depression Archives - Page 7 of 11 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Categorized: depression

Would You Walk Through The Door?

Posted February 11, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Philippians1:29For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, 30experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me.

You stand in a room filled with doors. Each one opens to a path you could take, but only one leads to the salvation of many people. If you walk through that door you will experience depression, betrayal, abuse,Â overwhelming loss, constant stress, persecution and die an early death. Would you walk through the door?

Let me know your thoughts.

Delivered from the Dead Life

Posted February 5, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Romans 8:Â 9You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.10But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus^d from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. (ESV)

9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, wonâ€™t know what weâ€™re talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwellsâ€”even though you still experience all the limitations of sinâ€”you yourself experience life on Godâ€™s terms. It stands to reason, doesnâ€™t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, heâ€™ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christâ€™s! (The Message)

Clearly, I sit close to death. My tent pegs are set in the valley of the shadow of death. My campfire struggles against the icyÂ blasts of the grave . . . but it does not go out! For the past few days I have been looking at my surroundings and asking, “Why have you placed me here Lord?” I question, not out of complaint, but out of a genuine desire to understand God’s purpose. I want to fully participate in his plan of salvation.

God is delivering me from the dead life by causing me to die completely to self. I know, weird right. But, think about this, when a surgeon is doing a heart surgery they most often stop your heart in order to repair or replace what isn’t working. God operates on our bodies in much the same way.

In this valley of the shadow of death, God is removing all fear. I have some hardcore fleshly reflexes that hinder my spirit from living life to the fullest. God is using my near death experiences to open my eyes to the power that heaven has here on earth, right now.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven . . . (Lord’s prayer)

I’ve said that phrase almost 2,000 times since my birth and I only have a cursory understanding of its meaning. I’ve met menÂ and women who bridge the divide of heaven and earth.Â I’ve witnessed their discipline and drive towards obedience to the Lord’s will. This is not just a “because he is Jesus” prayer! HeÂ invited his disciples into heaven’s activities, which means that it is possible for the rest of us. There is no elite Christian team! We are all ragamuffins, capable of bringing down giants when we die to self and live for Christ.

Lord, reveal heaven to me and may I have the eyes to see your glory on earth. Amen!

Pickpocket

Posted February 2, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Depression is a pickpocket,

Pinching souls of pluck.

I Am A Tomb Raider

Posted January 29, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Hope, lit in abstract is easily

Snuffed out by passionate loneliness.

Attempts to breathe, clotted by

veins scarredÂ by sorrow.

Eyes, scaled by experience and

Belief,

Closed in sleep against the cruelties

Of the world.

Iâ€™m not afraid to climb into the ditch with you,

Iâ€™ve dug this grave before.

Grave digger turned grave robber.

Joined, a band of brothers and sisters, saturated

In the oil of faith,

searching tombs of darkness for a pulse, because you matter

To me.

The torch of our souls leaning close to

living corpses already making beds of graves.

Relentless in calling Lazarus from the

tomb. It is not your time yet.

I am hope, concrete with dirty fingers.

Note to My Readers

Posted January 25, 2016 | Karisa Moore

I was hospitalized on Saturday with Pulmonary Embolism (fancy talk for blood clots in the lungs.) I am doing much better today and will probably be released once they get my medsÂ established.

I praise God for each breath I am given! I encourage you to breathe deeply andÂ live life to the fullest, it is a preciousÂ gift given to each of us.

Too Much!

Posted January 14, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 34:â€¦17The righteous cry, and the LORD hears And delivers them out of all their troubles. 18The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.â€¦

Some days you wake up and your world is already crumbling. Daniel woke up crying in pain, and it went down from there until everyone was being unpleasant to one another. The explosions inside me were oozing out in sharp words and I’m not sure I want to keep them at bay any more.

Now I sit here in the silence, the train whistling in the distance and I feel as if I am stuck on the tracks. Lord, they do not owe me a thing! Help me to glorify you. I don’t have to keep up appearances, I don’t have to hold it all together. Life on this earth sucks sometimes and I’ve had enough. I want my son to be well, or at the very least, to know what is wrong. Please father, give me the strength to keep pressing forward and not to be meanÂ to my family because I can’t fix what is wrong. Open my heart and mind to your will, not mine! Only in the garden of trusting you completely can I be fully present and pleasant to my family. Amen.

Standing in the Gap of Depression

Posted December 31, 2015 | Karisa Moore

“To Lie Passive in His Hands.”

Posted December 30, 2015 | Karisa Moore

“For so he giveth his beloved sleep.” — Psalm 127:2

In my last post I spoke of not striving, but abiding in Christ for what I lack. I may sit here a while, as the Lord seems to have something for me here. Today I stumbled upon a sermon by Charles Haddon Spurgeon entitled, The Peculiar Sleep of the Beloved.

God why haven’t you removed this thorn from my flesh so that I am energized to glorify You? I try to understand why I struggle to sleep, or feel rested. Many of you understand insomnia at the deepest level. Diet changes help some, keeping a sleep routine is positive, but nothing I do results in the deep level of rest my mind and body are desperate for. I strive to sleep. Both Spurgeon and the Psalmist remind us God gives sleep to his beloved, no striving necessary.

Jesus did not get much sleep throughout his ministry, but was able to sleep in a boat during a storm while his disciples panicked. Or how Peter could sleep, chained between two guards, or many men and women of faith, who faced certain death could rest before their execution.

There are so many aspects I love in Spurgeon’s sermon, but of course poetry speaks to me the most. He quotes Madam Guyon (A French Mystic, and amazing Christian influence of her time).

To me tis equal, whether love ordained,

My life or death, appoint me pain or ease;

My soul perceives no real ill in pain,

In ease or health, no real good she sees.

One good she covets, and that good alone,

To choose thy will, from selfish bias free,

And to prefer a cottage to a throne,

And grief to comfort, if it pleases thee.

That we should bear the cross is thy command —

Die to the world, and live to sin no more;

Suffer unmoved beneath the rudest hand,

As pleased when shipwrecked, as when safe on shore.

Are you shipwrecked like me? Do you look at the ship, tossedÂ and smashedÂ again and againÂ as equal to the life on calm seas? I am honestly not pleased with my circumstances, I don’t fully trust God yet in all things. I am asking God to help me with my unbelief and he is answering! Rest dearly beloved, as a free gift. He will not let us falter in his love!

Grow to do one thing, and do it well. Abide (live in) His love for you. Amen!

A Prayer of Surrender

Posted December 17, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Lord, help me to see you as more substantive then my sorrow, my depression. I see the evidence things not seen. I know you are here with me, but it is not enough to fuel my hope.

Father I know that you are good. Like Job I will be able to say that you giveth and take away, but still I will choose to say, blessed is the name of the Lord! But, also like Job I want curse the day I was born.

Master, I was not there when you lay the foundations of the earth! I cannot pretend to know the deep and mighty works of your hand. I cannot count the stars. I do not know how the caterpillarÂ transforms to a butterfly.

I do not understandÂ why you have taken so much from me. I do not pretend to know your purpose in so much grief. I cannot brace myself like a manÂ and face you down like I am on level with you.

Father, I knowÂ that you hear my desperate cry! My body is so weary of this life.Â Daddy, please reveal to me your plan of salvation. Strengthen these bones that you have broken that I might be a witness of your glory! May the world see that youÂ truly blessÂ the believer 10 fold whatever youÂ require from us.

Yes, you break us down, but you build us up on a new foundation–it will not shift like sand! The strength of our new structure of faith is stronger andÂ more beautiful then anything we can build with our own hands. FatherÂ I want to be a mighty oak of righteousness, on display for your splendor. May your mighty works be fully met in me, that the world may know that you are a good, mighty, and aÂ just God! Amen.

I feel so small!

Immature Plans:Trusting the plan of Salvation

Posted December 13, 2015 | Karisa Moore

John 2:4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come.”

Matthew 8:And behold, they cried out saying, “What to us and to you Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time?”

John 1223Â And Jesus answered them, saying, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.â€¦

Our plans to save ourselves are always immature. We look for Jesus to turn water into wine, so we can save the party, but God pours out his own blood to save the world. We look for Jesus to overthrow and punish our enemies. Jesus looks at breaking the chains of sin and offering salvationÂ to those who murder us!

God hears our cries, but he will not answer until the appointed time. This can beÂ confusing, andÂ infuriating! We believe in God, but we don’t believe in his plan or his perfect timing. We look for idols and quick fixes to fill in the gap of our waiting. Matthew Henry’s commentary explains it this way, “Delays of mercy are not denials of prayer. Those that expect Christ’s favors, must observe his orders with ready obedience.”

Can I obey God when he let my son die? Can I keep turning the page of his plan, according to his will and not mine? I see the spectacular results of Jesus’ obedience! Oh Lord, I cry out to you. Open my mind to the possibilities of your perfect plan. Make my path straight. Thank you that you didn’t stop with water to wine! May my narrow plan open wide to the joy of your salvation. Amen

Posts Categorized: depression

National Suicide Hotline