mental health Archives - Page 29 of 30 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Categorized: mental health

Painting with Boldness: Sharing our Story without Fear

Posted January 29, 2015 | Karisa Moore

“Your painting in pastels.Â Don’t be afraid to use some darker colors and even dabble in some reds. The bricks around old windows had so much character.” The art teacher encouraged me. We are such unique and vivid creations! Do we leave our bold mark on the world? My son’s suicide hasÂ caused me to paint life with a bit more risky colors.

God came to earth in the form of a tiny baby, born in a manger, announced by angels, and celebrated by shepherds and wise men.Â Jesus died on the cross for all of us, and on the third day rose again. Talk aboutÂ painting with boldÂ color! God reveals his love for us openly. He does not try to hide it.

The disciples went from hiding to boldly declaring what they had seen and heard. We have this impression that the apostle Paul was naturally a bold person, but there are several indications otherwise. Acts 18:9-11 And the Lord said to Paul one night in a vision, â€œDo not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, 10for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you, for I have many in this city who are my people.â€ 11And he stayed a year and six months, teaching the word of God among them. When Paul met Jesus he was murdering Christians. He had a lot of reasons to hide his new found faith–people hated him! Paul was encouraged along the way towards boldness by God and his fellow believers.

I ask that you pray for me to proclaim Christ boldly! Fear hinders many of us from sharing our lives with others, we tend to speakÂ in pastels. I pray for you to paint the gospel boldly, as well.

Rencoling my spirit: Allowing God’s truth to bring healing

Posted January 23, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Turn the Page:

Do you ever feel like you are two people? One holds it together and keeps moving forward, and the other is caught in a vortex of pain, suffering, emotion and loss. Both are very real parts of ourselves.

I realized last night that the gap between the two was widening and took a step towards reconciling the two parts of my spirit. When I suffered from depression as a teen, I resented that tenacious part of me that refused to throw in the towel, no matter what I w…ent through. Now, I am grateful that I have allowed God to cultivate that part of me.

But sometimes I move forward and ignore the very real and deep pain that Jonathan’s death has caused. I realize that I am losing sight of grace. Grace recognizes that we are but dust and provides a way when I cannot find it!

The two parts of me must eventually work in harmony and right now they are very much working against each other. I think that David struggled with this very same feeling.

Psalm 43:4 Then I will go to the altar of God, To God my exceeding joy; And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God. 5Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Even as David is struggling he offers the key to the crucial transition in his spirit, verse 3 Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!

While the tenacious part of me keeps leaning into the knowledge of God’s love, I do not yet feel it. I must allow my mind, body, and spirit to be encouraged by my hope in God. Lord I thank you that you send your light and your truth ahead of me. Illuminate in me the grace, and strength of your love. Amen

Perseverance: The “Hooah!” of Christian Discipleship

Posted January 5, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Romans 5:Â 3Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not put us to shame, because Godâ€™s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

My sciatic nerve is damaged. I have had pain every single day for the past eight years and it would be weird if one day the pain was suddenly gone. I have learned to adjust how I sit, stand and move to keep the pain at a tolerable level.Â Â My grandfather, on theÂ other hand,Â burnt his foot because his nerve receptors were destroyed and he didn’t know he had stepped on hot coals. Which would you rather?

Losing Jonathan hurts worse then any other pain I have experienced. I could try to avoid it, many do, or IÂ can allow it to teach me perseverance. Some translations use the word endurance, but I see perseverance as the “Hooah!” ofÂ Christian discipleship. Perseverance comes from the gut of our spirit, and is anÂ outward acknowledgment that I hear, understand, and obey the will of the Lord. When I persevere I am allowing God to draw out my character, which makes the impossible possible (hope) and displays Godâ€™s glory. At my core is the knowledge that God will not fail me.

Many of us endure trials, but not many allow those sufferings to complete the work in us so that we are not lacking anything (James 1).Â Â That is what my suffering has the potential to do. Jonathan death motivates me to speak boldly on the behalf of others, to be aware of depression and suicide in a way that I never have before, and to seek the face of God every day. I know the pain will not always be this severe. But until that moment comes the pain is necessary and teaches me the discipline of perseverance. Hooah!!

What Do I have to offer?: Getting over fears of sharing hope

Posted January 3, 2015 | Karisa Moore

1 Peter 3:15. . . but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, . . .

A trip to a museum sharing the journey of early settlers out West would be told today if it weren’t for the passing on of their story through journals and families. They gave witness to their spirit of hope that kept them moving in the midst of great loss. Many lost family and friends to the difficulty of the journey and I can identify withÂ their sufferings on a deeper level since my son’s suicide. I am able to keep moving, to keep sharingÂ my journey because others share their faith with me who have gone through the loss of a child. They witness to me.

When I got involved in Navigators (a collegiate ministry), I was a baby Christian. I was hungry to know this God who had so clearly pursued me. The Navigators have a simple wheel illustration that depicts my Christian walk. Christ the hub or center, the supporting spokes are scripture and prayer(vertical), fellowship and witnessing (horizontal). I kept growing in each of the areas in the years I was involved, but witnessing was the hardest for me.

I have strong beliefs in right and wrong, but don’t like offending anyone. I tend speak my mind, but then second guess myself. The abuse I experienced throughout my growing up tends to make me awkward around people. I have come a long way in my healing process, but witnessing is one area that my insecurities come out big time. The written word comes more naturally for me.

Yet I am compelled (commanded) to share my faith. Paul was consistently accused of being bold in his letters and timid in person. He didn’t let that stop him from doing either. Since my son’s death I have begun to understand that it was never about me being perfect in my delivery, it is about delivering the message of the gospel! The same gospel that saved my life and that my hope will save many more lives.

A Snowflake of Refreshment: The Gift of Frienship

Posted December 10, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Proverbs 25:13 Like a snow-cooled drink at harvest time is a trustworthy messenger to the one who sends him; he refreshes the spirit of his master.

I dreamed about my son Jonathan last night and awoke in deep heartache; the world of the present was difficult to embrace. I walked outside to take the kids to school and saw this snowflake hung from our Jonathan tree.

At just the right moment, when my soul needed refreshmentÂ friends brought it to me. WE NEED FRIENDS! I spent the majority of my young life pushing people away and isolated. When Jesus showed me my need for him, my need for friends soon followed. Jesus was not a lone wolf, he started his ministry by calling disciples. He called them friends! The God of the universe called broken man friend. Amazing. So don’t wait until you have it all together (never happening) or mankind has it together (also never happening). I let my friends down, they let me down, but the cool thing is that I now see it as opportunity for grace, growth, and maturing together in faith.

Ecclesiastes 4:9Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. 11Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?â€¦

Hope is a Purple Tulip

Posted November 19, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Hope is a purple tulip brush stroked into a pallet of dreary grey;
Drawing our focus to the possibilities.
Hope grows in the cracks of my doubts,…
Surprising my life with defiant perseverance.
Hope is the cup of water held out to a runner,
when the finish line is painfully out of sight.
Hope is the cheer of friends
Reminding me that I am not alone.
Hope dusts off the truth of our purpose,
And reveals the treasures beneath our grief.

Depression is a Terrible Interior Decorater: Inviting in Hope to change my thinking

Posted November 18, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Sometimes we wake up already overwhelmed by life. In Daniel’s mind there is still snow on the ground ergo no school. The roads are well cleared. He refused to accept that he had to go to school. Truth didn’t matter, presenting the school closings to his eyes did not dissuade his mind.

We can behave the same with depression. Depression should never be hired as an interior decorator! It will always paint the walls black and put up pictures that reflect itself, n…ot the truth about our identity. For the longest time I let depression have free reign in my spirit. It was no wonder I found myself in a windowless cell where all I could see were the things that reinforced what I already believed about myself. There was no hope.

No matter how many outside forces may be pushing in on us, we always have a choice. It starts with inviting hope in. I am currently decorating with hope! I used to invite depression in like it would comfort me. But since I have experienced the source of all hope, depression can come knocking, as it often does when tragedy strikes, but I am different.

My soul’s walls are painted with:

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Psalm 43 (all)

I now have the strength to take every thought captive and make it obedience to Christ.

It started with inviting hope in. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

This verse was the first light in my darkened cell and it showed me that I don’t want to live like this any more!

Anger is a Natural Emotion, Wrath is Not

Posted November 15, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Romans 12:18-19 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.

My last session of Biblical Counseling Training started last night. I was trucking along just fine listening to the speakers until the topic of anger began to be discussed. Anger and I go way back and God has done so much healing in this area.

Make room for the wrath of God, “don’t play God”. I was caught off guard by how much the statement about God’s wrath got into the crevices and pulled out anger that I didn’t consciously acknowledge. I sat there with tears pouring down my cheeks. Many of you are well aware that there are those who are responsible for Jonathan’s death. You struggle along side me to forgive, to not wish them ill, and to pray for them.

At moments I have felt the deep freedom of forgiveness and been moved with compassion for my enemy’s brokenness. But to be honest, I stew, I dwell, and plot, trying to do God’s job for him. I want revenge! That is what came to the surface last night. I’ve shared before that I came to the point 10 years ago that I admitted that I did not believe that God was just. This is one more step in the process of accepting that he is God, and I am not. My job is to love the Lord God with all my heart and to love my neighbor as myself. This means providing for, extending grace, and praying for those that God puts in my path. This is the best way to display his glory and accept his goodness to me. Thank you Lord for not treating me like my sins deserve.

The Shortest Route through Grief

Posted November 13, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Turn the Page:

Proverbs 3:5-7Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge him,…
and he will make straight your paths.
7Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.

Simple is a loaded word. It carries the weight of my desires, failures, and pleasures. I have complained a lot, through the years, when things break down, or seem to take too long. “Why can’t things be more simple?” Obviously, grief is no exception to the rule. We must go through it if we want to live life to the fullest. If there were a short cut through suffering and loss, I’d take it.

But scripture states clearly that there is! The shortest route between two points is obedience to God. For all of my complaining I am my own worst enemy when it comes to simplifying life. What makes my life more complicated is sin. I don’t want to go through suffering, so I have tried to avoid it, medicate it with alcohol, bad relationships, and running away or fighting my way through. None of which have ever worked. God has offered all of us a shortcut through Christ.

Since the moment the officer arrived on my doorstep with the nightmare of Jonathan’s death I have had a choice. Do I go through grief my way, or God’s way? He told us we would suffer and grieve in this life, but he also promised us that we would be comforted. The short cut is to love the Lord my God with all of my soul, heart, and mind. To lean not on my own understanding, but to acknowledge him in all my ways. God will make my paths straight!

By no means have I fully accomplished this, but it is my goal. When I accomplish the above command, I will go through this grief the shortest route possible and be comforted along the way to boot. Grief will be but a speck! It is when I disobey God and go my own way that things get more complex. Just ask the Israelites who spent forty years wandering through the wilderness when they had had God himself leading the way! If I want a shortcut through grief then I’ll keep my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith.

New Mercies: A room of possibilities

Posted November 12, 2014 | Karisa Moore

Turn the Page:

Lamentations 3:21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

…

22The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24â€œThe Lord is my portion,â€ says my soul,
â€œtherefore I will hope in him.â€

Jeremiah the prophet knew how to mourn. He wrote a whole book on grief. Josiah, the one good king who tried to restore Israel to its faith, is dead. Not a single king after him follows God and Israel is plunged into political and religious decay. Jerusalem has Babylon knocking at its door and the surrounding verses reflect Jeremiah’s own personal grief. In verse 1 he states: I am the man who has seen affliction under the rod of his wrath. . .Like many of us he puts the bad in his life back on his creator. And certainly God allows bad things to happen in our lives. Babylon got in because Israel had long since turned their back on God.

Jeremiah was a reluctant prophet, shy and timid, and yet God used him to do mighty things. He certainly is living in difficult circumstances, but he reminds himself that God is not limited by our circumstances. He will give us a new day!

I mourned as I removed the pictures and things that made this originally Jonathan’s room (before we needed a pink room). I acknowledge the reality of my circumstances. This morning we start with a blank slate and the joy of blessing Daniel reminded me of all the spectacular new days that God gives before me. His mercies never come to an end!

So, as I grieve, as I paint, as I celebrate Daniel today, I remember that God is my portion and therefore I hope in Him!

Grief and Hope

Posts Categorized: mental health

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