grief Archives - Page 4 of 8 - Turning the Page on Suicide

Posts Tagged: grief

Attacked, but Not Powerless

Posted February 17, 2016 | Karisa Moore

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. (ESV)

Just ran into a friend fresh in the process of grieving the death of her newborn grandson. She relayed that the enemy was attacking her in the midst of her sorrow with a barrage of doubtsÂ and fears that everything that she does is meaningless.

Our enemy is merciless! He is no respecter of grief, depression, or even joy! Some of the seemingly happiest people are under deep attack. Why? No matter whether any of us believe in our creator, Satan does. He hates God, and his goal is to destroy everything God deems beautiful and good. We are the crown joy of God’s creation. As wonderful as nature is, only we are made in the image of Yahweh and receive His breath of life, therefore, we are Satan’s prime target.

Recognizing that Satan will not relent is crucial. Protecting ourselves and gaining ground does not happen by accident. We must guard ourselves, be secure in what we believe to be true, be true to the character God has placed in us, and continue to exercise our spiritual muscles. Warriors train, they listen to the guidance of their commanders, they prepare every day for battle, and they stay alert.

Lord, I am really battle weary today. Help me to rest in your arms tonight and allow you toÂ strengthen my body, mind, and spirit. Amen

Soiled Grief

Posted February 9, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Graves, ripe with blossoms,

always freshlyÂ planted in

our minds.

Too Much!

Posted January 14, 2016 | Karisa Moore

Psalm 34:â€¦17The righteous cry, and the LORD hears And delivers them out of all their troubles. 18The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.â€¦

Some days you wake up and your world is already crumbling. Daniel woke up crying in pain, and it went down from there until everyone was being unpleasant to one another. The explosions inside me were oozing out in sharp words and I’m not sure I want to keep them at bay any more.

Now I sit here in the silence, the train whistling in the distance and I feel as if I am stuck on the tracks. Lord, they do not owe me a thing! Help me to glorify you. I don’t have to keep up appearances, I don’t have to hold it all together. Life on this earth sucks sometimes and I’ve had enough. I want my son to be well, or at the very least, to know what is wrong. Please father, give me the strength to keep pressing forward and not to be meanÂ to my family because I can’t fix what is wrong. Open my heart and mind to your will, not mine! Only in the garden of trusting you completely can I be fully present and pleasant to my family. Amen.

Manger Alter

Posted December 19, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Ramen Noodles were a mothers desperate attempt at feeding her child who could not keep food down. It was a favorite food. I did not understand how much my heart was entangled inÂ this simple pleasure until my husband asked if he could donate it to the food bank. He had no idea I had purchased the unopened packageÂ for Jonathan until I choked out the words.

ItÂ sat in my Lazy Susan for two years. How my heart aches! To give voice to my pain, to identify my sorrow, is an opportunity to let go of anything that hinders me from pressing forward. I have been deeply hinderedÂ this Christmas. The constant abscess of grief is wearing my spiritÂ to rags.Â Â So, after havingÂ Brian check the expiration date–do Ramen Noodles ever expire? –I offered it to my king (laughter is good medicine)Â and asked that it may bless the belly of the hungry soul who receives it.

What is sitting in your Lazy Susan this year? Can you let go?

A Prayer of Surrender

Posted December 17, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Lord, help me to see you as more substantive then my sorrow, my depression. I see the evidence things not seen. I know you are here with me, but it is not enough to fuel my hope.

Father I know that you are good. Like Job I will be able to say that you giveth and take away, but still I will choose to say, blessed is the name of the Lord! But, also like Job I want curse the day I was born.

Master, I was not there when you lay the foundations of the earth! I cannot pretend to know the deep and mighty works of your hand. I cannot count the stars. I do not know how the caterpillarÂ transforms to a butterfly.

I do not understandÂ why you have taken so much from me. I do not pretend to know your purpose in so much grief. I cannot brace myself like a manÂ and face you down like I am on level with you.

Father, I knowÂ that you hear my desperate cry! My body is so weary of this life.Â Daddy, please reveal to me your plan of salvation. Strengthen these bones that you have broken that I might be a witness of your glory! May the world see that youÂ truly blessÂ the believer 10 fold whatever youÂ require from us.

Yes, you break us down, but you build us up on a new foundation–it will not shift like sand! The strength of our new structure of faith is stronger andÂ more beautiful then anything we can build with our own hands. FatherÂ I want to be a mighty oak of righteousness, on display for your splendor. May your mighty works be fully met in me, that the world may know that you are a good, mighty, and aÂ just God! Amen.

I feel so small!

Gift Wrapped Grief

Posted December 10, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Popsicle photos

and fragrant fir

openÂ gift wrapped grief.

The Collider

Posted December 3, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Amidst theÂ darkness of hovering grief, cold

realityÂ collidesÂ with warmÂ consciousness,

like atoms birthing a new creation in the deep.

Attention: Talent Needed to Save the World

The Frangrence of Triumph

Posted November 23, 2015 | Karisa Moore

2 Corinthians 2:14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 15For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;â€¦

As I grieve I want to wear the perfume of triumph! It comes from knowing who God is, trusting what he is doing and believing he will reveal his truth through us. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains that those who won battles were doused in sweet fragrances. My fragrance should be Christ because he is the source of my victories. I have had many! To claim victory we have to remember His faithfulness.

He chose me
Plucked me out from despair
Equipped me with scripture to fight the devil’s schemes
Made me a prayer warrior
Caused me to delight in others
Gave me a desire to share his love
Crushed the enemy’s attempts to destroy me through abuse and fear!!!
Defeated the grave long before I had to place my son in it

Too often I wear theÂ scentÂ of death.Â My circumstances are complicated and constant, but God is faithful to give abundant life. I seeÂ his handÂ so clearly, yet I turn my eyes to what isn’t and begin to act like God is not enough for me.

Today I allow you, Father, toÂ wash away my sorrow.Â Lord,Â infuse me with the scent of understanding your ways. Discipline my brokenness. May my life become a beautiful fragrance of glory in the midst of a world filled with the dank scent of despair.

Grief in Nightmares

Posted October 30, 2015 | Karisa Moore

I don’t sleep much, and when I do it is filled with nightmares. I don’t need a Halloween, my eyes are already pried open to the horrors of life. Feeling pretty down right now.

I dreamed this week that I was in a pool swimming and everything was bright and cheerful, but there was this constant darkness IÂ strained toÂ hold at bay. Suddenly Jonathan appeared. All he wanted to do was swim with us, but I wanted desperately to talk to him. We got out the pool and Jonathan was trying to explain why he died. It made perfect sense as he was telling me, but I don’t remember what he said and I wish I could remember.

Breathing Life Into Your Reflections

Posted October 7, 2015 | Karisa Moore

Caught a glimpse of you today

mirroredÂ inÂ another

standing in your

shoes, your smock,

your hat,

ready to

serve me

My son introduced

you to my pain

building kinship

to his brother hanging

on the wall.

fringe familiarity

blinked back at me

“IÂ shared a bus.”

You acknowledged

Grief heaved

a heavy sigh of

silence between us.

How are you?

Questioning the

son I can longer ask

Willing another still

breathing to

value each breath

Embracing Photos

Posts Tagged: grief

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