19, 2016 | Karisa Moore

It is so vital to our wellbeing to laugh! I believe that God in heaven laughs. He named Isaac (laughter) because Sarah thought it was impossible for her to be pregnant. I believe that he takes joy in us, and laughs deeply. Can you imagine standing close to the throne of heaven and hear God laugh.

In this season of grief I need laughter, to water my soul with joy. Sewing seeds of joy in a desert. If you have a funny story to share, or a humorous author that you like, feel free to share in the comments. Jonathan loved to make me laugh. In fact, if something got me really tickled, it was his goal to get me to laugh like a hyena.

Brian: Natalie, what do you think about 3 more days of school?
Natalie: Just 3 more days and I can go back to being nocturnal!

 

 

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Valley of the Shadow of Death

Posted May 17, 2016 | Karisa Moore

(A post from the first days after putting Jonathan in the ground.)

Day 5

Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

A spur of the moment trip yesterday afternoon to Coco Key Resort, produced a valuable image for Daniel and I to hold onto as we walk through the darkness of Jonathan’s death. Daniel is tall enough to ride the four big slides, and this summer his confidence in the water has skyrocketed. He and I tackled the first one on a two-seater inner tube. After that he was ready to tackle it alone and then moved onto the body slides.

But, he declared from the beginning, that he would not go on the two slides that did not let light in. I have to admit, I had no intention of going on those either. Later, I’m not even sure what prompted me to go on the dark body slide alone, but I did. Maybe I chose the tube because I am already walking through the darkest place imaginable. The slide was as dark as the inside of a cave cavern. I could not see the twists and turns and I didn’t know how long the ride would be, but I knew the light was at the end.

Just before leaving, Daniel grabbed the two-seater and declared that he wanted to ride the dark slide. As soon as we started down I could sense his fear. I declared that I was still beside him, and that the light would greet us at the end. When we exited the pool I told him that this how I feel with God right now. I don’t see him, but I hear his voice, and I’m trying to stand on the truth of his character. In the car the kids asked to listen to their Music Camp CD. One of the songs was “You Never Let Go”. As Daniel listened he exclaimed, “That is like the dark slide! I couldn’t see you, but I knew you were there. I know God is there, and that he won’t let go of me.”

Yes Daniel, and yes reader, God will never let go of you! Through whatever storm or dark place in this life you are going through. Our part is to know that he is here. For me, the only way to obtain that knowledge has been to read about his character in scripture, to pray, and to practice walking in faith. I can’t see where this devastating dark twist will lead, but I won’t turn back, because I know you are here.

Goals:
1. Let others help me today.
2. Work on my song.
3. Find a new copy of Barbra Johnson’s book. (Meet me at half-priced books anyone?)

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