depression Archives - Page 8 of 11 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Categorized: depression

Betrayed by the body

Posted December 9, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Lamentations:320Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.â€¦

Matthew 26:38Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”

Sometimes our body betrays our attempts at escaping depression. Chronic pain, chronic insomnia, chronic stress all break down our body. In other words, our body comes into agreement with depression. So when we begin to change our thinking and our actions the body doesn’t always respond, sometimes because of physical illness it will never be able to respond and at times it out and out rebels.

I often joke that I’m so used to chaos that panic ensues when I experience something normal. Anyone who has ever had an addiction can attest to the war between the body and new habits. Caffeine withdraw can cause headaches, because our body becomes used to caffeine and craves it. Our body can crave depression.

Don’t lose heart when the body doesn’t respond to hope or new habits of acting in faith. Keep forming new ways of thinking, interact with humanity because it IS the right thing to do, not because it feels right. Do what is good, even if the body betrays you.

You Drew Me In

Posted December 8, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Giggles and crayons melted

the distance between our sorrow.

Sketched out souls, framed together

in a mosaic moment of

play.

I miss him echoed

in our quiet parallel

expressions of color.

Each grieving, uniquely

united by the unquiet outline

ofÂ our circumstances.

Dear New Page Turners,

Posted December 4, 2015 | Karisa Moore

I cannot turn the page on suicide alone. None of us can. I value your experiences, your challenges, the depth of your own sorrows and your resilience! Please do not hesitate to contact me with your concerns, suggestions and experiences of hope in the midst of grief or depression.

Thank you for reading and turning the page on suicide with me!

Sincerely,

Karisa

Attention: Talent Needed to Save the World

The Frangrence of Triumph

Posted November 23, 2015 | Karisa Moore

2 Corinthians 2:14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 15For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;â€¦

As I grieve I want to wear the perfume of triumph! It comes from knowing who God is, trusting what he is doing and believing he will reveal his truth through us. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains that those who won battles were doused in sweet fragrances. My fragrance should be Christ because he is the source of my victories. I have had many! To claim victory we have to remember His faithfulness.

He chose me
Plucked me out from despair
Equipped me with scripture to fight the devil’s schemes
Made me a prayer warrior
Caused me to delight in others
Gave me a desire to share his love
Crushed the enemy’s attempts to destroy me through abuse and fear!!!
Defeated the grave long before I had to place my son in it

Too often I wear theÂ scentÂ of death.Â My circumstances are complicated and constant, but God is faithful to give abundant life. I seeÂ his handÂ so clearly, yet I turn my eyes to what isn’t and begin to act like God is not enough for me.

Today I allow you, Father, toÂ wash away my sorrow.Â Lord,Â infuse me with the scent of understanding your ways. Discipline my brokenness. May my life become a beautiful fragrance of glory in the midst of a world filled with the dank scent of despair.

Warm Yourself in My Eyes

Posted November 16, 2015 | Karisa Moore

May I sit awhile and warm my soul in your eyes? Eyes

crackling and popping with stories stirred by

my need for hope. Hope boasting

of losses gained and tragic victories;

Of dreams, love and faith.

Faith refusing to be dampened by despair, quiet

constant discipline battling the reality of death.

Death is in your eyes. Eyes raised from

grave circumstances. Circumstances

are snuffing out my flame! Flame nowÂ fanned

by the passionate compassion of your hope. Hope

fueling my soul with logs of endurance, sparking

life in my dimmed eyes. Eyes that others ask to sit awhile

and warm their cold souls with the fire of my hope.

Out of the Darkness Walk: Who Will Walk With Me?

Posted October 18, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Today is the day of my second Out of the Darkness Walk. My team is assembled andÂ so far we have raised over $500 dollars.Â Walking toÂ Turn the Page on Suicide is filled withÂ hope! It may be one by one that we bring others out of the darkness, depression and suicide strugglesÂ are unique to each person, but this illness forces us to see others as individuals. There is no formula that will fix the epidemic. Three things I know are absolutes–LOVE, FAITH, and HOPE. Without these three core values I will falter and fail.

I was reminded this week that sometimes my need for immediate results makes me so short sighted. God’s perspective is above time and I can’t see two inches away from my face. Galatians 6:9-10:

9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Love, faith and hope are in this race for the long haul! Not a short sprint. Jesus came so that we may have life, abundant life and for some of us it takes time for us to accept abundant life. He was willing to go into places that “clean” people just wouldn’t go. Are you and I willing to do the same? Remember, as we offer all that we have to one lost sheep, we know that we do not walk alone.

It took me 20 years to accept abundant life. Many men and women planted seeds along the way. Some of them do not know how valuable there moments with me were, but I do! The Holy Spirit went ahead of these Christians to plow the hardened field of my heart so that one day a little plant emerged, then another, and then another. As I walk today planting seeds in the dark ground of depression and suicide, I hope, I love, and I have faith . . .

Being a Lamp in the Darkness

Posted October 4, 2015 | Karisa Moore

After reading a fellow poet’s haunting work I prepared a response to the darkness that lights her world, and once lit my own.

I have lived in darkness,

wrapped up in the blanket of its truth, smothered

hope and shut out liars

who offer to light my way with burnt

out candles of philosophy. I thought that I had insulated

myself from darkness by embracing its truth. Nothing begets nothing–

we’re all dead anyway.

Until

fear mastered my taste buds, and my

craving was bitterness.

I begged death to

swallow me whole and it did.

Soul crushing pain that I could

never quiteÂ medicate out of existence.

Death was my hope.

But there wasÂ a persistent, peskyÂ light

that didn’t care if I trusted. The warmth of its glow stayed constant

when others faded away.Â Like an inn at the end of a long

journey, it offered rest from

my aching confusion.

The lantern brought me from the woods

of my tangled shadows.

Secure in its source,

in its never changing nature

a humbleÂ truth never experienced in my boasting

darkness of doubt. It didn’t demand I believe, nor

did it exact the price of darkness.Â It paid in full every

debt I owed. This lightÂ didn’t scramble as I did,

to snuff out pain.Â It bore it. . . .willingly.

ItÂ hung inÂ the darkness for me.

I have never experienced such light.

A state of being, rather than doing, a love

that pursues

Rather than playing hide-and-seek.

My soul caught fire as I warmed by the fire

of its glory,

I am aÂ light to youÂ in theÂ darkness

Inviting warmth and freedom to the darkest souls.

The Discipline of Depression: Finding What Works in the Midst of What isn’t Working

Posted September 30, 2015 | Karisa Moore

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

What do you do, no matter what? Especially if you suffer from depression, I’d really like to compile a list of helpful habits as a resource to others. Since Jonathan’s death the two places that I am most under attack are in the car, and in the late evenings. I have limited the amount of driving I do. My mind is a landmine of destructive thoughts when I am exhausted, so opening myself up to even the news in the evening seems to fuel depression as I try to sleep.

Categories:

Daily habits that lift your spirits

Example: Singing hymns

Making my bed (seems small, but completing this task daily leads to bigger completions)

Scriptures you bring to mind

The habit of avoidance:

Not staying up late alone

Avoiding TV after 9

Peace in Midst of Sorrow

Repeating Blues

Posted September 26, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Awkward memoriesÂ belt out

haunting blues,

Their melody seeps into bones

like a chilled rain–

Shivering the soul to its core, like aÂ scratched record.

Doomed to repeat

Depression needles

its way into the grooves of gray

and repeats its mantra

’tilÂ your being aches to

smash the record, the player

and anything else

that reminds of this unforgiven sorrow.

Leaping, Shouting, and Singing

Posted September 3, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Proverbs 15:13 13Â A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.

The irony was not lost on my friend and I. The day we chose to do this photo op, my usually cheerful baby was having none of it. She was mad and crying the whole time. Sometimes our heart is sad, because it is broken by deep loss. Many times, even when I am laughing my eyes give me away. I got free crazy bread just the other day because the cashier thought I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. I want my words, my life, and my example to flow from a heart filled with unexplainable joy. I am just plain not there yet, so how doÂ I transition from a sad to a joyful heart? Important Note: Scripture doesn’t say HAPPY, it says JOYFUL. I am not happy that my son is dead. I’m not happy that there is so much pain, sorrow, sicknessÂ and fear dominating us. I’m not happy that friends I hold dear are faced with divorce. I’m not happy about many things.

Happiness is very fleeting, but joy raises weighted shoulders,Â so that I canÂ lift my arms to the heavens to give thanks no matter what crashes around me. This isn’tÂ a blind action, you go intoÂ joy eyes wide open, joy must be intentional. Some of the most oppressed people are also the most joyful. Their hearts are wide open the possibilities in their suffering. They discipline themselves in reading scripture, fellowshipping together, prayer, and witnessing (attesting to what the have seen and heard). Â Oh Lord, may I become so saturate in the joy of your presence that leaping, shouting, and singing become second nature. Amen.

Posts Categorized: depression

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