depression Archives - Page 13 of 16 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Tagged: depression

Grief Clock

Posted July 8, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Matthew 4:Matthew 4:11
Then the devil left Him, and angels came and ministered to Him.
Luke 22â€¦42â€œFather, if You are willing, take this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.â€ 43Then an angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him. 44And in His anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.â€¦

I am finding, even whenÂ I’m notÂ consciously aware of the dates, my soul is. The past two days my heartache has swelled and I didn’t register, just like last year, that the 7th seems to be my absolute hardest day of the year. You would think that the 1st would be it, but it is the day I buried Jonathan. Maybe it is because it the very last physical act or contact I have with his body on this earth. In any case I have dragged myself through the past two days.

I know the depth of this heart ache will end soon. There are simply days whenÂ we hurt to ourÂ core, whether in depression or grief. Days when the intensity of what we feel is almost more than our physical bodies can handle. Jesus came to a place where the burden he bore was so great that angels ministered to him, just so he wouldn’t die early. It is telling that the two times Jesus was ministered to are two times the enemy came to sift him; Satan attached when Jesus was at his weakest.

So Lord, as I cry out to you today. “This is more than I can bear!” I look for your comfort and provision to minister to me. MayÂ your will in my lifeÂ be a testimony to the strength you offer to all of your adopted children.

Cacooned in Depression is a Butterfly!

Posted June 26, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Where’s the bell toÂ tug–raise the alarmÂ “I’M NOT DEAD”!

Cocooned in a casket of depression, quickly lowering

hopes into the chasm of darkness. . .

Just wait a second more . .

Wait. . .

to stretch wings

and discover I am a born-again butterfly.

Love, the Remedy for Second Hand Depression

Posted June 2, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Job 30:15“Terrors are turned against me; They pursue my honor as the wind, And my prosperity has passed away like a cloud. 16“And now my soul is poured out within me; Days of affliction have seized me. 17“At night it pierces my bones within me, And my gnawing pains take no rest.â€¦

What do we do when loved onesÂ are giving up on life? Is there such a thing as secondhand depression? Yes, I believe that there is. Like Job’s wife, do we respond, “Curse God and die.”? I don’t think she said those things because she hated Job. I believe she had given into fear. Fear of the circumstances, fear of the onslaught, and fear of loss. She was like Ruth’s mother-in-law, telling her people to no longer call her Naomi, but to call her Marah (Bitter).Â We are asking, what kind of God allows this kind of suffering?!

The lastÂ year with Jonathan was hard! His personality changed so completely that sometimes he said awful things to us. He refused medical care, and he fought mightily with a desire to give up. I was on my knees crying out to God so many times that I was often horse. At moments the fear of losing Jonathan was more tangible than God’s presence, and I struggled to love. Fear and love cannot occupy the same space; fear isÂ a cancer, mimicking normal cells of concern so that we don’t fight its systematic takeover of our ability to love. But fight we must! I don’t mean strive and claw our way out of depression, I’m talking about LETTING GOD FIGHT FOR US. Only when I finally handed Jonathan’s wellbeingÂ over to God could I finally love my son, come what may. Those last few months were the best they could be between the two of us.

Mother TheresaÂ and the Sister’s of Charity ministered with love,Â to those often cursing back at them as they were dying. I have been studying her character for a while, and I am learning how much depression is based on control and conditions. I want to be in control and I am depressed when I am not. We want to be loved back! But oh the power to change the world, when we love from the vantage point of the cross. Are you in the midst of loving someone who may never love you back? Well God has been doing that since the creation of the world. For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son. That whosoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16) That kind of love is the model for how we are to love those who are struggling with depression. Accepting His loveÂ which has no possible repayment is the cure for secondhand depression.Â Loving like ChristÂ is productive suffering!

Depression Ghetto

Posted May 31, 2016 | Karisa Moore

The house shivers and sighs, naked bones exposed.

Groaning againstÂ gentle breezes, wishingÂ to collapse,

but theÂ skeleton stubbornly holds.

SunkenÂ eyes devoid

of life stare out, judging the

world who so cruelly neglected intended purpose.

White picket fence, the last defense from

decay, remains locked tight,

taunting passersby’s with KEEP OUT

-as if anyone wants to COME IN.

But, the weary WELCOMEÂ mat still invites

us in . . . if we triple-dog-dare

to knowÂ the ghost of whoÂ you once could be.

Pickpocket

Posted February 2, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Depression is a pickpocket,

Pinching souls of pluck.

Standing in the Gap of Depression

Posted December 31, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Betrayed by the body

Posted December 9, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Lamentations:320Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.â€¦

Matthew 26:38Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”

Sometimes our body betrays our attempts at escaping depression. Chronic pain, chronic insomnia, chronic stress all break down our body. In other words, our body comes into agreement with depression. So when we begin to change our thinking and our actions the body doesn’t always respond, sometimes because of physical illness it will never be able to respond and at times it out and out rebels.

I often joke that I’m so used to chaos that panic ensues when I experience something normal. Anyone who has ever had an addiction can attest to the war between the body and new habits. Caffeine withdraw can cause headaches, because our body becomes used to caffeine and craves it. Our body can crave depression.

Don’t lose heart when the body doesn’t respond to hope or new habits of acting in faith. Keep forming new ways of thinking, interact with humanity because it IS the right thing to do, not because it feels right. Do what is good, even if the body betrays you.

Dear New Page Turners,

Posted December 4, 2015 | Karisa Moore

I cannot turn the page on suicide alone. None of us can. I value your experiences, your challenges, the depth of your own sorrows and your resilience! Please do not hesitate to contact me with your concerns, suggestions and experiences of hope in the midst of grief or depression.

Thank you for reading and turning the page on suicide with me!

Sincerely,

Karisa

Attention: Talent Needed to Save the World

The Frangrence of Triumph

Posted November 23, 2015 | Karisa Moore

2 Corinthians 2:14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 15For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;â€¦

As I grieve I want to wear the perfume of triumph! It comes from knowing who God is, trusting what he is doing and believing he will reveal his truth through us. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains that those who won battles were doused in sweet fragrances. My fragrance should be Christ because he is the source of my victories. I have had many! To claim victory we have to remember His faithfulness.

He chose me
Plucked me out from despair
Equipped me with scripture to fight the devil’s schemes
Made me a prayer warrior
Caused me to delight in others
Gave me a desire to share his love
Crushed the enemy’s attempts to destroy me through abuse and fear!!!
Defeated the grave long before I had to place my son in it

Too often I wear theÂ scentÂ of death.Â My circumstances are complicated and constant, but God is faithful to give abundant life. I seeÂ his handÂ so clearly, yet I turn my eyes to what isn’t and begin to act like God is not enough for me.

Today I allow you, Father, toÂ wash away my sorrow.Â Lord,Â infuse me with the scent of understanding your ways. Discipline my brokenness. May my life become a beautiful fragrance of glory in the midst of a world filled with the dank scent of despair.

Out of the Darkness Walk: Who Will Walk With Me?

Posted October 18, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Today is the day of my second Out of the Darkness Walk. My team is assembled andÂ so far we have raised over $500 dollars.Â Walking toÂ Turn the Page on Suicide is filled withÂ hope! It may be one by one that we bring others out of the darkness, depression and suicide strugglesÂ are unique to each person, but this illness forces us to see others as individuals. There is no formula that will fix the epidemic. Three things I know are absolutes–LOVE, FAITH, and HOPE. Without these three core values I will falter and fail.

I was reminded this week that sometimes my need for immediate results makes me so short sighted. God’s perspective is above time and I can’t see two inches away from my face. Galatians 6:9-10:

9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Love, faith and hope are in this race for the long haul! Not a short sprint. Jesus came so that we may have life, abundant life and for some of us it takes time for us to accept abundant life. He was willing to go into places that “clean” people just wouldn’t go. Are you and I willing to do the same? Remember, as we offer all that we have to one lost sheep, we know that we do not walk alone.

It took me 20 years to accept abundant life. Many men and women planted seeds along the way. Some of them do not know how valuable there moments with me were, but I do! The Holy Spirit went ahead of these Christians to plow the hardened field of my heart so that one day a little plant emerged, then another, and then another. As I walk today planting seeds in the dark ground of depression and suicide, I hope, I love, and I have faith . . .

Posts Tagged: depression

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