Posts Categorized: faith

“To Lie Passive in His Hands.”

“For so he giveth his beloved sleep.” — Psalm 127:2

In my last post I spoke of not striving, but abiding in Christ for what I lack. I may sit here a while, as the Lord seems to have something for me here. Today I stumbled upon a sermon by Charles Haddon Spurgeon entitled, The Peculiar Sleep of the Beloved.

God why haven’t you removed this thorn from my flesh so that I am energized to glorify You? I try to understand why I struggle to sleep, or feel rested. Many of you understand insomnia at the deepest level. Diet changes help some, keeping a sleep routine is positive, but nothing I do results in the deep level of rest my mind and body are desperate for. I strive to sleep. Both Spurgeon and the Psalmist remind us God gives sleep to his beloved, no striving necessary.

Jesus did not get much sleep throughout his ministry, but was able to sleep in a boat during a storm while his disciples panicked.  Or how Peter could sleep, chained between two guards, or many men and women of faith, who faced certain death could rest before their execution.

There are so many aspects I love in Spurgeon’s sermon, but of course poetry speaks to me the most. He quotes Madam Guyon (A French Mystic, and amazing Christian influence of her time).

To me tis equal, whether love ordained,

My life or death, appoint me pain or ease;

My soul perceives no real ill in pain,

In ease or health, no real good she sees.

One good she covets, and that good alone,

To choose thy will, from selfish bias free,

And to prefer a cottage to a throne,

And grief to comfort, if it pleases thee.

That we should bear the cross is thy command —

Die to the world, and live to sin no more;

Suffer unmoved beneath the rudest hand,

As pleased when shipwrecked, as when safe on shore.

Are you shipwrecked like me? Do you look at the ship, tossed and smashed again and again as equal to the life on calm seas? I am honestly not pleased with my circumstances, I don’t fully trust God yet in all things. I am asking God to help me with my unbelief and he is answering! Rest dearly beloved, as a free gift. He will not let us falter in his love!

Grow to do one thing, and do it well. Abide (live in) His love for you. Amen!

What I Lack

James 1:…4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 5But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.…

The world is filled with people who have spent much of their life trying and I am one of them. I try a little harder to be happier. I try to please others. I try to teach my children right from wrong. Even when I’m not trying, I’m trying to not try. Exhausted yet? I am.

Trying is irrevocably tied to results. Results, I am becoming convinced, already met on the cross through Jesus Christ. Even my faith, comes from the molding and shaping of my heavenly father. There is such freedom and relief in knowing that the transformation of the world is dependent upon God’s authorship, not mine. What is required of me is that I ask God for what I lack, have faith without doubting (not for God’s sake, but my own), being tossed at sea is no fun.

Lord, I praise you that nothing is too small for me to ask of you. You do not hold what I lack against me. So I ask you boldly for the discipline to glorify you as an author. Fill me with the ink of your passion and compassion for the world.

Be my muse and amusement in the written word. John says, “1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning. 3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcomea it.” May my words become a lamp stand in the darkness. Amen and Amen!

Christmas 2015

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Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

The Jonathan Tree                         Daniel(8) and Natalie (6)

 

Cookies for Santa, My little shining lights, stain glass window in our church

When Digging a Trench, Assemble Your Team

Ecclesiastes 4:7Again, I saw vanity under the sun: 8one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.

9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Shoveling snow would not have surprised me on December 23rd. Digging a trench to save our basement from flooding, however, was not on my Christmas list. We were in the path of the storm today thanks to El Nino. While we didn’t get the gloom and doom that weathercasters had been threatening us with all day, we did get heavy rains.

We had planned to go see the Peanuts movie tonight, but Daniel wasn’t feeling up to going so we set up shop in the basement. As the rain came down harder I began to be concerned about our window, a weak point in our backyard swamp. When we looked out the water was about three inches up the window.

We went into problem solving mode. Shovels, siphon, buckets, and building a damn. Think we have done this before? The kids begged for a job so we let them pick up the clods of dirt and carry it over to the weak point. Within a half an hour the window well was cleared, our trench pulled water away from the window, and four very wet and muddy humans trudged inside to get cleaned up.

It was amazing! I love my family and it is wonderful what we accomplish when we work together. Do you have your ditch digging team assembled? God did not create us to go it alone. Reach out to those around you. If you don’t have friends or family, begin the steps to develop friendships. You will make mistakes, pick yourself up and try again. My life changed drastically when I stopped being dominated by my fear of rejection. As I began to fall in love with Jesus, loving others became easier. Scripture is filled to the brim with fellowship. And if you see others who are isolated, reach into their world and be present with them. You don’t know what trenches they might be having to dig.

Blessings upon you this Christmas!

Your friend,

Karisa

A Prayer of Surrender

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

 

Lord, help me to see you as more substantive then my sorrow, my depression. I see the evidence things not seen. I know you are here with me, but it is not enough to fuel my hope.

Father I know that you are good. Like Job I will be able to say that you giveth and take away, but still I will choose to say, blessed is the name of the Lord! But, also like Job I want curse the day I was born.

Master, I was not there when you lay the foundations of the earth! I cannot pretend to know the deep and mighty works of your hand. I cannot count the stars. I do not know how the caterpillar transforms to a butterfly.

I do not understand why you have taken so much from me. I do not pretend to know your purpose in so much grief. I cannot brace myself like a man and face you down like I am on level with you.

Father, I know that you hear my desperate cry! My body is so weary of this life. Daddy, please reveal to me your plan of salvation. Strengthen these bones that you have broken that I might be a witness of your glory! May the world see that you truly bless the believer 10 fold whatever you require from us.

Yes, you break us down, but you build us up on a new foundation–it will not shift like sand! The strength of our new structure of faith is stronger and more beautiful then anything we can build with our own hands. Father I want to be a mighty oak of righteousness, on display for your splendor. May your mighty works be fully met in me, that the world may know that you are a good, mighty, and a just God! Amen.

Sublime Perfective

I feel so small!

Immature Plans:Trusting the plan of Salvation

John 2:4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come.”

Matthew 8:And behold, they cried out saying, “What to us and to you Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time?”

John 1223 And Jesus answered them, saying, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.…

Our plans to save ourselves are always immature. We look for Jesus to turn water into wine, so we can save the party, but God pours out his own blood to save the world. We look for Jesus to overthrow and punish our enemies. Jesus looks at breaking the chains of sin and offering salvation to those who murder us!

God hears our cries, but he will not answer until the appointed time. This can be confusing, and infuriating! We believe in God, but we don’t believe in his plan or his perfect timing. We look for idols and quick fixes to fill in the gap of our waiting. Matthew Henry’s commentary explains it this way, “Delays of mercy are not denials of prayer. Those that expect Christ’s favors, must observe his orders with ready obedience.”

Can I obey God when he let my son die? Can I keep turning the page of his plan, according to his will and not mine? I see the spectacular results of Jesus’ obedience! Oh Lord, I cry out to you. Open my mind to the possibilities of your perfect plan. Make my path straight. Thank you that you didn’t stop with water to wine! May my narrow plan open wide to the joy of your salvation. Amen

Betrayed by the body

Lamentations:320Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.…

Matthew 26:38Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”

 

Sometimes our body betrays our attempts at escaping depression. Chronic pain, chronic insomnia, chronic stress all break down our body. In other words, our body comes into agreement with depression. So when we begin to change our thinking and our actions the body doesn’t always respond, sometimes because of physical illness it will never be able to respond and at times it out and out rebels.

I often joke that I’m so used to chaos that panic ensues when I experience something normal. Anyone who has ever had an addiction can attest to the war between the body and new habits. Caffeine withdraw can cause headaches, because our body becomes used to caffeine and craves it. Our body can crave depression.

Don’t lose heart when the body doesn’t respond to hope or new habits of acting in faith. Keep forming new ways of thinking, interact with humanity because it IS the right thing to do, not because it feels right. Do what is good, even if the body betrays you.

You Drew Me In

Giggles and crayons melted

the distance between our sorrow.

Sketched out souls, framed together

in a mosaic moment of

play.

I miss him echoed

in our quiet parallel

expressions of color.

Each grieving, uniquely

united by the unquiet outline

of our circumstances.

We are . . .

Herald DisbatchPsalm 13:3Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, 4And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken. 5But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.…

Sometimes it is not about winning, it is about building his team, showing up for the game and giving all to our heavenly coach, witnessing to the next generation in the stands and giving them the chance for victory.

I just finished watching We Are Marshall, a movie about Marshall University in Huntington, WV and the tragic plane crash that shattered many lives on November 14, 1970. Seventy-five people lost their lives on that flight. The decision to re-build the football team was not one reached easily.

The new head coach Jack Lengyel, played by Matthew Mconaughey. was an outsider who was moved with compassion for the grieving family, school and city. However, he also knew they needed hope.

McConaughey uses the phrase, “The funerals end today,” but Lengyel said he had to make that known not only to the players but to the schools the team played. Each time the team traveled, the school would have a memorial for Marshall, but Lengyel said the team couldn’t continue and grow under those conditions. (Herald Dispatch)

To grow we have to realize that God still has plans for us. My husband, kids, and you daily remind me that the funeral ends today. Daniel saw the movie in our DVD collection and asked if he could watch it. I hesitated, knowing the intensity of the movie. He asked questions all week about the football team, about the school. He was clearly thinking deeply about the loss. “How many people are on a football team?” . . . “What are boosters?” “How do you start over?” “They must have felt like we do about losing Jonathan.”

We are knocked to the ground, barely able to breath, and the enemy is in our face telling us to stay down.

You are . . . nothing

You are . . . a failure

You are . . . a loser

Sometimes we need an outsider to see our pain, come onto the field of battle and draw up a new play book. God did this by sending his own son. He tell us:

you are . . . beautiful

you are . . . resilient

You are . . . loving

You are. . . worth the struggle

You are . . . a part of my plan

Since Jonathan’s death there are more personal losses and world tragedies the weigh heavy on my heart. Like David I remind myself of who I know God is:

You are . . . good to me

You are . . .Savior

You are . . . Mighty

You are . . . Personal

You are . . . All Knowing

You are. . . Trustworthy

“In this world you will have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

We chant with our lives we are . . . And allow the next generation to answer. They know who they are and whose they are because we didn’t give up!

Suicide & Prevention Hotline

National Suicide Hotline

If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call the National Suicide Lifeline at 988 or go to the website at https://988lifeline.org/